Years add wisdom, difficulties build strength, love moves mountains, tears nourish growth, dreams reveal purpose, character buries superficiality...Truth IS.

Monday, June 20, 2016

The Broken







And amid the chaos of brokenness,  a light of truth--like a shard of clear crystal cuts through the pain to illuminate your heart.  The thing you thought had shriveled up and retreated to the safety of perpetual solitude and introversion.  Your thoughts align once again with your heart, for the first time in a long time...or so you thought.  The truth is, you never stopped, you never retreated, and you never gave up--and it took a life-altering tragedy to realize how deeply and how hard you loved.  How whole and alive you were...how disillusioned you became about what perpetuated joy or the lack thereof.  It is no secret, though at times tucked cleverly behind the veil, love remains always within the heart of the broken. 



When the light leaves the eyes, it travels to the realm of pure love.  It is no longer encased, but soaring freely about--though piercing the senses of those left behind.  The sense of unbearable loss, the sense of absence, that relentless empty space in the pit of the stomach and the breathlessness that follows.  We realize how whole, joyful, & rich our lives were before the loss.  Ironic.



A sudden tragedy, one we are totally unprepared to handle with any amount of grace will shock us back to life and guide us back to an attitude of abundance and appreciation.  It strips us of our propensity to see our lives from a perspective of lack and "if only".   Now, we are left to deal with that realization.  The brightest side of a darkest moment would be this:  It was only in thought that I believed I lacked.  It was never in my heart--nor my actions.  Thoughts come and go...and in the grander scheme of things, they are unimportant and irrelevant...when the heart leads, the hand holds, the spirit speaks, and the soul connects. 



It is with a completely broken heart that I bid farewell to my best friend, my copilot, protector, the source of much joy and laughter, as well as unmeasurable moments of tenderness and comfort.  She meant the world to me, and this I am completely assured that she was well aware of.  I was her human, and she...was my baby girlie. 



Rest easy my sweet angel.  Nero keeps vigil at your grave daily.  We miss you TERRIBLY.  There will never be another like you.  You were one of a kind.   I promise your life and love will not have been in vain--though, I will need time to grieve...it is so hard to acclimate to your absence when you were there...everywhere I was, all the time.  It was so sudden, so unexpected, and so quick.  I have to catch up.  Please be patient with me.  I'm having a hard time letting go of you--My Hester.