The Meaning In This Moment

Good morning one and all!!

Well, I am amazed at the number of hits I've gotten on my "water to wine" post...it could possibly be because of the image that I used with the faucet...but hey...whatever gets ya here!!  lol :)

I've been talking lately a lot about the power of "positive thinking" or just being grateful and appreciative and living in the moment and how the universe seems to walk hand-in-hand with you as you do.  Actually, it will even appear to walk ahead of you--paving the way, and really, I think the latter example is more true.  What I think actually happens is a series of natural events, unencumbered by our selfish resistance.  One thing that I do know for sure is that our minds and our feelings have the power to change our reality.  I've tested this theory over and over and it has paid off immensely.  It has even gotten to the point where I feel a dramatic shift in how I react and respond to situations, circumstances, and other people.  The inner peace this shift has brought to my life is immeasurable and has never been experienced before to this level.

There is no more boredom, no more dissatisfaction, no more "wishing".  Oh, there are goals, there are aspirations, and there is imagination and my ever-present curious nature, but my FOCUS is on where within that bigger picture I am all of the time...and this is NOW.  When you do this...when you are FULLY present in THIS moment...there are so many things that you realize you have missed by all of the distraction of the past and future .  The ONLY reality is NOW.  The past and the future are nothing but mind-candy---a thought...that's it--and thoughts bring in tow with them...emotional responses (both are of pure energy)...when we dwell on either, it is wasted energy.  How is it serving us today?  If we were to look deeply enough at it, we would probably say--it's giving us hope or it is stealing our hope away.  Something that does not exist anymore or something that doesn't exist YET cannot give or take away ANYTHING.  It isn't HERE.  Hope IS.  It is not given or taken away by time.  We all live NOW.  We all experience NOW.  How do we FEEL now.  What is around you NOW and where are YOU in the midst of it?  Thinking of a past experience or a future endeavor?

As I began my "test" (so to speak) of this revelation, I would think---"wow, this is not as easy as it would seem" because my mind was so wild--and this is something that we just don't notice until we make it a point to.  It was all over the damn place.  When you really put your attention to all of the chatter that goes on, you almost wonder how at the end of the day (and shit even the end of the morning)...you're not completely exhausted with all of those thoughts and emotional responses that accompany them ALL OF THE TIME.  And truth be told...it DOES sap a LOT of energy.  When you begin this process, you find that it is almost a third-person proposition--as if you are observing yourself from outside of yourself.  There is a part of you that has the ability to do this.  This is the eternal part of you...the part of you that never changes..and that has the very same composition of EVERYTHING.   You can literally "step back" and watch the pattern of your thoughts...and how many times they are everywhere but where they really need to be.  The distraction factor is relentlessly high.  However, what I have found the entire problem to be is FIXATION--which can be whittled away at by redirection little by little.  It is the natural state of the mind to be BUSY all of the time and it wants to take you with it on it's merry-go-round nature of replay...and funny...WE GO, over and over again--and most times, the fixation of the mind immediately defaults to "negative."  Example:  Someone brings you a mixed bouquet of beautiful flowers, different colors, different species...what do we think?  We immediately go to gratitude to the giver of the gift..."awe, thank you...and you begin to think...this person is so thoughtful"  and there is nothing wrong with that.  But now many times do we really (in that moment) look at the gift we have been given.  How many times do we look at each of these flowers to appreciate THEIR beauty?  Pretty much, we give all of the credit to the giver, throw them into a vase and that moment is ever remembered as "a time when so and so brought me flowers"  because we concern ourselves with things that make us feel good, feel bad, feel whatever.  If we were to actually appreciate the beauty of the gift itself and really SEE them, maybe we could feel integrated and whole.  Maybe we could see ourselves as these flowers.  Maybe we could get a lot more from the experience than our MINDS allow us to.  Now, in keeping with this thought...(and this is a paraphrase of an example used by Eckhart Tolle).  How long do we fixate upon the beauty of something compared to how long we fixate upon the past, the future, or something someone did TO us?  We could revisit that same experience (literally) millions  of times over the years, but how soon is the experienced beauty of something forgotten?  You see, the mind is set on negative by default.  Even if we BEGIN to revisit a beautiful past event, the avenger soon comes to take it over.

I dare you all to test this.  This is what I've found:   The more peace I have, the more I am given.  The more patience I have, the less I have to wait.  The less energy I spend wanting, the more things are given.  The less drama I involve myself with, the less it appears in my life.  The less I worry, the less I have to worry about.  The more present I am, the more present God (or whatever you choose to call the ultimate power) is present with and inside of me.  The more confident I am, the less mistakes I make.  The more in tune I am with now, the less concerned I am with "then."

I'm not gonna lie, at first, it felt almost impossible to beat my mind into submission, but I also found that was the wrong attitude to have.  Just being HERE NOW makes your mind WANT to work with you.  I have found times where a straying thought enters in...and immediately my mind (believe THAT or not) says "redirect"...and I focus on the sunshine, the birds singing, and I validate that I am ALIVE by fixating upon my breath and immediately, that thought is gone and is replaced with now...and a smile just naturally comes to my face.  It is amazing!!  You don't have to DO anything...just BE here now---and the transformation just naturally takes place internally first...then externally.

I've had things that I probably could not have ever pre-conceived happen in my life--surprises that I could not wrap my mind around, even if I were to try (so I just don't--I just appreciate).  Anything I could perceive as a potential problem or anything I could choose to fixate upon are just naturally nonexistent.  They become fixed before they become broken.  It is as if the universe removes anything to worry about before it becomes a worry in the first place.  Now THIS is some pretty stellar stuff right here!!  Our fixations are just the (very generic) and wanna-be form of what comes naturally.  They want to CREATE your life..however, your life already IS.  Our past experiences are of use, if they are used to their fullest benefit ONLY...which is through ACTION now.  It is not about mulling it over and over in your mind to your own self-defeat.  It is about empowering you to be the best you that you can be NOW.  We make the mistake of wanting to "redo" this and that..."maybe if I did it this way instead"...and what that really does is create our today with little patches of a mindfully-tweaked yesterday hoping your future will be a better tomorrow.  What a WASTE!!  Do you agree?

Bottom line here is choice, redirection, transformation, and purpose---all of which the mind alone is too small to even fathom.  Master the mind...and the purpose of your life will unfold naturally.  Allow the mind to master you...and you die never knowing why you ever existed in the first place--and as in life, the past will haunt you and your last breath will come upon you in fear and without notice...just as all of the ones you were blessed with your entire life did.

Namaste
RainaMay.

