Goodbye 2013

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Well, 2013 came in promising prosperity, bringing with it a beautiful symphony of sound, shining like a diamond, carrying that aromatic bundle of roses, and looking SO enticing.  It seemed to have crossed all the T's and dotted all of those I's.  It WAS the perfect package--or so I thought.  Maybe it wasn't the year's fault at all..maybe..and it probably never is.  Maybe there are mistakes I tend to repeat for reasons I'm just not quite clear about and life brings scenarios into my life to give me "another chance to get it right" and I just unwittingly usher it to the crapper all on my own.  I'm thinking that this is a more truthful assessment.

Truth be told, the last few weeks of the year were REALLY good as far as gaining perspective and a more open-eyed, open-hearted approach to my life.  I've gazed into my misconceptions and deepened my understanding of their origination and was quite surprised at how ingrained some of my attitudes were and how "set in my ways" I had become in certain areas of my life.  These were indeed my stumbling blocks for me in 2013 (if I were to LIMIT it to a specific span of time).  The trouble with this type of rigidity is that it permeates deeply without our conscious awareness...it is just habitual..and truly, there is SO much of this conditioned response to events in life that we have to REALLY choke down a HUGE dose of self-honesty and very intricate examination to even discover them.  

For instance, I have a very hard time "taking credit" for "good" things that others believe I do.  I have these words in quotations for a reason.  These are examples of unconscious conditioned reaction and response.  If it is true (and it is) that what others think of you is none of your business...then why do we feel the need to impose this on or attain this from others--(and I know a bunch of you would probably think that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with complimenting, encouraging, or highlighting someone's accomplishments and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with receiving this type of compliment)...and maybe there isn't, however, it is just an example of how we are conditioned to POINT out to people the good, the bad, the indifferent effect they have had upon us and we in turn begin to just unconsciously say "thank you" or "kiss my ass" without really even thinking twice.  When I was younger, I LOVED this recognition, craved it, and probably did things JUST to get it <---this is the problem..all of the wrong reasons.  Now, it is discomforting to me and I will tell you why.  Because my actions are no longer attached to anyone else's approval or disapproval.  They are simply "because"...because why?  THIS is my point.  The reason behind any of my actions gets lost and this is what is MOST important to me.  What I DO is UNIMPORTANT in and of itself---the meaning of anything I do is in the reason why I do it...and that I cannot take credit for because it comes from a prompt, a tug, a push and I find that I cannot ignore because it just won't leave me alone until I DO something.  It is honestly like something else drives me...so taking credit feels out of place to me.  I've had people say..."you have worked hard, you have achieved this or that...there is no shame in being proud of yourself" for whatever it is that is seen by others as a "good" thing.  The truth is, I am proud of myself...but for reasons that go completely unnoticed by others.  I am proud that I was blessed with a CONSCIENCE that completely rules my ENTIRE life-- my actions, my inaction, my thought life, my creativity, my work ethic, any philanthropic endeavors, anything GOOD that I ever do is credited to this mysterious God .  It rules and that lords over me.  I am led...and when I follow, I am proud of myself--because a lot of times, where I am led and what I am led to do are not places or things that are the most comfortable or easy.  No one is ever taught how to "get a conscience"..and as technologically advanced as science has become, NO ONE can locate it, operate on it, or even understand how it works.  It is what I believe to be something SO supernatural and so above any human capacity for intellect to even fathom.  We teach and learn to "be polite"--"encourage positive action"--and then we learn that positive feedback of our actions brings us attention/adoration.  Attention can become an addiction---a VERY malevolent addiction.  It can and HAS created monsters.  There is nothing overtly wrong with attention--it is nice to know that you are looked upon favorably and that others are comfortable in your company...we are, after all human beings who NEED this type of intimate connectivity to one another, as long as it doesn't over-rule or replace the "master."  It is nothing more than a "perk" in life...it isn't the driving force behind our nature.  AND this is what I wish more people would understand.  Don't be impressed by what I do...but wonder why I do it--where it comes from--I am concerned more that people find this same commanding drive within themselves and relate to it than I am of being any example for others to follow.  This is the true point of connectivity between us.  Simple rule:  KNOW it in you...SEE it in others.  Our words, our actions, our accomplishments should sooner inspire action than collect praise.

