On SO many levels...this is all I can say right now.
God Bless
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Spiritual retreat or victimization?
Hi folks...hope everything is well with all of you today.
It is quite sunny here, a bit nippy with a smidge of snow dotting the ground and untraveled surfaces here and there, but I will not complain. Our weather has reached the high 50s and low- to mid-60s for the past week and I have been able to get away with wearing just a hoodie outdoors, and save some propane, so I AM a happy camper right about now. Amazing how a picture can be seen differently from a different perspective, isn't it? I mean, I COULD find an enumerable amount of things to complain about...if I were to reach, I suppose.
I have had some pretty profound revelations as of late that have come out of some of the toughest lessons I have ever been blessed enough to learn. I say "blessed" because as an idealist...one who sees infinite possibility in lieu of the limiting nature of reality (as you must all confess...that any idea we place into action for the betterment of ourselves or our lives ultimately starts with a dream), I fully recognize how circumstance has a way of indulging blame. This is a self-defeating attitude really. There is NOTHING that can be imposed upon us that we ourselves cannot find a path out of...unless we succumb to the helplessness of playing the victim. I have also read a bit deeper into the saying "hindsight is 20/20." My take on hindsight is....if we can look back and plainly SEE things...they were always there...so this leads me to conclude that it is in our OWN DENIAL, our own selfish need to see things as we WISH them to be and hanging on to the hope that things can be different even though they prove otherwise time and time again that lends any tangibility to the after-the-fact usefulness of hindsight.
There seems to be a variety of reasons why we deny, repress, or avoid altogether what is clearly happening, but the most pronounced of these reasons appears to be that of COMFORT or avoidance of discomfort...it is amazing the character assassination one will endure from others if there are perceived and/or very concrete "needs" that take precedence over our sense of self-worth...and when every area of our life comes crashing down, how easy it is to say "how could YOU." Although there is no explanation or defense to be found for actions of others that are unconscionable...it is really the FACING OF OURSELVES and the role we played in our circumstance that makes hindsight so clear. We really KNEW all along what was going on and DID NOTHING about it...but enable it to go on as long as it did. Once hindsight reaches the 20/20 level, we then engage in the "self-bashing", right? In this...I have learned, it does NOTHING of benefit for you to kick yourself in the ass, think yourself ignorant, stupid, or naive. It does nothing of benefit for you to wallow in your lowest lows, begin to believe what your circumstances are "attempting" to tell you about you, as this only repeats the pattern that got you there to begin with...only WITHOUT the middle-man...can ya dig it?? When you succumb to victimization...you lend your power to the air, your time is wasted, your thoughts become impure and damaging..and more importantly, you begin to believe you are powerless against adversity and begin to allow what knocked you down keep you there and then when you finally get the courage to look to what it is that is holding you there...you find...your OWN hand. *shivers*
Because my relationship with THE higher power inside of me is so close and so intimate...I amazingly have found peace in my deepest despair, found reason in my confusion, and found instruction in the silence.
The next time you find yourself in what seems like an impossible situation and one thing after another comes in and upsets your natural balance of things...and just when you think things could not get any worse, and they do...and you begin to feel like a failure, like a dumbass, and say "what the hell have I ever done to deserve all of this?" Ask yourself these questions: In the situation(s) that led to your rock bottom, did you display a seemingly unyielding endurance for maltreatment? Did you extend love despite not receiving it in return? Did you put others and their needs, or the cause above your own? Did you turn the other cheek time after time even though you knew in-so-doing, you would probably just be slapped again? Did you consider all things before you decided to make any rash decisions? Did you leave no stone unturned in an effort to make something work that wasn't working because the promise you made to yourself made it worth the effort? Did you set your own personal feelings and needs aside for the greater good of others, another, or the situation? Did you display integrity, do the very best you could...and were you honest, dependable, consistent, and put your best foot forward? If your answer is yes...then, this is the message I have for you that I first had to tell myself:
You are not ignorant, stupid, or naive. You gave of yourself unconditionally and gave the part of you that was BIGGER than you. You gave much and came away empty-handed, you displayed charity, forgiveness, compassion, and patience in your cause, and you received rejection, torment, and ultimately crucifixion (metaphorically speaking, of course).