Personal power and healthy boundary

Good morning everyone!!  Hope this new day brings with it new possibility, new opportunity, and a fresh new perspective on what it means to alive!!

So often, we allow our day to begin as a continuation of the worries of yesterday--and maybe even some, with a sense of dread--thinking things like "I hope today is a better day than yesterday" or "I don't FEEL like going to work, or running errands",or whatever it may be that we've planned for this new day ahead of time.  We tend to need something positive to be going on in our lives to FOCUS on the positive...and we are somehow programmed on negative by default.

I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday who is experiencing some fallout from poor decisions (although this is the third time in a matter of a couple of years that I have heard the same story).  She points her anger and her frustration at outside circumstances....and uses phrases like:  "Why do I even bother getting out of bed every day."   I began  explaining to her the power of positive thinking, an attitude of gratitude, and making a list of things each day that she is grateful for.  Her response "Well, I'm sure that may work for SOME people...but not everyone."  Immediately, I thought of the T.D Jakes message I posted on Sunday.  You will never get a BIG IDEA across to a small mind.  They can think of all kinds of "outs" and excuses to NOT listen and or practice something that has been PROVEN to work in the life of the one encouraging them.  They will profess their trust in your advice and constantly seek it...but as soon as you start talking positive mindset as it relates to possibility...their resistance to believe that something that simple could literally change the circumstances of their lives is obvious.  However, if we were to closely examine the attitudes and mindset that has accompanied us into the "negative" predicament that we are in---I'm sure we would find a host of thoughts and senses that match.  However, how do we break our denial?  How do we stop playing the victim?  How do we stop laying blame on the universe for being so unfair and so unjust?  GET RID OF THE ATTITUDE OF ENTITLEMENT and the ATTACHMENT to the end result.  Honesty plays a huge role in letting go of these components to our self-defeating mindset.  I've heard people say in defense of their actions "What I am doing is really not hurting anyone else...so why should people care what I do--if it isn't hurting them"  The answer to that is...when we are taking our "problems" and our "angst" and our "frustrations" to others---we EXPECT them to care, don't we??  Ahhh...but here lies the problem...what we LOOK for when we do this is maybe more validation of the way we feel than anything that may actually HELP the situation or shed light on OUR responsibility in the mess we find ourselves in.  We just have SUCH a hard time being honest with ourselves don't we?  And really, that is all it takes to turn your life around FOR GOOD!!  If we find ourselves in the same situation over and over and over again....can we really blame the situation?  What is the constant in this?  Simple answer:  "I" am.  There is no dispute.... no argument good enough, and no excuse strong enough to convince anyone else that we have no part to play in all of this....especially if it is a totally OVERPLAYED scenario.  Some people are just so bent on protecting their "image" or the "image they believe they have" that they are willing to allow their entire lives to fall apart around them...ya know...just so people don't think that they had anything to do with it.  We have no problem allowing our negativity, our deceit, and our sense of entitlement to get us into trouble and create "lack" in our lives (because in this mindset, there is always something else "wanted" and always something else to project the blame upon when we don't get it), but we seem to have an extra-large problem even entertaining that a positive mindset, honesty, and gratitude could turn the tides the other way.  We cling to the notion that "if I look honestly at my intentions, my motivations, and my actions leading up to this repeated crisis, I will lose the last little bit of respect I have for myself and then, NOTHING will ever change..because then, I know that I am (at the very least) partially responsible for the mess I've gotten myself into."  I'm here to tell ya...that is a conditioned response.  That is a lie.  Anything that makes us fear is an untruth.  What genuinely happens is quite contrary to what we think.  When you are completely honest with yourself and see yourself complete with the lack of good judgement, the mistakes you've made, the miscalculations you've figured...you actually feel compassion for yourself.  You begin to think..."wow, how insecure, hurt, afraid...(whatever emotion you can attach to it) I must have been to do this or that"  You may even bash yourself and have a bit of a pity party for yourself, but once you realize that it was the broken parts of you that were ruling over what eventually turned into the mirror of your heart as your life...you begin to provide those hurts with self-nurturing salve...and as you begin to care for yourself, you begin to clearly see the alternatives.  Once you make up your mind to take total control of your life...setting boundaries and adhering to them, you just innately begin to develop a new mindset--which in turn CHANGES YOUR LIFE for the better. There is no longer a need for a "fall-back" object of blame...there is no need for excuses and when you make a mistake, you know RIGHT AWAY, it was the wrong move.

Karma is impartial...it is universal justice.  It is not a system of reward and punishment.  It is a system of balance.  But in order to achieve the balance it is consistently offering you, TRUTH has to prevail...the ability to recognize AND utilize it.  Whether it works for or against you is completely dependent upon what you are willing to give to it.  It works according to the truth about YOU.  Look at it as a bank account of fate.  Truthful and positive intent, motivation, and action are deposits.  Deceitful (in any form--be it used against another or yourself), self-serving intent, motivation, and actions are withdrawals.  Just as a bank account earns you more interest the more you deposit into it, Karma does the same.  It builds more positive.  Too many withdrawals and you are left with nothing...nothing to build interest upon and no interest..and Karma is right there too giving you MORE of that.  You can't get blood from a rock...right?  If you are not building, you are destroying.  If you are not contributing, you are stealing.  Until we realize this...we are dependent upon outcome that is completely out of our control and one in which the shots are called FOR us--which we could term fate's welfare system.

As I pointed out in an earlier post...it is all about choices.  If you choose NOT to live in truth..that is your choice.  But really, don't expect others to applaud you or tell you what you want to hear or even adapt to your way of thinking...when your way is obviously NOT working for you.  If you ever settle with the mindset that you are the "exception to the rule", a harsh reality will soon follow and the more you run from the truth, the deeper you will bury yourself.

So really...positive builds positive...negative builds negative...not really too much of a stellar concept there.  And it applies to EVERYONE...it doesn't "work for some and not for others"...to ever believe something like that is to mock the life you have been blessed to live to the fullest if you so CHOOSE to do so.

I get SO frustrated sometimes trying to explain self-proven concepts to others (who bring their problems or upsets to ME).  I don't go out looking for lives to butt into.  I have to laugh when I listen to the "What's the Big Deal" message, because I can so relate..you just begin to lose interest...in mid-conversation and then, just altogether.  I look at it this way...if you already HAVE things that you are grateful and appreciative for...then WHY not give THOSE things your attention...why is it so easy for us to lose sight of all things good when ONE area in our lives is not going the best?  Are our blessings just a piece of shit-cake because we don't have what we WANT when we want it exactly the way we want it?  Does everything have to be just perfect before we can see anything that way?  And do we really deserve the things we want...or just feel we should have them despite the lack of personal contribution we make.   Do we make our own bed?  Yeah, sorry to say, we do.