Below are the lessons I finally GOT during 2013...though they took my entire lifetime to learn.

OPPORTUNITY

I have been led to truly understand that there are "true" and "false" opportunities all around me.  I never really realized this before...I just figured an opportunity is an opportunity...and all opportunity is GREAT!!  Not the case...not the case at all.

True and False Opportunity: There is a difference between TRUE opportunities and FALSE opportunities...just as there are true and false prophets, hmmm...do you suppose there is a deeper hidden truth to this spiritual principle?  Get your headgear on...here goes:  Any opportunity that is going to be of any benefit to the goal we set for a desire we have to meet our destiny will follow a specific ORDER (trademark of truth).  Most times,  opportunities that are in line with our goal are SOUGHT in keeping with this order.  A true opportunity will only show itself AFTER the pinnacle has been reached in your mind's eye and your intention to reach it has been SET.  In other words....all of the fine details of an eventual success have been considered and you realize that all of the pieces have to be there IN A CERTAIN ORDER to complete the finished product.  A False opportunity comes out of nowhere and is dropped upon you (which is its MO).  The piece fits into the bigger picture, but it is somewhat out of progression.  (Using the analogy of a puzzle...it is that piece that you know goes "somewhere in the middle" because you already have the edges done--so it just hangs out all by itself until you can fit some other pieces in AROUND it.)  It will com easy, without being sought, and it will feel "too good to be true, and this is why these "false" opportunities are SO VERY enticing and leading.  The cautionary tale in this is that a false opportunity will turn up during a time of desperation and within a mindset of lack in a  VERY exclusive area of the big picture and your life--and yet, it is an out-of-place fragment.  If you find yourself neck-deep in a situation where you  are now  "re-creating" your entire vision from the point of jumping upon this opportunity.....STOP!!!  It will derail your life, your mission in life, and your "first love", which was your goal BEFORE you became distracted and derailed. In the end, the promise of this relief of  "one less worry" will have you struggling to see the light of day, let alone the vision you had for your life.  It may look like it belongs...but if it comes too easy or out of order, be advised that you are dealing with a force to be reckoned with.  Trust me.

"Little children, you are from God and have overcome them (false prophets) for he who is IN YOU (your conscience) is greater than he who is in the world (Ego).  They are from the world, therefore, they speak from the world and the world listens to them."  Listen to your conscience...it can't get any clearer than that.  This excerpt serves to transition the above with what you will read below.


The Role of the Prophet in Opportunity
 Prophesy merely means "prediction of the future" and the prophet is merely the "messenger" of this prediction.  The inner prophet and its message are two essential elements of every opportunity, every dream, every goal we will ever set.  A false prophet (or opportunity) will come with an easier, faster, smoother transition, and fulfill an immediate desperate attempt to "fix" something, or  fill a place of lack.  Most people jump on these opportunities because they are desperate to have just ONE THING LESS to worry about. The reality; however, is that you will inevitably see problems crop up in another or many other "unconsidered" areas of your life and/or the journey to your goal.  This one "leap of faith" can leave you fighting to regain the any semblance of the order in which you set out to accomplish your goal in the first place .  So when opportunity comes a'knockin...do not invite it in UNLESS it brings with it the entire view you have seen from the pinnacle--your prophesy.  If you have not invited it by your very own intention, action of some sort in that direction, or immense desire to "see its ENTIRETY come to fruition"...let it go--say thanks anyways..but this is really NOT where my life is going right now--maybe some other time...lol.  There is a reason we have the talents, the gifts, and the desires we have...they contain our destiny.  There is a reason that certain things are VERY important to us, while others lack such importance...they are our inner guide to that destiny and this priority factor outlines the "order of fulfillment."  Do Not Stray From That Order.  Don't sell out for a quick fix in one area of your life, because you you tire of being patient or you become discouraged.  You will find that it has led you into a place you NEVER envisioned being and you will be held against your will struggling to just "make the best of the CIRCUMSTANCE" by patterning your entire life around it.   To be aware of all of the potentials is to be wise, to be fixated upon one or any is to be self-sabotaging.  Be wise...be cautious...be TRUE to yourself and your inner prophet.  Stand firm..don't be tempted and swayed--not matter how bad things appear.

