Years add wisdom, difficulties build strength, love moves mountains, tears nourish growth, dreams reveal purpose, character buries superficiality...Truth IS.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Commitment

Hey everyone!!  Hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday.  The outside here may be a bit rainy, windy, and dark...but the inside is bright, warm, and calm!!

Wanted to stop in and hit on a topic that seems to be a misunderstood or lightly-taken concept.  Few people really know what the word commitment means..OR they focus on maybe half of the definition and remain oblivious to what it means as a whole.

Commitment defined:
1.  the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.  dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity.

2.  an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action--responsibility, obligation, duty, tie, liability.

So one defining part of commitment is a PROMISE while the other is a TASK.  Sadly, promises are easily broken and "tasks" are just too much like work...and most people look for the biggest benefit for the smallest contribution.  I mean, who wouldn't?  Maybe ...the people who make promises to themselves FIRST. A real promise is not easily kept..but if it is made first to myself, then it makes it a LOT tougher to break.  In its complete state, commitment is dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, and fidelity TO responsibility, obligation, duty tie, and liability.  On the flip side...it is ALSO responsibility, obligation, duty TO dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty.......well, you get my point.  So in essence, true commitment is not one or the other definition but BOTH as ONE.  Commitment IS the promise of the action and the action of the promise.

So why do so many people obligate themselves to such extremes when they really don't understand the depth of what it really means to do so?  Why would one "LOCK" themselves up, restrict their FREEDOM and willingly take on all of this responsibility?  The simple answer would be because they want to and though the reasons they want to may vary widely...here are some right off the top of my head that are probably considerations:
1).  There is some sort of temporary benefit in it for them.
2).  They are attempting to create an image for themselves that coincides with commitment they make.
3)   They are attempting to gain the trust of others by means of an attempt to fulfill a promise.

The more involved answer would probably play out more like this:
1).  Being able to trust themselves enough to follow through is important to them.
2).  Deciding that the overall benefit far outweighs any real or perceived restriction, delay, or discomfort in achieving it.
3).  Their mindset is simply to make decisions that are in line with who they are.

You see, a commitment is NOT a temporary thing and it really has nothing to do with comfort but rather speaks justly to the content of one's character.  When we are young, we all dabble in this "commitment" thingy...and most times, we do it for all of the wrong reasons...insecurity, a need for acceptance, a need to be needed, wanted..etc.  We have a picture in our heads of how we want our life to be and we end up filling it in with all of the wrong colors and shading..until we cannot even see the original anymore, let alone decipher from which direction the light may be entering when the shadows being cast seem to be all over the place.  Though, as we mature and make a few life-altering mistakes, we begin to see that making promises just for the sake of a pretty picture isn't the purpose for them at all.

You know you have the correct, concise, and true picture of commitment when:
1)  You have the opportunity to get something that you want so badly, but are aware enough to know that it is just another pretty package "beginning" that has "going nowhere" written on the card.
2)  You voluntarily (yet sometimes begrudgingly) limit your freedom to do what you want to do NOW for the sake of what is best for you in the long run.
3).  Your will is to FINISH everything that you begin or DIE TRYING.
4).  You become attuned to your strengths and weaknesses, and begin to view imposed limitation and challenge as an exercise in determination, courage, and opportunity to learn, transcend, and succeed.

And lastly....when your goal is to completely trust, love, and embrace yourself as you are---when it is important to you that all that is around you or what you leave behind is a reflection of what is inside of you---when you carry with you no guilt, no shame, and no loose ends that you "wish" you'd have taken better care to tie up---when you take care to make sure that no one else suffers the consequences of your unwillingness to follow-through or shoulders any of the responsibility of your inability to do so.

Important note..there is no escaping the truth...it goes with us wherever we go and we ALWAYS return to it, so it is best NOT to make promises we know we have no intention of keeping...because it is within our intention--the seed of our deepest desires that eventually blooms into the life we either live up to or attempt to live down.  And truth...is no respecter of even the most inventive verbal utterings of a highly imaginative mind...so best to save the words--as what surrounds you and what you leave behind IS your mirror.  Reflection wins every time.

The value of the promises that we make (and not just the promises themselves) are the BEGINNING and the END of who we are.

"We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to die for it."~  Ernesto Guevara.

"Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose--and commit myself to what is best for me."~Paulo Coelho.

"If you build the guts to do something--anything--then you better save enough to face the consequences."~Criss Jami.

"There is a difference between interest and commitment.  When you are interested in something, you do it only when it is convenient.  When you are committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."~Kenneth H. Blanchard.

"Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it and it is very hard for people to stop you."~Bill Cosby.

And finally.."The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one.  Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt, but in spite of doubt."~Rollo May

Sitting exactly where you are now and taking a look back at the decisions that led you here is the only way you will find out exactly what it is you are committed to.  Everyone is committed to something...whether it is healthy or unhealthy is determined by the nature of the challenge.  Is it that of  YOUR OWN resolve or the resolve of others?

And that's all folks!!!