Now, does that at all sound or look familiar to anyone with an ear to hear or an eye to see? But...I'm not even leaving it there...and will add to it by saying: "Now, when (he, she, it) comes knocking, I will say to (him,her,it), 'I do not know you or where you come from, go away from me." THIS happens when you KNOW that you could not have done anything any differently or better and you have no regrets in any way of how you handled things. In the words of a very wise woman it is the "letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different." This is where your peace will be found.
The overall message I send out to you today is...if you have the capability for this type of unconditional love that surpasses your own understanding and you have freely given...it will be given back to you....pressed down, shaken up, and overflowing...dig it? To allow ANY circumstance (whether imposed upon you by another or at your own hand by a mistake you have made)to define you where you are NOW is defaming the very character you have freely shared with others by NOW withholding it from yourself. There is nothing wrong with selflessness at any level, but it can be self-defeating when knocked out of its proper balance. You have got to judge yourself from the proper perspective...not from the ego. Living a life in a very obvious and outward display of ingrained values and a "do unto others" mentality has NO SHAME...There is only shame in how YOU allow your ego's image of yourself attack your sense of self-worth and value. Don't hand your power over to the same power that initially bent you over and...well you know. :) Your image is not worth your time or effort in protecting...your CHARACTER and INTEGRITY are!
Take control of those things that you can...and leave the rest alone. Look at this place of helplessness instead as a place of communion..find the peace in it, and understand that even though you may not understand how it is that you got here...that there is a REASON for it that will become apparent if you choose to stop the mind-speak and listen to a higher voice, block out the voice of negativity, and open your heart to instruction. Also keep in mind that the message you receive or the lesson you learn will ALWAYS BE for your benefit alone...it won't reveal secrets or give answers in regard to other's role in it, but will teach you how to more effectively balance that which you give and that which you keep and hold sacred. Remember, you are God's temple, and I don't know about you, but I would rather err on the side of TOO much love, compassion, and forgiveness of another than not enough or the total lack thereof. But at the same time, we must always keep in mind that allowing our threshold for the emptying out of ourselves to become so vast--to utter depletion--is a desecration of that temple...we need to care for it and protect it and esteem it above all else, and THEN portion it out accordingly, so that nothing goes unfed.
I will confess to all today that I am in a place right now where I have NEVER been in my life, so these words I share with you today are coming from a place of pure sincerity. In the midst of circumstances that seem hopeless...I am strangely at peace and I trust in the words I share with you today to get me through. The one thing that can never be taken from me is my faith...I won't even allow myself to take it..it is there, it is immovable, and it responsible for anything and everything I am, have, or hope to achieve or become.
I hold strong to my peace and power in what I choose to see as a spiritual retreat from those things that were holding me back from my greatest potential. I am not a victim...but a victor. My will to prevail and succeed will always be larger and more permanent than any tiny, temporary circumstance because in my hour of darkness, my spirit lights a candle and shines its light upon the higher purpose of it all.
Blessings to all
Love,
Raina <3
It is quite sunny here, a bit nippy with a smidge of snow dotting the ground and untraveled surfaces here and there, but I will not complain. Our weather has reached the high 50s and low- to mid-60s for the past week and I have been able to get away with wearing just a hoodie outdoors, and save some propane, so I AM a happy camper right about now. Amazing how a picture can be seen differently from a different perspective, isn't it? I mean, I COULD find an enumerable amount of things to complain about...if I were to reach, I suppose.
I have had some pretty profound revelations as of late that have come out of some of the toughest lessons I have ever been blessed enough to learn. I say "blessed" because as an idealist...one who sees infinite possibility in lieu of the limiting nature of reality (as you must all confess...that any idea we place into action for the betterment of ourselves or our lives ultimately starts with a dream), I fully recognize how circumstance has a way of indulging blame. This is a self-defeating attitude really. There is NOTHING that can be imposed upon us that we ourselves cannot find a path out of...unless we succumb to the helplessness of playing the victim. I have also read a bit deeper into the saying "hindsight is 20/20." My take on hindsight is....if we can look back and plainly SEE things...they were always there...so this leads me to conclude that it is in our OWN DENIAL, our own selfish need to see things as we WISH them to be and hanging on to the hope that things can be different even though they prove otherwise time and time again that lends any tangibility to the after-the-fact usefulness of hindsight.