Every Moment of Consciousness is an Opportunity to Learn about Ourselves .  
Every person you stumble across in your life or shows up in yours are TEACHERS.  Our mothers, fathers, siblings, friends, enemies, the homeless, the rich, the powerful, and inept, the challenged..people in your life, and those you just observe from afar....ALL OF THEM ARE TEACHERS...they do not belong to you..you do not belong to them.  They have a message to send you about YOU.  They are there to inspire you in one way or another.  They spur you, they deter you, they challenge you, they love you, they encourage you, they destroy you.  The only common thing in YOUR relationship (whichever form it takes) with other people is YOU.  Remember this.  Do you casually stroll by a poor and homeless person begging for change because of your preconceived notion of how they got there, why they are there, and why YOU think they should or shouldn't BE THERE?  Maybe they are there to teach you humility.  Do you see the infirm and immediately think..."thank God that isn't me"?  Maybe they are there to show you that infirmary is indiscriminate and this may indeed BE you someday and that good health is the most reverent blessing one has and you should be grateful for yours and compassionate to those who are not as fortunate.

What I am trying to say here is this:  Our compass for finding our way around in life is set from the vantage point of  "ME"...thank God that is not me, that will NEVER be me, I would NEVER do something like that, how can he/she do something like that...it is not in ME...we understand others from our only foundation of understanding...OURSELVES...so yes, everyone IS indeed EVERYONE...and everyone contains a tiny piece of YOUR truth--as if they are carrying with them a mirror.  It is not for me to judge...it is for me to observe, study, and LEARN about myself--what feelings do the perceived unfortunate circumstances of others stir in me?  Compassion, love, acceptance...anger, hostility, disregard, disdain?  And how are these thoughts and feelings materialized?  Through ATTITUDES, notions, and intentions.  The ego points and laughs and bullies...the spirit empathizes and sees that person as itself and learns something about itself through its observation.

Do Not Obsess about Getting There.
An attitude or "belief system" is either toxic or healthy.  THAT IS IT.  There is no in-between.  The most consistent way we sabotage our own well-being is through a fragmented, piecemeal, scattered set of rigid attitudes or beliefs.  One bad apple...you could have the best of intentions...and find that you are in way worse condition than you were before you initiated a "means to an end".  I've learned to STOP dwelling on the end result of everything.  What I do is the BEST I CAN in everything now...and then, there is no guilt, no regret, and nothing I could have done differently.  The result will take care of itself and then, I will deal with that as it comes.  I have no way of predicting what will happen not even ONE MINUTE from now, and I have no way of determining whether or not history will repeat itself.  The past and the future are NOTHING but thoughts.  We don't go to bed each night worrying about whether we are going to wake up the next day, do we?  The funny thing about that is....maybe we really should.  Maybe we should just focus on "THIS MOMENT" and getting the most out of it...doing the best we can with it...being as proactive and productive as time allows and go to bed thinking...if I don't wake up tomorrow, today has been taken care of.  With anything we take for granted...there is WASTE, sloth, and indifference.  <---these are toxic---and so is the attitude that you are in charge of everything and everyone around you...and that you can somehow manipulate time and space...people and things to comply with your wishes and YOUR fixation upon how things SHOULD ultimately turn out--and this is what leads to disappointment, disillusionment, and a mindset of dependence.  The only thing we can control is ourselves, our atmosphere, our actions, and our attitude <--this is healthy.   We need to stop always trying to "get" something and just be open enough to receive what is--because there is a reason for it.  I've found that the healthiest attitude to take on is...whatever will be will be...and it is what it is--and then I focus my attention toward finding that seed of opportunity within that moment--and I've discovered there are MANY.

True Dat!!
God is Love/Love is God/...What is Love/What is God..This has been a recurring subject with me...though I believe it to be true, the fact that I keep coming back to this is a signal to me that there was something in it that I wasn't getting.