I have many times in my life been in what I thought was a no-win situation...living in the depths of depression, hopelessness, and at times, helplessness--I've tried the "blame it on everything and everyone" else game...and it keeps your EGO intact, but it doesn't stop your LIFE from falling apart.  I would never ask anyone or suggest to anyone something I haven't done myself or even better...something that someone hasn't SEEN me do myself.  If I preach it, it is because I've lived it, been there, done that.  If you trust me enough with the intimate details of your life to share them with me, then you probably shouldn't scoff at the words of experience I share with you--because if you know me, you already know how I am going to approach it.  If it isn't what you want to hear...then maybe you should find an alternative source of what it is that you seek--is it justification or perspective?  Just as inconceivable as something so simple as a positive outlook and appreciation and love for for what you have instead of dwelling on the lack could actually make the difference in your circumstance is my inability to conceive how a redundant crisis could present itself over and over again within a pretty tight time-frame without some sort of change in thought, attitude, intent, or action.

Impasse??  I believe so.  Am I bothered by it?  Absolutely not.  I no longer feel the need to put my energies into rescuing others.  I can only share what has worked for me and then fall back within the healthy boundaries I have set for myself.  I have no need whatsoever to be anyone else's savior or hero.  I do; however, owe it to myself to make choices I am proud of.

"Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime."~Chinese proverb.

This proverb seems so clear-cut and truthful, doesn't it...it makes perfect sense.  However, what if the man chooses not to utilize what he has been taught?  THIS is the gap.  It seems absurd to me that one would choose to blame the fish for not biting, or the weather for being uncooperative, and then reduce their own power of choice to either the charitable contributions of others or starvation.  BUT hey, that image is intact, isn't it?  lol

Sorry about the ranting nature of this entry.  Sometimes, that steam valve needs to blow open to release the  pressure.

"Evaluating the benefits and drawbacks of any relationship is your responsibility.  You do not have to passively accept what is brought to you.  You can choose."~Deborah Day.

"The most important distinction anyone can ever make in their life is between who they are as an individual and their connection with others."~Anne Linden.

Have a great day everyone...xoxoxox

He took the words right outta my mouth!!

http://www.lightsource.com/ministry/the-potters-house/whats-the-big-idea-part-1-296536.html

I have SO much respect for this man.  Indoctrination aside....he speaks the TRUTH--and though he is a professed Christian...his messages reach the secular heart and touch the universal spirit.  Please give this message a listen.  I think you'll see a similar mindset behind the messages I post here and what he speaks about. I was thinking of posting this morning...but when I watched this, I thought, I couldn't have said it any better myself.  So enjoy...

Much Love & Peace to all.

Choice, Excuse, & Reason.

Good morning everyone!

I've been focusing quite a bit lately on the enormous amount of choices we make in just one day, one minute, one hour.  To be honest...that is what our entire life is spent doing.  Then there is the incessant mind chatter that accompanies all of these choices "time to get out of bed"  "time to get the coffee started" and those are just the beginning.  "I think I'll check my FB, write a little in my blog...but what should I write about?  I know, I'll write about choices"...yeah...just catch yourself in the act sometime!!  We do this SO unconsciously---but our choices are the outward expression of who we are inside.  And behind or underneath all of these choices, there lies a reason.  Sometimes it is for comfort, sometimes it is because it needs to be done, sometimes it is because no one else will do it...mostly though, we choose what is important to us.  The choice we ultimately make after the internal dialog is always the one that we feel is most beneficial.  Consideration also plays a role in any final decisions we make...but what rings true with each choice we make...is what or whom we consider and what or whom benefits from that choice.   A choice always begins as a secret (inner) consideration of importance FIRST and then we manifest this choice into a palpable action for us to experience and for others to observe.  It is the fruit of the spirit....the wine of the water....the word.  It is bred of intention and is then fueled by motivation.  The choices we make and the patterns of those choices are what we become identified by--our "mark" that comes before us...as if it were imprinted upon our foreheads.  We are known by this mark.  The underlying intention yields the outward reason.  Our reasons need no explanation or defense or justification....our reasons and who we are blend to make one.  And I have said before and will say again a million times....the end result of something ALWAYS matches the initial intent.

The use of free will has become abundantly abused and treated as if it were a part of a "3 wishes genie lamp" or "if you had one day to live, what would you do" kinda thing.  I have observed people who have been rubbing that lamp and DYING their entire lives.  They feel entitled to all that can be given to them.  They don't attach any sense of personal responsibility to their choices---but they are masters at assigning it to others and then playing the "ignorance" "I don't know" and "I don't have an answer for that" card.

You can plainly see and point out those who have control of their lives and those who are controlled by everything and everyone else---but this is a willingness...not a victimization by the outer world.  It is really an attack against themselves---though they have themselves convinced it is everything and everyone else's fault.  You will hear someone controlled by circumstance and a need for acceptance and approval say on a pretty regular basis "I wasn't looking for it...it just happened."  Although these words can be spoken by anyone ...they are not usually part of a continual repertoire attempting to defend an action.  If you read between the lines of these words, what they actually are saying is "I had no control over it, it is the fault of the circumstance."  They defend their "intention" by saying "I wasn't looking for it"...but it happened anyway (TO ME).  So these words are meant to deflect their responsibility of the choice they made and somehow make them look like a victim of circumstance.

People who exert control over their lives are those who consistently make conscientious decisions...they are well-thought out and all things are considered.  They are the ones whose lives seem to be on track and the company they keep seem to have the same mindset.  They are the ones who often say "I thought about it and decided it was or wasn't the best thing to do"  or "I'm happy with the decision I have made" or "I make no apologies for the choices I've made."  What they are really saying is "I've taken full responsibility for the choice I made in this circumstance" "I own the choices I've made."  Can you see the difference?

And we all make mistakes and sometimes spur-of-the-moment decisions....but the wise choose insight to figure out why they've made choices that negatively impact their lives so that they lessen the chances of it happening again.  The unwise...never learn.  They cannot use insight---and don't even know what it is...because every choice they make is governed by all that is outside where nothing else is considered but that circumstance in that particular moment in time.  They crave approval, adoration, suspense, and new, all the time--but it is so funny that as transparent as they become behind their actions, they always try to defend them in some way...and ignorance is usually the most played card--with pity coming in a very close second.  What creates this mindset and way of life?