There seems to be a variety of reasons why we deny, repress, or avoid altogether what is clearly happening, but the most pronounced of these reasons appears to be that of COMFORT or avoidance of discomfort...it is amazing the character assassination one will endure from others if there are perceived and/or very concrete "needs" that take precedence over our sense of self-worth...and when every area of our life comes crashing down, how easy it is to say "how could YOU." Although there is no explanation or defense to be found for actions of others that are unconscionable...it is really the FACING OF OURSELVES and the role we played in our circumstance that makes hindsight so clear. We really KNEW all along what was going on and DID NOTHING about it...but enable it to go on as long as it did. Once hindsight reaches the 20/20 level, we then engage in the "self-bashing", right? In this...I have learned, it does NOTHING of benefit for you to kick yourself in the ass, think yourself ignorant, stupid, or naive. It does nothing of benefit for you to wallow in your lowest lows, begin to believe what your circumstances are "attempting" to tell you about you, as this only repeats the pattern that got you there to begin with...only WITHOUT the middle-man...can ya dig it?? When you succumb to victimization...you lend your power to the air, your time is wasted, your thoughts become impure and damaging..and more importantly, you begin to believe you are powerless against adversity and begin to allow what knocked you down keep you there and then when you finally get the courage to look to what it is that is holding you there...you find...your OWN hand. *shivers*
Because my relationship with THE higher power inside of me is so close and so intimate...I amazingly have found peace in my deepest despair, found reason in my confusion, and found instruction in the silence.
The next time you find yourself in what seems like an impossible situation and one thing after another comes in and upsets your natural balance of things...and just when you think things could not get any worse, and they do...and you begin to feel like a failure, like a dumbass, and say "what the hell have I ever done to deserve all of this?" Ask yourself these questions: In the situation(s) that led to your rock bottom, did you display a seemingly unyielding endurance for maltreatment? Did you extend love despite not receiving it in return? Did you put others and their needs, or the cause above your own? Did you turn the other cheek time after time even though you knew in-so-doing, you would probably just be slapped again? Did you consider all things before you decided to make any rash decisions? Did you leave no stone unturned in an effort to make something work that wasn't working because the promise you made to yourself made it worth the effort? Did you set your own personal feelings and needs aside for the greater good of others, another, or the situation? Did you display integrity, do the very best you could...and were you honest, dependable, consistent, and put your best foot forward? If your answer is yes...then, this is the message I have for you that I first had to tell myself:
You are not ignorant, stupid, or naive. You gave of yourself unconditionally and gave the part of you that was BIGGER than you. You gave much and came away empty-handed, you displayed charity, forgiveness, compassion, and patience in your cause, and you received rejection, torment, and ultimately crucifixion (metaphorically speaking, of course).
Now, does that at all sound or look familiar to anyone with an ear to hear or an eye to see? But...I'm not even leaving it there...and will add to it by saying: "Now, when (he, she, it) comes knocking, I will say to (him,her,it), 'I do not know you or where you come from, go away from me." THIS happens when you KNOW that you could not have done anything any differently or better and you have no regrets in any way of how you handled things. In the words of a very wise woman it is the "letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different." This is where your peace will be found.
The overall message I send out to you today is...if you have the capability for this type of unconditional love that surpasses your own understanding and you have freely given...it will be given back to you....pressed down, shaken up, and overflowing...dig it? To allow ANY circumstance (whether imposed upon you by another or at your own hand by a mistake you have made)to define you where you are NOW is defaming the very character you have freely shared with others by NOW withholding it from yourself. There is nothing wrong with selflessness at any level, but it can be self-defeating when knocked out of its proper balance. You have got to judge yourself from the proper perspective...not from the ego. Living a life in a very obvious and outward display of ingrained values and a "do unto others" mentality has NO SHAME...There is only shame in how YOU allow your ego's image of yourself attack your sense of self-worth and value. Don't hand your power over to the same power that initially bent you over and...well you know. :) Your image is not worth your time or effort in protecting...your CHARACTER and INTEGRITY are!