What I DO know is this:  LOVE is a state of being...it is not an emotion.  It is not exclusive to relationships of any sort.  There is NOTHING missing from it.. and more importantly...and this is what I think I was stuck on...It can NEVER be added to.  Love is found and defined by SELF REALIZATION...the ultimate...last chapter...REVELATION <---which ACTUALLY means "a dramatic disclosure of something not previously known or REALIZED", (and you see, I have emphasized this in as many ways available to me in print because it is the epitome of my point)  In addition, because I am going in this direction with this, in theological terms, its meaning is "a manifestation of divine will or truth."  So in essence, this means "I have discovered AND witnessed the divine truth about ME."   Our "holy war or Armageddon" is nothing more than the hell we find ourselves in as we are embarking upon this truth.  It is our OWN personal battle to come full circle--to deprogram ourselves from societal meme and dogma...which is EVERYONE's hell and it is NOT an easy feat.

The greatest realization of this realization is this:  Once you KNOW and live the truth of who you are and what you are made of and WHY you do the things you do, you can see the truth in everything and yourself in everyone.   Patterns become more recognizable, vibrations begin to become tangible things, and you begin to see that your thoughts are indeed "all powerful."  You begin to see that you are completely in charge of your reality, your prosperity, your dreams, your circumstances.  You are a creator, he is a creator, she is a creator...we are all creators...and yet..."I AM WHO I AM."  <--isn't this the response given to Moses by God upon his inquiry of "who shall I tell them sent me?"  'Once you start believing this...really, really believing it...and not using it as an excuse to limit yourself or an object of blame because of this self-imposed limitation, and you fully REALIZE your highest potential and you can see it materialize before you prior to its actual manifestation, and you can take a moment to relish in that feeling of completion...you will find that it will indeed materialize.  Conversely, if you believe you are damned, you have the "worst luck", nothing can every go right for you, everyone has it out for you...etc...THAT WILL HAPPEN as well.  The quote "If you think you can, or you think you can't....you're right." by Henry Ford really reveals a rather simplistic, yet profound truth.  You are the receiver of your own attitudes and intentions.  The universe or "God" only knows GIVING and deliverance.  Your desires, your thoughts, your intentions, your attitudes, and your beliefs are the conduit for all that manifests in your life.  Whatever you throw out there, comes right back to you--good or not-so-good.  You will find God in the beginning of anything (desire/intention) and you will see God in the fulfillment and materialization of that desire and intention--this is where God lives.  If you are on the right track, you will be rewarded, if you're not, you will be SCHOOLED and redirected, though you have to really understand that ALL that materializes is of your very own intention and if you don't like it, you may wanna check yourself.  If you automatically blame the circumstance, the others, the time, the place, or whatever, you are not learning ANYTHING.   Once you begin to open your eyes to this truth..you will see it in action.   NO ONE or NOTHING can take anything way or add anything to you....you are WHOLE without any compromise whatsoever--  Compromise becomes relevant to situation and circumstance ONLY.  When you fully accept and regard the truth of who you are and pattern your life around that, the events of life lose their power to define you, while you gain all the more power to REFINE you.

Lastly...we come into this world as one, self-contained being...we leave this world in the same manner....however, while we live and breath, exchanging the same oxygen and carbon dioxide--biologically made of the very same substances as the the cosmos,  the earth, and everything that roams here and grows there...we begin to see what an integral part of this vast support system we really are and that what we breath out, someone/something else breathes in..and vice versa...what we offer, we receive.  I would suppose that the sum total of all things exchanged by all things--the ebb and flow of life that we all intrinsically share would have to be God...therefore lending creed to "Alpha/Omega, Omnipresent/Omniscient.  And since God is LOVE...it all stands to reason.

"It does not matter how long much time you are spending on this earth, how much money you have gathered, or how much attention you have received.  It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters."~Amit Ray

"Creative scientists and saints expect revelation and do not fear it.  Neither do children.  But as we grow up and are hurt, we have learned not to trust."  Madeleine L'Engel.

"And when I wake up it's wonderful, like I've been carried quietly onto a calm and peaceful shore, and the dream and its meaning has broken over me like a wave and is ebbing away now, leaving me with a single, solid certainty.  I know now."~Lauren Oliver.

"It is more important to be of pure intention than it is to be of perfect action."~Ilyas Kassam.