What is the difference between these two mindsets?  Why is one more apt to go "wait a minute, I need to really think about this" and another so easily persuaded and led without a single thought about consequence?  You almost have to think that it is as simple as one actually cares and one really doesn't.  And on the surface, this is true...but if we were to dig a little deeper (cuz that's how I roll!!)...what is it that causes one person to be careless and another to care?  There could be various reasons, but I think that it is the difference between a healthy sense of self vs. the unhealthy.  The one thing I am definitely convinced of though is whichever mindset you use...it is right for you.

This quote sums it up..."Our lives are the total sum of our choices"  Some live by the premise of  "do onto others as you would have them do unto you" and some live by "do to others before they have a chance to do it to you."  Empathy is the missing link...lack of emotional intelligence.

The difference between reason and excuse:  

A reason needs no explanation nor defense...and excuse always defends and more than likely...it is yourself or your actions you are justifying.  For example:  If your low-gas light in your car is on and the bell is dinging...and you have 60 miles to travel, you will more than likely get gas before you venture on.  No one has to ask you WHY you got gas...the REASON you got gas is because you were low and had many miles left to travel...the car needs gas to function...period.  The reason is obvious.  However, same scenario...but this time, you decide not to get gas, you run out of gas...call a friend to bring enough gas to get you to a gas station...someone is going to ask Why DIDN'T you get gas?  And then...there is the "excuse."  If common sense dictates that cars run on gas and you are on empty before venturing on a 60-mile trip and you neglect to get what the vehicle needs to take you there...then what is the reason---something to do with YOU.  Maybe you didn't feel like getting it, maybe you thought you had more than you actually did, maybe you thought you could make it to the next gas station...who knows...but the reason really is neglect to take proper care, do the right thing...and no consideration of consequence.  THAT is the reason...and I wouldn't even need anyone to explain it to me.  I already know.

The reason needs no explanation...it is the core...the excuse is a mask of intent...they are not interchangeable.  So, wherever you find yourself in your life is exactly where you put yourself....the reason...because that is where you want to be or where your intention put you.  If you continually find yourself back at square one, one has to assume that you like it that way, this is the right way for you.  Your choices reflect the life you live and the life you live is a direct reflection of your choices.  If you find people asking you why you make the choices you do or commenting on the choices you've made, more than likely, they are looking for validation of a moral compass in there somewhere---not necessarily an "explanation."  The reasons are already apparent and no amount of band-aid words (excuses) begin to cover them.  More than likely....these questions are an attempt to make you look inside yourself for the answer...not to elicit a defensive response.   In other words...they are questions that you should probably be asking yourself.

Basic difference...any decision that is under your control, you own.  Any decision that is not..is a valid reason.      

"Insanity--doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."~Albert Einstein.  VERY true story!!

So choices---simply, because you can?  Or....more importantly, because you have a responsibility to care for and about yourself, your life, and that also of your fellow man?

Most people already know the difference.  The questions are really rhetorical.

"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."~Joanne Kathleen Rowling.

"To live is to choose--but to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there."~Kofi Annan.

"Until a person can say deeply and honestly 'I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday', that person cannot say 'I choose otherwise.."~Steven R. Covey.

"Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there is all the difference in the world.  Apathy fails to distinguish what can and what cannot be helped, acceptance makes that distinction.  Apathy paralyzes that will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens."~Arthur Gordon.

"Do or do not, there is no try."~Yoda.

"The robber of your free will...writes Epictetus, does not exist."~Marcus Aurelius.

"Don't do what you'll have to find an excuse for."~Proverb.

"Excuses are the tools with which persons with no purpose in view build for themselves great mountains of nothing."~Steven Grayhm.

And finally....."There is no such thing as a list of reasons.  There is either one sufficient reason or a list of excuses.~Robert Brault.

On a personal note...I raised my children with this thought:  Whatever commitment you are thinking of making--think long and hard about it before you make the final decision to enter into it.  Once that promise is made, you will not be permitted to quit.  Others are counting on your presence.  Whatever it is you make a choice to do...do it to the very best of your ability, because if you don't, you will let yourself and others down...and you will, yourself regret it, and others will see you as someone who cannot be counted on.  Holding fast to your promise and doing your very best will never make you shameful...however, going against a promise or a haphazard performance breeds it.   Although there are never any guarantees in life and there WILL be times when all of the effort you can possibly expend will not seem to make a difference, or when circumstances beyond your control will seemingly render your efforts meaningless--those are the times when fate is telling you that this particular venture just isn't meant to be for YOU. However, even in those times, wouldn't it be better to KNOW that there wasn't anything else you could have done differently because you gave it all you had...than to walk away with the burdensome feeling that you were..quite possibly... the reason it didn't work?  I'm proud to say that for the most part...my now-adult children understand this and through this concept alone, they've achieved personal successes that were beyond their own expectations and have a pretty good grasp of who they are.,..and the best part of it is THEY are not ashamed.

That's it for today kids....have a good night!!  :)

Peace.

Whisper on a scream

Wishing all a VERY good morning...it is so good to be alive and well.

I started my day off today viewing a You Tube lecture entitled "The Prescription for Happiness" by Deepak Chopra.  This is not the first of his lectures that I have taken part in...nor will it be the last.  This lecture was based on principles of Buddha (who is known as the first enlightened being).  The snippets of the story of the life of Buddha that were outlined for the purpose of the lecture (as smiling faces in the audience filled with anticipation of a breakthrough) brought me to tears--as I have already had quite a few of them leading me to where I am today...though, there are a couple that I still struggle with.

Yesterday, as I sat re-reading the content of the book I am working on and revising and editing, I realized that I wasn't very pleased with something...I couldn't really put my finger on it...but at the time I wrote it, it felt right, I liked it, but now, with new eyes on a new day, I wasn't quite pleased.  It didn't seem to be the content as much as the context of the content.  It wasn't so much what I was saying or trying to convey, but (in places) how I was saying it--where it was coming from... and the FORMAT that was confusing.  I realized that I was missing something.  My platform is shaky and inconsistent.   I don't want my purpose to be reduced to a "speech."  I am not an expert in anything except being me.  I had to tone down "talking" a bit and instead invite a conversation to take place between myself and the reader---where I listened as much as a spoke.  Don't get me wrong, in places...I was part of a whole, but in others, I stood alone as the whole in itself (contextually speaking)--see what I mean?  Shaky and confusing.  This got me a bit down, not enough to tank it, but just enough to seek a higher voice, a better way, a cohesive solution.