Take control of those things that you can...and leave the rest alone. Look at this place of helplessness instead as a place of communion..find the peace in it, and understand that even though you may not understand how it is that you got here...that there is a REASON for it that will become apparent if you choose to stop the mind-speak and listen to a higher voice, block out the voice of negativity, and open your heart to instruction. Also keep in mind that the message you receive or the lesson you learn will ALWAYS BE for your benefit alone...it won't reveal secrets or give answers in regard to other's role in it, but will teach you how to more effectively balance that which you give and that which you keep and hold sacred. Remember, you are God's temple, and I don't know about you, but I would rather err on the side of TOO much love, compassion, and forgiveness of another than not enough or the total lack thereof. But at the same time, we must always keep in mind that allowing our threshold for the emptying out of ourselves to become so vast--to utter depletion--is a desecration of that temple...we need to care for it and protect it and esteem it above all else, and THEN portion it out accordingly, so that nothing goes unfed.
I will confess to all today that I am in a place right now where I have NEVER been in my life, so these words I share with you today are coming from a place of pure sincerity. In the midst of circumstances that seem hopeless...I am strangely at peace and I trust in the words I share with you today to get me through. The one thing that can never be taken from me is my faith...I won't even allow myself to take it..it is there, it is immovable, and it responsible for anything and everything I am, have, or hope to achieve or become.
I hold strong to my peace and power in what I choose to see as a spiritual retreat from those things that were holding me back from my greatest potential. I am not a victim...but a victor. My will to prevail and succeed will always be larger and more permanent than any tiny, temporary circumstance because in my hour of darkness, my spirit lights a candle and shines its light upon the higher purpose of it all.
Blessings to all
Love,
Raina <3
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Character counts.
Today, I am going to do a little something different...I am going to post nothing but quotes for my entry of the day...words of others, as I take comfort at times in knowing that there are others out there who share in my deepest beliefs and conduct. So here goes...
"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught."~J.C. Watts.
"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."~William Shakespeare.
"Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it."~David Star Jordan.
"If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters."~Alan Simpson.
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."~Oscar Wilde.
"Character is much easier kept than recovered."~Thomas Paine.
"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." ~Buddha.
"Your life may be the only Bible some people read."~Author Unknown.
"The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out."~Thomas Babington Macaulay.
"Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value."~Albert Einstein.
"Character is higher than intellect."~Ralph Waldo Emerson.
"Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one."~Chinese Proverb.
"If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done."~John Lubbock.
"Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them." ~Aristotle.
"You do not wake up one morning a bad person. It happens by a thousand tiny surrenders of self-respect to self-interest." ~Robert Brault.
"A pure hand needs no glove to cover it."~Nathaniel Hawthorne.
"To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.~Confucius.
"Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not a sin - just stupid.)~Robert A. Heinlein.
"If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us at least live so as to deserve it."~Immanuel Hermass von Fichte.
**"God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right even though I think it is hopeless."~Chester W. Nimitz--love this one!
**"The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour."~Japanese Proverb.---AND this one.
"Men are not punished for their sins, but by them."~Elbert Hubbard.
"Our names are labels, plainly printed on the bottled essence of our past behavior."~Logan Pearsall Smith.
"If honor be your clothing, the suit will last a lifetime; but if clothing be your honor, it will soon be worn threadbare."~William Arnot.
"Every human being has... an attendant spirit.... If it does not always tell us what to do, it always cautions us what not to do."~Lydia M. Child.
"Every man over forty is responsible for his face."~Abraham Lincoln.
"The strength of a man's virtue should not be measured by his special exertions, but by his habitual acts."~Blaise Pascal.
"I'll tell you a big secret, my friend: Don't wait for the Last Judgment. It happens every day."~Albert Camus.