And finally.... "Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives.  The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets.  Judge not by their words but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results.  Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you.  Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience."~Anthon St

My message....live in awareness, curb the fixation.  Do follow your dreams, Don't get sidetracked.  Give until it hurts...it will be multiplied to you.  I'm feeling completely blessed and powerful going into this new year.  I've already experienced many instances of synchronicity and I now know that I am on my way...again. ;)

Love and Light to All..

Commitment

Hey everyone!!  Hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday.  The outside here may be a bit rainy, windy, and dark...but the inside is bright, warm, and calm!!

Wanted to stop in and hit on a topic that seems to be a misunderstood or lightly-taken concept.  Few people really know what the word commitment means..OR they focus on maybe half of the definition and remain oblivious to what it means as a whole.

Commitment defined:
1.  the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.  dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity.

2.  an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action--responsibility, obligation, duty, tie, liability.

So one defining part of commitment is a PROMISE while the other is a TASK.  Sadly, promises are easily broken and "tasks" are just too much like work...and most people look for the biggest benefit for the smallest contribution.  I mean, who wouldn't?  Maybe ...the people who make promises to themselves FIRST. A real promise is not easily kept..but if it is made first to myself, then it makes it a LOT tougher to break.  In its complete state, commitment is dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, and fidelity TO responsibility, obligation, duty tie, and liability.  On the flip side...it is ALSO responsibility, obligation, duty TO dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty.......well, you get my point.  So in essence, true commitment is not one or the other definition but BOTH as ONE.  Commitment IS the promise of the action and the action of the promise.

So why do so many people obligate themselves to such extremes when they really don't understand the depth of what it really means to do so?  Why would one "LOCK" themselves up, restrict their FREEDOM and willingly take on all of this responsibility?  The simple answer would be because they want to and though the reasons they want to may vary widely...here are some right off the top of my head that are probably considerations:
1).  There is some sort of temporary benefit in it for them.
2).  They are attempting to create an image for themselves that coincides with commitment they make.
3)   They are attempting to gain the trust of others by means of an attempt to fulfill a promise.

The more involved answer would probably play out more like this:
1).  Being able to trust themselves enough to follow through is important to them.
2).  Deciding that the overall benefit far outweighs any real or perceived restriction, delay, or discomfort in achieving it.
3).  Their mindset is simply to make decisions that are in line with who they are.

You see, a commitment is NOT a temporary thing and it really has nothing to do with comfort but rather speaks justly to the content of one's character.  When we are young, we all dabble in this "commitment" thingy...and most times, we do it for all of the wrong reasons...insecurity, a need for acceptance, a need to be needed, wanted..etc.  We have a picture in our heads of how we want our life to be and we end up filling it in with all of the wrong colors and shading..until we cannot even see the original anymore, let alone decipher from which direction the light may be entering when the shadows being cast seem to be all over the place.  Though, as we mature and make a few life-altering mistakes, we begin to see that making promises just for the sake of a pretty picture isn't the purpose for them at all.

You know you have the correct, concise, and true picture of commitment when:
1)  You have the opportunity to get something that you want so badly, but are aware enough to know that it is just another pretty package "beginning" that has "going nowhere" written on the card.
2)  You voluntarily (yet sometimes begrudgingly) limit your freedom to do what you want to do NOW for the sake of what is best for you in the long run.
3).  Your will is to FINISH everything that you begin or DIE TRYING.
4).  You become attuned to your strengths and weaknesses, and begin to view imposed limitation and challenge as an exercise in determination, courage, and opportunity to learn, transcend, and succeed.

And lastly....when your goal is to completely trust, love, and embrace yourself as you are---when it is important to you that all that is around you or what you leave behind is a reflection of what is inside of you---when you carry with you no guilt, no shame, and no loose ends that you "wish" you'd have taken better care to tie up---when you take care to make sure that no one else suffers the consequences of your unwillingness to follow-through or shoulders any of the responsibility of your inability to do so.

Important note..there is no escaping the truth...it goes with us wherever we go and we ALWAYS return to it, so it is best NOT to make promises we know we have no intention of keeping...because it is within our intention--the seed of our deepest desires that eventually blooms into the life we either live up to or attempt to live down.  And truth...is no respecter of even the most inventive verbal utterings of a highly imaginative mind...so best to save the words--as what surrounds you and what you leave behind IS your mirror.  Reflection wins every time.