I've grown SO much in the past year that it is actually tactile...I can see it, I can feel it, and it comes BEFORE me in my intention, the thoughts that follow, to the action that inevitably unfolds.  I can see a sharp contrast in some areas, and in others, a building of more power where I already had strength.  If I could put my heart and mind into words, this was the space in which I found myself yesterday via my journal entry for the day:  Learning that it is hard to write about a journey while you are on it...when the scenery changes so much on that road and through the growth process...and what you saw just a month ago takes on a sometimes new and definitively more expansive dynamic and form--and back-space becomes your best friend...and renders the work of your hands to pure vanity. Need to design a better format for contextual content. Leave it to me to bite off the existential!


I realized that an earlier inclination to think, think some more, and over-think was a thing of the past.  Instead, I relinquished my "will" to the silence.  I listened for an answer...to the ultimate question "what am I missing here."  I knew it wasn't my understanding of what I was trying to convey, I knew that it wasn't the words themselves on the pages.  It was ME...something inside of ME that was reflecting the jumbled nature of the whole.  I let it go.  I meditated before bed.  I allowed the thought to gloss over my mind...but then trusted that an answer would come.  This is my new inclination, and with anything new...we need time to learn how to properly utilize it to gain its maximum potential.  Now with this new inclination which has brought such an abrupt change in my mindset, there needed to be found...the balance in it, the point of harmony.  I would have to wait for it to present itself to me.  


As I mentioned, I started my day off (before I visited any social networking site or did anything but get my cup of coffee ready) with this lecture.  In this lecture, the answer unfolded.  


Nirvana:  Discovering the REAL you.  


1).  Be aware of your body.  (This one, I already have!!) :)
2).  Live in the present moment. (This one I've recently surrendered to!!) :)
3).  Embrace silence (Another new practice, but astoundingly profitable and also recently discovered) :)
4).  Relinquishing need for external approval.  (This one was tricky...I already had this one too...I've never gone so far as being a people pleaser, or caring too much what others thought of me, whether they liked me or not (I didn't care to control) but I could be swayed by specific circumstance to unwittingly seek this from the object of which I felt my sense of self-worth was suffering). We'll give this one a   :/
5.  Get rid of toxic emotions.  (THIS is a work in progress...and I found within my expression a reflection of this teeter-tottering.  From my book's beginnings until now, there has been much growth...as I erase the old mindset, I delete much content). :(
6).  Total knowledge--transcendence.  (THANK GOD for this one...it's what keeps me going---I KNOW this one. :)
7).  Don't judge others or yourself (Another transformation in progress, which goes along with the initial development of toxic emotions...it comes before them...so backspacing that out too).  :)
8).  Remove all toxins from your life.  (I haven't even begun this one!!) :(
9).  Replace fear-based thinking with love-based thinking---I got this one DOWN!! :)
10).  Cultivate witness awareness--no problems with this one either!! :)


So...without fear of being honest with myself or exposing my demons, the problems I face in my writing of this book are the reflection of my own spiritual struggles within the content.  My inner content is in a constant state of welcomed metamorphosis.  The good news is that I have discovered a solid platform to convey from, which has also provided me also with a title (which I usually don't stamp onto any of my work until it is allowed to unfold effortlessly behind the content) but have (much to my amazement) found in that place of balance in between the beginning and the end this time.  This proves to me that I've attached nothing to the outcome.  Funny how what blazed off of my fingers onto those pages thinking would touch someone else, help someone else, or aid someone else in the expansion of their consciousness was the very thing that made me grow MYSELF.  


So my weaker self (which is also ALWAYS the louder voice) wants to convince me that it was all for nothing...it was wasted time and it laughs at me, makes fun of my efforts and reminds me of how much work it is going to take to revamp, revise, and finish with any amount of integrity and solidarity to the knowledge and wisdom I have attained since beginning the task.  Though my higher self whispers with confidence and says:  "Shut up!!  You have NO IDEA what I am made of do you?  My intent has not changed.  That which I wish to bring to light hasn't changed.  The discrepancy only lies within a more evolved attitude--which is a BETTER case scenario...better to learn now than to obliviously press on to awaited failure.


So, knowing that I am a work in progress in some areas, I think it best to just change those things I feel confident in changing now and leave the others until their appointed time.  There is no other time than the right time...and it is not here yet...but it is coming.  This I know for certain. 


Thanks for allowing me to banter on...I love this blog...as it is a consistent paper-trail to my growth process.  Every post is new to the day, the moment.  I don't ever have to worry about revision because it is here right now...always.  New day, new post, new vantage point, new me.  


To my faithful readers...God bless you and thank you for your validation.  It's part-n-parcel of what keeps me motivated.  


Raina

"I will contend with those who contend with you."

Hi everyone!!

Wow!!  Close to 5 o'clock yesterday morning, it began to rain...I immediately jumped out of bed because I thought that I had left the driver's side window down on my car (which I had)...grabbed a long jacket, threw it on and ran outdoors to close it.  As I was coming back onto my porch, I just happened to be facing across the street when I heard a very low-toned, but loud surge of electricity and then out of nowhere, a ball of light flashed on the ground in the driveway (only about 6 feet away from my across-the-street neighbors house), there was a HUGE crack and then sparks flew everywhere like a 4th of July firework that blew up on the ground...and it was only about 40 feet away from me.  Needless to say, I wasted NO time skee-daddling my little ass right back into the house thinking..."THAT was just too close for comfort."  I had never seen anything like that before, let alone being able to witness it from beginning to end THAT close to me.  As utterly amazing as the audiovisual effect was...it was also scary as hell!!  Nature, as docile as she can be when we awaken to a sun-lit room, birds singing and a gentle breeze blowing....can also be SO treacherous given the right conditions.  She demands your respect, that's for sure!!  I'm grateful that nothing suffered any harm from it.  

As I sat in my kitchen reviewing in my mind what had just transpired before my very eyes, and how the timing of this event played out SO perfectly, and how I was probably the ONLY ONE who experienced this natural phenomenon as it played out.  I thought about how it was close enough to fully experience, yet  far enough away not to harm...how it elicited within me both a sense of wonder and a sense of fear at the same time...and how it had power to do serious damage, and yet didn't and how the probability of this ever happening in the same place at the same time is VERY slim to none..and yet there I was, a part of this frozen moment in time and for some reason....it hit me as if it were the ultimate end of a sentence...punctuated by an irrefutable exclamation point with a real sense of DEMAND.  I had no choice but to be advised.