"Take care that no one hates you justly."~Publilius Syrus.
The great minds behind these assorted expressions speak valid truth to my life. I internalize and believe in all of them. I neither wish to add-to or take-away anything from any of them.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone...
R
"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught."~J.C. Watts.
"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."~William Shakespeare.
"Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it."~David Star Jordan.
"If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters."~Alan Simpson.
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."~Oscar Wilde.
"Character is much easier kept than recovered."~Thomas Paine.
"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." ~Buddha.
"Your life may be the only Bible some people read."~Author Unknown.
"The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out."~Thomas Babington Macaulay.
"Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value."~Albert Einstein.
"Character is higher than intellect."~Ralph Waldo Emerson.
"Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one."~Chinese Proverb.
"If we are ever in doubt about what to do, it is a good rule to ask ourselves what we shall wish on the morrow that we had done."~John Lubbock.
"Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them." ~Aristotle.
"You do not wake up one morning a bad person. It happens by a thousand tiny surrenders of self-respect to self-interest." ~Robert Brault.
"A pure hand needs no glove to cover it."~Nathaniel Hawthorne.
"To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.~Confucius.
"Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not a sin - just stupid.)~Robert A. Heinlein.
"If we cannot live so as to be happy, let us at least live so as to deserve it."~Immanuel Hermass von Fichte.
**"God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right even though I think it is hopeless."~Chester W. Nimitz--love this one!
**"The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour."~Japanese Proverb.---AND this one.
"Men are not punished for their sins, but by them."~Elbert Hubbard.
"Our names are labels, plainly printed on the bottled essence of our past behavior."~Logan Pearsall Smith.
"If honor be your clothing, the suit will last a lifetime; but if clothing be your honor, it will soon be worn threadbare."~William Arnot.
"Every human being has... an attendant spirit.... If it does not always tell us what to do, it always cautions us what not to do."~Lydia M. Child.
"Every man over forty is responsible for his face."~Abraham Lincoln.
"The strength of a man's virtue should not be measured by his special exertions, but by his habitual acts."~Blaise Pascal.
"I'll tell you a big secret, my friend: Don't wait for the Last Judgment. It happens every day."~Albert Camus.
"Take care that no one hates you justly."~Publilius Syrus.
The great minds behind these assorted expressions speak valid truth to my life. I internalize and believe in all of them. I neither wish to add-to or take-away anything from any of them.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone...
R
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Cultivation
Good morning all my European/East Asian/Asian/East Indian fans!! You represent the largest number of my readers, and for me, it is affirmation of the deep feelings I have that draw me to your cultures and someday, hopefully, your soil!! These places and belief systems seem somehow to be ingrained in me in large part, and I want you to know that I am humbled by your interest in my creative outlet...thank you for your dedication.
My word of the day is...cultivation.
For those who are interested, my book is coming along very well. I have been blocked here and there, side-tracked, so to speak in my diligence to spend as much time on it as I would like...but ya know, life happens, doesn't it? I view these down-times as times of gathering. Since my book is being written of things I know, and I am always learning something new everyday, I continue to gather all the time. I don't write out of "thought" but more out of "reflex." I seem to have a built-in switch labeled "cultivate," where I tend, and nurture my thoughts and feelings associated with them to a level of maturity, and then, I gather and separate them. What then comes out, is raw creativity. It is not enforced, led, or tempered at all by thought alone. It rather, just spills once I've gathered all that I have cumulatively cultivated to overflow.
Today was the first day in a couple of weeks that I tended to my book, and have been quite lax in tending to this blog as well...as the opportunity for massive cultivation had presented itself and that is where my presence has been. Perspective is the point of balance in it all for me, and that is where the rubber hits the road and where the good grain is separated from the unusable. There is useless information and useful information. There are things that matter and things that don't...but they all have a life, and it is our duty to discern between the two within the final separation process of our cultivation and gathering.