The value of the promises that we make (and not just the promises themselves) are the BEGINNING and the END of who we are.

"We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to die for it."~  Ernesto Guevara.

"Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose--and commit myself to what is best for me."~Paulo Coelho.

"If you build the guts to do something--anything--then you better save enough to face the consequences."~Criss Jami.

"There is a difference between interest and commitment.  When you are interested in something, you do it only when it is convenient.  When you are committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."~Kenneth H. Blanchard.

"Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it and it is very hard for people to stop you."~Bill Cosby.

And finally.."The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one.  Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt, but in spite of doubt."~Rollo May

Sitting exactly where you are now and taking a look back at the decisions that led you here is the only way you will find out exactly what it is you are committed to.  Everyone is committed to something...whether it is healthy or unhealthy is determined by the nature of the challenge.  Is it that of  YOUR OWN resolve or the resolve of others?

And that's all folks!!!

Be Inspired

Good morning and hello to everyone.

I have SO many posts saved away in draft that I fully intended to publish..and then went "eh, maybe not."  So I am trying my hand at it again today...hope this one actually has a point!  I will begin today by saying that it amazes me how many things I interpret backwards...and how actually exciting it is when this epiphany hits.  You would think that I would be all hard on myself for perceiving something the entirely wrong way for such a long time...only to discover...well..you get my point.  This is when you know there is divine intervention at play...there will be some irony in the mix.

A COMMON BOND BETWEEN INTUITION--INSPIRATION--CREATIVITY
I've always had these little instances of  moments of high intuition...where I would just instinctively KNOW things...and I would just quell any creative pursuits until these moments would arrive and then I would feel and ultimately BE more creative.  It would be these fleeting moments in time where I would feel most inspired.  HOWEVER...lately, I have had to force creativity upon myself...I have had to think creatively and then force myself to pursue it as more of a possible means to an end rather than waiting on inspiration to lead me.  I've had to tap into my potential...rather than waiting for my potential tap into me.--understand?

Oh, the things we believe about ourselves (or should I say deceive ourselves into believing).  What I have discovered is that ACTION is what gives birth to inspiration--whether it is our very own action or the actions of another.  Our potential is an  endless vat of possibility and opportunity.  We don't need to be at all inspired to tap into it...sometimes, we just gotta do what we gotta do.  We all pretty much know our own capabilities, propensities, and strengths.  We just have to force ourselves sometimes to grab ahold of  them when we are feeling TOTALLY uninspired, unmotivated, and unmoved to do so.  What I discovered was that familiar feeling of KNOWING--my mind's eye shifting--and inspiration beginning to flood the plain.  And because I always thought that these were just "seasons" that came and went without any comprehension or understanding of where, why, and how they arrived and left, I cannot recall specific actions on my part in the past that would have opened this flood gate..but I guess I kinda KNOW now that there had to have been.

So my friends...I offer you this tidbit of info.  It was a very eye-opening experience for me.  Don't wait to be inspired...just MOVE in it...it will catch up to you, I promise!!

Regards..

0:36--1:57....And it doesn't get much better than this....

The Woodwork

Hello everyone!!

It is a beautiful Sunday morning (all Sunday mornings are beautiful, by the way).  I don't get on here as much as I would like, but I've had some rather unruly and mentally-draining business to take care of....which still isn't quite taken care of yet, but in the works.

During this time, I've come up with some material...imagine that!!  Woodwork......that "how come no one told me this BEFORE" syndrome.  It seems that the woodwork is always hiding people with specific knowledge that would be pertinent to saving you from doing something totally ignorant, but it only lets them out AFTER you're neck-deep in chaos and drama.  What's up with that???

Here's my philosophy...the woodwork is the keeper of the skeletons.  The skeletons, however, believe they are in control and can come out whenever they see fit....however, the woodwork has a way of opening up and exposing them BEFORE they know what hit them--but this only seems to happen after a tragedy COULD have been averted.  I guess we don't ever go looking for these skeletons...I think it is most people's nature to take someone's word for who they are...I mean, they know themselves better than anyone else...but maybe, the woodwork lays wide open the entire time, and we just choose to believe these bony beings are not there in favor of trust that they are not.