I take a lot of my cues in life from nature, really.  It teaches me the simplest, yet the most profound things---and I am so grateful that I can listen to her and understand her and that she reminds me everyday of the vast amount of possibility that lay at my fingertips.  There is always something to explore and find.  Though most  times, she communicates in whispers...there are also times when she demands to be heard.  Understanding her is futile to those who don't know and understand themselves.  They will never be privy to her secrets, her endless vat of infinite knowledge, instruction, and her comforting ways.  She is real, yet so unpredictable at times, though the deepest aspects of her are unchangeable and can be fully relied upon.  She is bright, beautiful, colorful, and animated.  She makes music, writes poetry, paints scenery, and supports life.  She smiles, she cries, she dances...and she sits in silence...but she grows....AND she is what she is...she never tries to be something she is not.  You love, appreciate, accept and understand her...or you don't...and guess what?  She doesn't give a shit either way because she doesn't exist for anyone's approval.  She is the ultimate display of truth and integrity, grace and strength.  She is abundantly accepting, but equally defensive of her honor.  She lulls and she strikes out.  She has boundary...and though, she is most forgiving, she is also the high priestess of justice.   When she speaks...I listen--always---no matter if I have to strain to hear her or if her message is loud and clear.  I've learned that in so doing, I will never be let down.  I will always know right where I stand with and amidst her without any question.  She lives in sharp contrast to the world and the ways of it...the swaying back and forth of ideals, belief, and action based upon prejudice and the self-seeking nature of its condition, all of the senseless acts of hatred, selfishness, and greed--and the propaganda that creates disharmony, divides...in its attempts to conquer.  But nature is bigger, stronger, and wiser...and has power beyond the mind's capability to imagine or envision. 

Every minute of our day is spent making choices.  We don't even realize this until it is pointed out to us---but it is indeed true.  This is what our ENTIRE life is made of...this is what defines us...makes us recognizable to others...and either lends us credibility or completely destroys the slightest chance of ever earning it.  It also shows where we call "home" and what example we emulate.  There are only two paths...and every one of the gazillion choices we make in this life follow one of the two, as there is no way to go both ways.  Every choice we make places a stamp upon our foreheads which goes BEFORE us...are you a societal sell-out, or a natural phenomenon?   Here's the thing...you don't even have to answer that...nature already knows---though society could be and probably IS confused.  

"Life is the sum of all of your choices."~Albert Camus.

"Decisions become a lot easier when your will to please God outweighs your will to please the world."~Anso Coetzer.  

"While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions."~Stephen R. Covey.  

"Man's heart away from nature becomes hard."~Standing Bear.  

"Never does nature say one thing and wisdom another."~Juvenal, Satires.

"Look deep into nature, and you will understand everything better. "~Albert Einstein.

"Nature hates calculators."~Ralph Waldo Emerson.   

I'm going to end right there for today. 

"Where love is lost....

Good morning everyone!!  I see that the more I post, the more hits I get on my site, and this is just the kind of encouragement I need to dig way down deep inside to and write, write, write.  I don't seem to ever be at a loss for material lately...as my daily experiences provide--always.  This is the way of the universe...in our silence, in our observation, in our bodies, a seed of expression is planted and through a gift, it is uniquely expressed.

I've been reading, watching, and listening to a lot of phenomenally profound messages of inspiration, and as purposeful as these messages have become in my daily life, I have noticed that there is one issue that is glossed over.. and if it is spoken of at all, it is not really addressed in itself as the message is to avoid or ignore it so that you do not lend it your power.  I have found by my very own experience that this is very good advice but at the same time, it is also a very real and common thing that we all face at one time or another in our lives--and some more than others.  We are all on a journey in this life (whether one chooses to believe or see it this way or not), though we are not all in the same place on this journey.  All of the inspiration I attain from these speakers and writers comes more from affirmation and validation, as I've long recognized this truth.  But what about the beginner or the one just wondering how to begin--or the one who has gotten lost along the way?  All of these words of wisdom really don't have much pull when someone is neck-deep in a personal crisis--as crisis is all-consuming.  If the source of the conflict is not first identified, recognized, and understood...moving beyond it is of no value.  It will continue to haunt & taunt you if there are any ifs, ands, buts, woulda, shoulda, or couldas left dangling around.  I also know (from personal experience) that it may take YEARS to develop the maturity it takes to distinguish what to fight against and what to fight for.  So, as far as I am concerned, yes...I believe avoidance and protecting oneself is the ultimate answer---however, we cannot gloss over what it really takes to REACH this place of knowing what TO avoid.  It is living it, sometimes over and over again until all of the puzzle pieces of this "principle of avoidance" form an undeniable, tangible picture.  You can SEE only as far as you KNOW and what lay proven before your very eyes.

The subject that I've been deliberating very long and hard about posting is very sticky, very personal, and somewhat spiritually volatile, but as I reflect, I begin to see how this phenomenon has followed me throughout my life from it's very beginnings.  I realize that my exposure to this psychological/spiritual archetype had even caused me to "join the ranks" temporarily as I (and here is the irony) searched for an escape FROM it. This period began at about the age of 13 and pretty much consistently lasted until I was around 16.  From this point, there were spotty re-visits here and there--though these spotty ones were evoked from somewhere underneath me, were involuntary, and came to back to life....yeah, you guessed it...in a percieved defense against it.

The archetype of which I speak is that of the menacing spirit--the spirit of the bored, restless, self-absorbed, and superior.  The typical behavior of the menace is looked upon so superficially, as if it is part of one's personality, or the result of a somehow flawed upbringing, but it really isn't focused upon any further than an object of "blame" for it.  Even the one behaving in such a way doesn't believe they are doing anything to "hurt" anyone else--as their mind is fixed on self-promotion.  Either way, people are used, abused, mistreated, manipulated, lied to, lied about...because (in my case) there is such spiritual injury the only escape is through the EGO--and it is not really an escape...it is more of a "turning the tables to reflect BACK what is projected onto me" or fighting fire with fire.  Yet another irony.  Around and around and around we go!  It is a game of "nobody wins"...a battle of wills and intelligence---enter into the realm of spiritual warfare.

I jumped off of that turn-table years ago because something inside of me was MORE discomforted by joining the ranks than it was before I joined them.  There was this pang of guilt that always struck me and a feeling of self-imprisonment that always resulted.  Deep inside, I knew there was a better way of treating people and a better way of being treated by them.  I can say with very much certainty that I have found it---though it has not been an easy ride.  Along my journey, I've developed an inner technique which I term ORRA..which is an acronym for Observe, Recollect, Recognize, and Apply.  It is where I "consider all things."  These very principles have been responsible for sharpening my intuition to close to pinpoint accuracy and the decision to use this gift solely for good was indeed, my ticket to freedom, BUT... I would be denied full use of it until I completely understood its value.