We need to realize that even though we have spent 100% of ourselves on whatever it is we choose to nurture and care for, that we will never yield 100% of what we put into it. We will take a hit and there will be a loss...the best we can hope for is that our gain surpasses our loss. This is why it is wise to take a step back in a pursuit and just GLEAN, because there will be left behind, something good that you may have missed in the initial gather that may in fact, be the very thing that will boost your gain over your loss. It is a time-consuming process and not for those looking for an immediate answer or those unable to resist temptation of instant gratification. It is a process of patience in pursuit of knowledge and wisdom.
In this specific period of gleaning, in what was left behind, I found that I am a VERY long-suffering person. I always thought that patience was not a virtue to be listed on my resume of life, but have found contrarily, that it is probably the virtue I practice the most and is the very thing that has put my gain up OVER my loss in every situation. I always desire the best outcome possible, with all things considered...and THIS takes an immense amount of patience, attention, and focus. As a matter of fact, there would be NO cultivation without patience, there would be no gathering without it, and definitely no separation.
So if I am absent from you here, just know that I am in one of the steps of this process & also know that I will not ever come here and blurt something from the top of my head...it will be the product of a finely cultivated, gathered, separated and gleaned message from my heart to yours.
“Natural abilities can almost compensate for the want of every kind of cultivation, but no cultivation of the mind can make up for the want of natural abilities.”~John Ruskin.
"Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown." Soren Kierkegaard.
“Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession.”~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.
“To what extent can one have a sense for something if he doesn't have its embryo inside him? Whatever I come to understand must itself develop organically in myself, and what I seem to learn is only nourishment and cultivation of that inner organism.”~ Novalis.
Recognize the natural, harmonic rhythm of the cultivation to the harvest...don't disrupt it by the need of a quick fix. We should not ever expect to cash in on something that we never first patiently cared for.
Love you all...see ya next time, same place...probably around the same time...Happy Harvest!!
My word of the day is...cultivation.
For those who are interested, my book is coming along very well. I have been blocked here and there, side-tracked, so to speak in my diligence to spend as much time on it as I would like...but ya know, life happens, doesn't it? I view these down-times as times of gathering. Since my book is being written of things I know, and I am always learning something new everyday, I continue to gather all the time. I don't write out of "thought" but more out of "reflex." I seem to have a built-in switch labeled "cultivate," where I tend, and nurture my thoughts and feelings associated with them to a level of maturity, and then, I gather and separate them. What then comes out, is raw creativity. It is not enforced, led, or tempered at all by thought alone. It rather, just spills once I've gathered all that I have cumulatively cultivated to overflow.
Today was the first day in a couple of weeks that I tended to my book, and have been quite lax in tending to this blog as well...as the opportunity for massive cultivation had presented itself and that is where my presence has been. Perspective is the point of balance in it all for me, and that is where the rubber hits the road and where the good grain is separated from the unusable. There is useless information and useful information. There are things that matter and things that don't...but they all have a life, and it is our duty to discern between the two within the final separation process of our cultivation and gathering.
We need to realize that even though we have spent 100% of ourselves on whatever it is we choose to nurture and care for, that we will never yield 100% of what we put into it. We will take a hit and there will be a loss...the best we can hope for is that our gain surpasses our loss. This is why it is wise to take a step back in a pursuit and just GLEAN, because there will be left behind, something good that you may have missed in the initial gather that may in fact, be the very thing that will boost your gain over your loss. It is a time-consuming process and not for those looking for an immediate answer or those unable to resist temptation of instant gratification. It is a process of patience in pursuit of knowledge and wisdom.
In this specific period of gleaning, in what was left behind, I found that I am a VERY long-suffering person. I always thought that patience was not a virtue to be listed on my resume of life, but have found contrarily, that it is probably the virtue I practice the most and is the very thing that has put my gain up OVER my loss in every situation. I always desire the best outcome possible, with all things considered...and THIS takes an immense amount of patience, attention, and focus. As a matter of fact, there would be NO cultivation without patience, there would be no gathering without it, and definitely no separation.
So if I am absent from you here, just know that I am in one of the steps of this process & also know that I will not ever come here and blurt something from the top of my head...it will be the product of a finely cultivated, gathered, separated and gleaned message from my heart to yours.