Everyone has things from their past that they are not proud of...decisions we've made, things we've done...bad choices.  If we understand they were mistakes, and we acknowledge we are NOT what we do or what we have done, and we make sure not to repeat these embarrassing little acts or hastened choices...then we tend to leave them where they were or we may even talk about them in jest....because acceptance of them really makes them somewhat of a past frivolity and the making of the better person we are today.  Sometimes, when I bring to the surface of a conversation some of the things I had done--because I really have no shame...people cannot believe that I would do such a thing...or they cannot imagine me being in that place at that time doing what I was doing!!  This is what lets ya know that you are not that person...the people who know you now, who see you daily...these are NOT skeletons.

Skeletons are the embodiment of hiding WHO WE REALLY ARE...as opposed to being, living, and sharing who we really are, dumb-ass choices and all.  The woodwork serves to open up into REALITY and TRUTH what the keeper is HIDING.  There are many soldiers of the woodwork, but they keep their station until they are "called to duty."  This happens when an event happens that is similar to a past event involving the same person....or when someone says something about someone that strikes a familiar chord from a past involvement of similar circumstances...then the woodwork army just bans together and comes marching out...with all manner of totally believable and uncanny truths...and you are left there going...REALLY...you expose this all NOW?

Most times, you will get a reply that sounds something like this:  "Well, I didn't want to rock the boat" or "I thought you already knew"  or "We figured you'd find out on your own eventually."  or "we've all always known this about him/her, this or that."  Those are trademark woodwork "afterthoughts."  And when the shit hits the fan....Whoa...look out....you could get your ass trampled by these soldiers, because THEN, they are on a mission...and this mission, I greatly appreciate...because I am of the belief that everything happens at the exact time it should...even though I would LOVE to change the past and would have loved the chance to do things differently with ALL OF THE PERTINENT INFORMATION...but hey...that's what makes life interesting.  You actually find out that the woodwork is there to lean on and help you through it...it offers support during the difficult time of admitting that you have made (yet another) grave mistake.  It gives you useful and helpful information to fix the problem...so not all is lost...and then you walk away AGAIN with another lesson learned. This was something that I needed to learn...however, it seems to be set on repeat...so there is obviously SOMETHING that I am missing or WAS missing in all of it.

I believe it is that my philosophy on trust...has been back-asswards....yeah...I always freely give it until I am given reason not to.  Maybe I shouldn't trust anyone until THEY give me a reason TO.  I mean, it is an earned commodity...and a VERY, VERY precious and valuable one.  I thought that it always worked for me...but my buddy "hindsight"..ya know, the very close cousin of the woodwork, bred of the skeletons...tells me "eh...not so much."

So that is it for today...off to polish up some woodwork!!  :)

FIRST IMPRESSIONS....eh..pish tosh

Good morning folks!

Sitting here thinking about first impressions and how we sometimes get ourselves tangled up with the wrong people because of them.

I've heard people say that "you attract what you are" and I've also heard "you tend to admire in others the things that you lack"...yet, I've come to my own conclusion on the matter after some deep thought and many occurrences of this phenomenon in my life.  After each one of these "mishaps" in judgement and usually MUCH stress caused by them, I always learn a little something about myself...but this time, I believe I've hit the mother-load of education!!

It seems that (speaking for myself, of course) I assign to people a character.  YES...they really don't earn it at all before I jump right in assigning one to them BASED UPON an impression they make on me.  This comes from an over-abundance of empathy...I am FOREVER placing myself in someone else's shoes OR placing them in mine <---and I will explain what I mean by this.

If I meet someone who is in a similar situation that I was once in myself that may have been of particular struggle for me that I have since transcended, I will say...I WAS that person...or that person reminds me so much of my younger self, or his/her situation reminds me of a situation I was once in...and BAM, I begin to relate to this person on a deeper level--even though I really KNOW absolutely nothing about them but the "superficials."  I go right to situation and circumstance...because we all have them...and it is a common thing with ALL people.  I may then say to myself...boy if only someone would have given me a chance or a break or tried to better understand my struggle, I would have given the world to know I was more supported or more cared for...etc.  SO then...it is on.  I jump right in thinking that this person is LIKE ME, wanting the same things, prioritizing things the same way, and maybe I could make a difference in their lives to save them from this or that that I went through...when I had no one to make a diffference for me...and how maybe their life could be maybe a bit different.  I then begin to want to "spare" them...so then the rescue mode kicks in.