I really had to take a huge step back to discover that I had PLACED myself at the mercy of the menace and as I have since adopted the firm belief (which I have narrowed down from a LOT of beliefs that I have now flushed down the toilet)...that everything is exactly as it should be at THIS moment.   Since this acceptance, I have worked tirelessly on the intricate art of "letting go" and in this, I have found that the very difficult, self-sabotaging journey I've sometimes found myself traveling was meant to be--for my own good.  I now have peace--REAL peace and it has nothing to do with anyone or anything outside of myself, and I am never lonely, because I now know that I am never alone.

I was led to the very difficult question of why then, after feeling the mental and emotional discomfort of becoming one of the menacing society, and understanding within myself that it was wrong and there was a better way,  would I somehow always find myself in the intimate company of it---always struggling to understand, stand my ground, trying to see something other than what I KNEW I was experiencing.  Why all of the denial, trying to heal, fix, and mend something that does not WANT to be healed or mended (because quite frankly, there are those who check out the trial membership and decide it isn't for them...and there are those who are lifers).   The answer is...my own well-being, my journey to now, my understanding of true peace, tranquility, and abundance.  There IS no recognition or appreciation of peace without first experiencing chaos---it is all about the experience, and continued experience eventually leads to mastery--of which I have had my share to be sure as I have lived both sides of this fence...never-mind straddling it.  But now, I have had ENOUGH.  I've come to the application part of this lifelong lesson, which leads me here to you to talk of things that really need to be brought from out from under that rug of which we sweep it out of fear.  This is a very REAL and spiritually-detrimental issue and those who suffer it deserve the validation that they are NOT crazy, they are NOT insufficient, they are NOT responsible for the happiness, joy, or any provision whatsoever of this menacing spirit's demand.  They are not the convenient object of another's appearances, attention, success (or lack thereof), or responsible to cover anyone else's emotional and/or empathetic insufficiency.  The mask the menace wears is of its own making...and to adorn it with your integrity does nothing more than further insure its impenetrability.

Recognizing the menace:


You will FEEL the nature of this spirit right down to the air you breathe, the change in tone of the atmosphere, and a nagging feeling of anxiety and downright physical infirmary.  You will experience the nature of it in your twisted thoughts, your constant confusion..your life of "it's always something"--"what next" and the eggshell nature of what should be a peaceful stroll through what is supposed to be your sanctuary.  Your body feels sore, you're mentally exhausted, and a sick and wrought-out feeling consumes your gut and leaves it feeling twisted into knots.    The vibe is always defensive and threatening.  The mind is always fixed and at the ready for the next " problem to solve", the next "hurdle to jump" the next "expectation to fulfill" in order to live what used to be your peaceful life.  As you search for restoration, you begin to feel obligated to entertain the lie, make sense of it, or excuse it, and when you cannot find a rational explanation through reason nor a place of balance, you begin to self-blame.  This is what that voice sounds like:  "I am not attractive enough, I am not attentive enough, I am not smart enough, I am not GOOD enough, I am too sensitive, too critical" and finally...when it has reached its peak of destruction..."what did I ever do to deserve all of THIS and how the hell did I get HERE...I'm tired, I'm unhappy, I'm restless, I'm zapped of my strength."  You find that the whole of your entire existence is one of searching to find the ULTIMATE stop to it all...the ONE PERMANENT solution to the constant cascade of seemingly "fragmented" problems.  You find that any true love you once experienced now feels obligatory and forced--JUST to keep some semblance of peace--though it is a very futile attempt.  But now, out of sheer exhaustion,  the weight of all of the dismissal of what is really happening just to find that "peaceful place" begins to crush your spirit.  As you sell out, you can feel yourself in its grip and under its control.  You are now playing right into the hand of the menace...it wants guilt, shame, and embarrassment to lord over your life (and your decreased mental acuity and emotional over-reactivity doesn't hurt neither).  You ultimately find that you have traded all of the beauty of who you are and what you thought you were on your way to becoming in for just a mere deep breath of fresh air, a normal heart rate, and one single thought--instead of the racing nature of  the jumbled mess of them bumping into each other around and around the track of incessant confusion.  It is all a very insidious plan diabolically designed to be completely reliant upon another's nature to see the good and live in peace, that we fulfill so perfectly for this menacing spirit.  Our attention is taken off of ourselves (the selfless nature of another is a very KEY component to the pervasive nature of this spirit) and kept busy with useless attempts of reasoning where there is none...to the point of utter exasperation where we find our only purpose becomes that of wasting ALL of the energy we would normally put into our true purpose to be over-abundantly attentive to untangling the problems created in it by the menace.  It becomes a life of to-and-fro, up-in-the-air, nothing solved, one thing leading to another, and absolutely no sense can ever be made of it.  It is ALL ON---ALL THE TIME, and I'm very sorry to say...there is NEVER any end and absolutely no closure.  This spirit never finishes ANYTHING, ever. That would be too natural a series of events...it wants you to always wonder and clutter your mind with ideals, that I promise you, will never materialize.

There is no middle-ground.  There is no understanding it beyond knowing that "something is very wrong here and nothing is right."  You unwittingly become an opponent in a game of covert control that you unfortunately don't realize until it has been played out so many times that finally...specific patterns begin to emerge.  I've seen many break out that white flag in this war as their weakness begins to suffocate their will.  My plea is that you understand this:  To completely succumb is to worship that which seeks to destroy, that which holds in complete contempt the fact that anyone has their own mind, their own heart, their own dreams, their own life to live, and purpose to fulfill.  You become nothing but a minion to the ultimate power that overthrows your reasoning leading you into a life of total and complete dependency (which you now perceive to be love and acceptance) of the one who "drives" you...and here is the TRUTH of the matter...THAT is NOT love.    There is never enough admiration, adoration, and attention that you can give this spirit--you will ALWAYS fall short of "pleasing" it.  Through the reading of the patterns that eventually become obvious, you begin to realize that this spirit has minions everywhere it travels and YOU are no different at all--just one of a legion who are being sucked dry of their love, patience, peace, trust, independence, and ultimately---your soul.  It has a very enticing nature, this spirit.  It makes you prize  IT more than you prize yourself.  But beware, destruction lies in wait right around the corner.  It connives and convinces, dangles your dreams before your eyes (because it makes a point of paying very close attention to them), it even materializes some of them...but the price you ultimately pay makes you hate yourself for EVER dreaming to begin with.  It steals your hope, ravages your faith, and takes full advantage of your vulnerability. It begins to deteriorate your integrity and twist your sense of self-worth to complete degradation.  And if and when you do get out with any tiny bit of yourself left intact, the aloneness you feel is crucifying--dangling from a cross in the middle of nowhere that hatred hoisted you up on, being spat upon, whipped, and the demeaning remarks that are hurled at you are so loud, they become deafening.  You look around in an effort to see your accusers but what you find is the scariest thing of all....these assaults are coming from the only one who is there...YOU.  And so you hang there--alone, afraid, bewildered, confused, with no strength left and you ask yourself WHY?  And the only answer you can reason is "because I  loved."  Though with your last dying breath, you muster up the strength to whimper...... "IT IS FINISHED!"