“Natural abilities can almost compensate for the want of every kind of cultivation, but no cultivation of the mind can make up for the want of natural abilities.”~John Ruskin.
"Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown." Soren Kierkegaard.
“Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession.”~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.
“To what extent can one have a sense for something if he doesn't have its embryo inside him? Whatever I come to understand must itself develop organically in myself, and what I seem to learn is only nourishment and cultivation of that inner organism.”~ Novalis.
Recognize the natural, harmonic rhythm of the cultivation to the harvest...don't disrupt it by the need of a quick fix. We should not ever expect to cash in on something that we never first patiently cared for.
Love you all...see ya next time, same place...probably around the same time...Happy Harvest!!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Got gratitude?
Well hello strangers...
Sorry I haven't been on lately, I have a few projects going on right now that have kept me quite busy, and now I prepare for my favorite day of the year...THANKSGIVING!! This day marks for me (and most others) the beginning of the holiday season. It is a day of family and friends (those present and past), cooking creativity, aroma therapy, different tastes and textures, and a hint of Christmas here and there to cast your eye upon. I get butterflies in my stomach thinking about this day that is now fast approaching. I look forward to my time being transformed into a beautiful meal shared with the people I most cherish and the new guests I seem to be blessed to entertain on this day year to year. There is a LOT of laughter filling this house as well as some stimulating conversation. There is football on the television, full bellies, and the tryptophan nap. After the after-dinner relaxation, we all gather 'round the table and play stupid games and crack open the booze...and then my son becomes the life of the party---GOD I love him!
It is also a time of reflection, as I remember my dad. His birthday is at the end of the month and sometimes I celebrate Thanksgiving and his birthday the same day (not this year). I write him a letter every year the night before thanksgiving, telling him how I am doing (as if he doesn't already know!), but it helps me bring to the surface all of the missing him I have done for the year. It has become a way of incorporating his spirit presence to something tangible, I guess. It helps me to talk to him....and I also read the letters past, which remind me of how far I have come through the years, and I think that as proud of me as he was before he left, I see him being even more proud of me now. I can see his smile when I do something "smile-worthy", I can feel his concern when I am lost, and his nudge when I am uncertain. He was my biggest cheerleader and my most trusted confidant. He was a shining example of simplicity, authenticity, integrity, and mutual respect. He was the only man in my life for years, the most important one for years later, and now the most physically missed at my Thanksgiving table year to year. I am grateful to have been my daddy's baby girl. I am grateful for the sense of fairness, acceptance, and compassion he instilled in me. I am grateful for the time spent with him, his sense of humor, his veracity, and his unwavering way of putting others above himself. I am grateful that he really KNEW me and loved me anyway. I am grateful that he always made me feel as if I were som'n special, something beyond what he felt he and my mother were responsible for producing. I am grateful to be the me I have grown to be. I know that every year, he sits with us in our home, at our table on Thanksgiving day being grateful as well that his presence is so important to all of us, sharing the love, laughter, and seeing the food so lovingly prepared and set before all who gather. Happy Thanksgiving dad...and happy birthday...I love you! (I wish you could just MAKE THE GRAVY!!)
This year, I will be welcoming 3 new guests to our Thanksgiving celebration and it is my wish that that the utter exuberance my family has for this special day, they will take home with them!
If you are having difficulty finding a reason to be grateful, visit a homeless shelter, a soup kitchen, a cancer hospital, a children's hospital, a veteran's hospital. Take some REAL time to talk to an elderly person about his or her life and what was most important to them because chances are, these will be the very things that are most important to you when you reach their age. Look deeply into the eyes of your children and silently "watch" them as they go about their day, extract from them what it is that is important to them in that moment. Say a kind word to someone, hug someone, tell someone how important they are to you and that you love them. Listen to yourself breathe as you lay down for the night to sleep, listen to the life going on around you. Feel the wind, the sun, smell the air. Grab onto and hold tight to every little bit of kindness that someone shows you, every ounce of respect someone trickles over you---and then pay it forward to another...because someday, you will be the absent person at a dearly loved-one's table, and I don't know about you, but I would hope that my presence there would be deeply missed.