Most times (if you have a heart at all for others), it is an unconscious compulsion to give to others what you lacked but wanted so badly...and it comes from BEING DENIED and NOT having.  I've never been much of a materialistic person, so what I give is what I believe to be most valuable....time, trust, love, and support.

So my empathy goes haywire as soon as I see someone who shares with me a "like" situation or circumstance with me or even worse, someone who has gone through something that I pray would NEVER happen to me...because I already KNOW it would destroy me...and then I admire their tenacity and ability to cope...so I want to offer my love, support, and compassion with them.

To me...this is NORMAL.  However, I've learned that not everyone who is going through a similar situation or living a similar circumstance as I have has the same attitude or desirous outcome that I did.  In fact, there are those who don't even care to change anything about them, rise above them, or get out of them.  They create them purposely for attention, special favor, and exploit and use them to their advantage and self-serving nature.  THIS is what I've missed in all of this.  NOT everyone is like me...in fact, no one is exactly like me or you or anyone else.  Some don't want support...they want someone to come in and DO IT FOR THEM.  They don't want to better their lives, they just want to make that impression to get suckers like me to offer them something to unwittingly aid to their self-serving end...it's crazy...but its true.

I ask myself...how is it...if I have learned ANYTHING AT ALL from the close encounters I've had with this type of person that I seem to end up always having one of them TOO CLOSE?  It is my nature to believe in the GOOD...to believe that everyone just needs a chance, a boost, a friend, a trusted confidant...to achieve a better, more substantial, fulfilling life...because that is all I've ever strove to achieve...it isn't about stature, finances, attention, and what I want...it is about peace, happiness, family, security, stability, and not having to WORRY.  I know what it is like to worry...about the roof over my kids' heads, where the grocery/bill money was going to come from to KEEP a roof over their heads, who I could trust to watch them in my absence, having time to make sure their environment was safe, sound, and clean, whether or not I was a good example in my day-to-day behavior, my expectations of myself, etc.  I was concerned with always making sure that how people saw me (and I mean EVERYONE) was the same person I KNEW myself to be---so there would be no question of my authenticity...and that was important also to mirror to my children. I AM RESPONSIBLE for every choice I make...and I TAKE that responsibility VERY seriously...and I guess I think EVERYONE does...but the fact of the matter is....and very sadly, there are a lot more people in this world who would rather just ride your coat-tails than recognize the wings you offer them to fly on their own...the more you give, the more they expect.

So, how does one avoid this trap....GIVE people enough time to SHOW you themselves WHO they are and WHAT they are about and HOW they operate BEFORE you go assigning all of the "hard luck" or "bad break" excuses FOR them and rush in to pave their rocky road smooth for them.  People have a way of playing upon your genuine attributes and assigning THEMSELVES to them as well.  "See, I'm just like you, suffering the same struggles, wanting the same things, having the same priorities, principles, and looking to transcend...just like you."  They have a way of "admiring" YOUR tenacity, your obvious ability to overcome and HAVE what it is that is so important for them to achieve.  AND so, here is the equation:

Overabundant compassion/empathy + opportunistic means to an end = DISASTER.

So, those are my thoughts today and my latest life lesson.  Don't apply your own impressions upon the impressions of others.  No one is like you.  Allow their true colors to paint themselves upon that canvas before you paint it all up pretty FOR them.

Been a sucker for hard luck cases all my life...always brought home the strays...but now, I give to those who receive...and I don't to those who TAKE.  There is a difference & I am now fully aware of it.

Good day to all...

Women Over 40. By Frank Kaiser

I stumbled across this...found it to be SO true that I wanted to share it.

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask,"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If an older woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually something more interesting.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is,what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with youat the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can getaway with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

An older woman couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always know.

An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off youare a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.