ENTER PEACE


"Better to die ten-thousand deaths than to wound my honor."~Joseph Addison.

LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, and SELF PRESERVATION.  Three key investments to peace.  This IS the cherry on that happy-ending sundae.

And this is how it begins:  Building upon this love with the complete acceptance that the past could not have been any different--no matter how many precious moments of your life you've devoted to wanting to believe it to be so, and so you  remove yourself from it.  What unfolds is the truth that love DOES conquer all.  You begin to understand that you were easily deceived because of your nature to believe in GOOD--not because you are stupid, not because you are less, and not because you deserve it.  Speaking in terms of my run-ins with this phenomenon, it was never my decision, my intent, nor my wish to have things transpire in my life as they did--it was the end-result of another's intent.  I loved, I trusted, I gave--through all of it.  I tried--and in this, there is no shame.  It really didn't change the REAL me at all--it did; however, change my perspective.    The lesson I ultimately learned from my journey thus far is this...  I know now to guard my heart--which is my treasure.  This menacing spirit didn't follow me around my entire life for no reason and it didn't grow larger and more difficult to resist and walk away from for no reason.  It was to teach me to keep the deepest part of me for myself..and to hold it sacred and untouchable to the outside world.  This is the part of me that belongs to creation.  It is my secret, my very own piece of heaven.  Wolves will always come disguised in sheep's clothing and also under the guise of societally-respected titles.  Since this revelation, I have recognized quite a few of them BEFORE they got too close.  I've learned that all I need is ME and rediscovered the wholeness, the wellness, and not only the possibility-- but the propensity toward greatness I, MYSELF encapsulate from the force that guides me.  I've turned all of the twisted thoughts straight.  I've turned my attention to those things that truly need and are deserving of my attention..and in turn, the universe has literally helped me along the way without any effort on my part whatsoever.  I am learning the value of distance and  practicing silence and listening and I have become abundantly rewarded for the efforts I have exercised in the right places..."in that space between the thoughts."~Deepak Chopra.  This IS a real place.

THE REVELATION THAT LEADS TO PEACE:


Be wary of anyone who claims to love you, care for and about you whose words and actions are contradictory, those who deploy guilt tactics for your attention, attempts made to lead you to feel somehow responsible for their unhappiness, loneliness, or misunderstood nature--or your inability to forgive.  This is always a sign you are dealing with a force to be reckoned with.  People can "tell" you who they are until they are blue in the face...they can speak of their deepest beliefs and the things they hold sacred--shit-- words are free to anyone who cares to use them--and they are given away so effortlessly...but the ACTION that transpires is the most telling of their true nature and more importantly, their intent.  The action is their OWNERSHIP or lack thereof of those words.  ("To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure.  In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted.  They claim to know God, but by their actions, they deny him.  They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good."~Titus 1:15-16).   So, the first time their words become meaningless by their deed...RUN.  Don't stick around, don't wait for hard evidence, don't ponder it another MINUTE.  And from that point on, don't give it another second of your attention ("..having a form of Godliness, but denying its power.  Have nothing to do with them."~2 Timothy 3:5).  Place your energies instead into a worthy cause---one that lifts you and others up, inspires you to be better, stronger, and  wiser.  These energies will guide and keep you.  The opposing energies will FORCE it out of you at the very desperate point of saving your own soul.  Take a step back away from your mind (as this is the menace's playground)...feel and listen to the sensations in your body..what are they telling you.  Do they bring a peaceful feeling or one overwrought with anxiety and unease?

In closing...as it is my mission to assign a meaningful lesson to each of my life's experiences and it is my commission to share what I've learned with others, I felt it pertinent to bring to light...the darkness.  It is a propensity we all have.  It is a drive we all experience--it has a very luring quality that engages the flow of adrenaline, inspires a temptation to seek the forbidden, the unknown, the challenge.  However, upon the spectrum of light, there is none so bright as grace...which also brings with it elements of the unknown and challenge, yet in this expenditure of energy, results are always guided towards overall well-being.  There is no time called "wasted" time...there is only a time for everything UNDER heaven.  Once you enter peace...time is of no consequence.

My wish is for all to be safe from harm and for everyone to live in the grace that is freely given.  My hope is that  your curiosity not lead you to a place where your power is completely dependent upon your own futile effort-- but that you understand and accept that all is exactly the way it is supposed to be and apply boundary in the matter of self-preservation.  Allow your path to unfold the way nature intends so that you may feel the abundant giving nature of the universe with the least amount of your effort.   When you achieve these things, you will begin to feel the natural state of "give and it will be given" and know without a doubt that any provision was indeed, meant to be.

"Perfection of means and confusion of aims seems to characterize our age."~Albert Einstein.

Be mindful that those who are hurting hurt, those who confuse you are confused, those who make you afraid are afraid themselves, those who lie to you first lie to themselves, and those who wish to destroy have already been destroyed.....and it is this spirit that needs to be broken...not the heart.  Seek not to do more damage by fighting with it...but instead...remember that somewhere deep inside, there is a point of refuge that only the tormented themselves can locate.   No matter your spiritual maturity, no matter your concern, no matter what YOU can plainly see underneath this spirit of dissension...unless YOU are the one it is living through and sabotaging,...you have no power to disarm it.  It has to turn against itself.  This is why it is best to ignore, avoid, and turn away because it doesn't recognize real concern and love ...but only how to use them to increase its power over them.  The more you attend it, the hotter it burns.  The difference between peace and boredom, capitalization and true entitlement, surrender and defense, self-fulfillment and self-sabotage need to be experienced FIRST by the one who is being overcome by such torment.  This spirit trusts no one, so there is NOTHING anyone else can do...but LOVE from a distance.

RainaMay.