Be thankful to be alive. In order to receive a blessing, you have to BE one first!! God Bless all who read today. Have a safe and joyful Thanksgiving and Holiday season.
"Hem your blessings with thankfulness so they don't unravel."~Author Unknown
"The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you."~John E. Southard.
"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."~Epictetus.
"Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving." ~W.T. Purkiser
Much love
Raina
Sorry I haven't been on lately, I have a few projects going on right now that have kept me quite busy, and now I prepare for my favorite day of the year...THANKSGIVING!! This day marks for me (and most others) the beginning of the holiday season. It is a day of family and friends (those present and past), cooking creativity, aroma therapy, different tastes and textures, and a hint of Christmas here and there to cast your eye upon. I get butterflies in my stomach thinking about this day that is now fast approaching. I look forward to my time being transformed into a beautiful meal shared with the people I most cherish and the new guests I seem to be blessed to entertain on this day year to year. There is a LOT of laughter filling this house as well as some stimulating conversation. There is football on the television, full bellies, and the tryptophan nap. After the after-dinner relaxation, we all gather 'round the table and play stupid games and crack open the booze...and then my son becomes the life of the party---GOD I love him!
It is also a time of reflection, as I remember my dad. His birthday is at the end of the month and sometimes I celebrate Thanksgiving and his birthday the same day (not this year). I write him a letter every year the night before thanksgiving, telling him how I am doing (as if he doesn't already know!), but it helps me bring to the surface all of the missing him I have done for the year. It has become a way of incorporating his spirit presence to something tangible, I guess. It helps me to talk to him....and I also read the letters past, which remind me of how far I have come through the years, and I think that as proud of me as he was before he left, I see him being even more proud of me now. I can see his smile when I do something "smile-worthy", I can feel his concern when I am lost, and his nudge when I am uncertain. He was my biggest cheerleader and my most trusted confidant. He was a shining example of simplicity, authenticity, integrity, and mutual respect. He was the only man in my life for years, the most important one for years later, and now the most physically missed at my Thanksgiving table year to year. I am grateful to have been my daddy's baby girl. I am grateful for the sense of fairness, acceptance, and compassion he instilled in me. I am grateful for the time spent with him, his sense of humor, his veracity, and his unwavering way of putting others above himself. I am grateful that he really KNEW me and loved me anyway. I am grateful that he always made me feel as if I were som'n special, something beyond what he felt he and my mother were responsible for producing. I am grateful to be the me I have grown to be. I know that every year, he sits with us in our home, at our table on Thanksgiving day being grateful as well that his presence is so important to all of us, sharing the love, laughter, and seeing the food so lovingly prepared and set before all who gather. Happy Thanksgiving dad...and happy birthday...I love you! (I wish you could just MAKE THE GRAVY!!)
This year, I will be welcoming 3 new guests to our Thanksgiving celebration and it is my wish that that the utter exuberance my family has for this special day, they will take home with them!
If you are having difficulty finding a reason to be grateful, visit a homeless shelter, a soup kitchen, a cancer hospital, a children's hospital, a veteran's hospital. Take some REAL time to talk to an elderly person about his or her life and what was most important to them because chances are, these will be the very things that are most important to you when you reach their age. Look deeply into the eyes of your children and silently "watch" them as they go about their day, extract from them what it is that is important to them in that moment. Say a kind word to someone, hug someone, tell someone how important they are to you and that you love them. Listen to yourself breathe as you lay down for the night to sleep, listen to the life going on around you. Feel the wind, the sun, smell the air. Grab onto and hold tight to every little bit of kindness that someone shows you, every ounce of respect someone trickles over you---and then pay it forward to another...because someday, you will be the absent person at a dearly loved-one's table, and I don't know about you, but I would hope that my presence there would be deeply missed.
Be thankful to be alive. In order to receive a blessing, you have to BE one first!! God Bless all who read today. Have a safe and joyful Thanksgiving and Holiday season.
"Hem your blessings with thankfulness so they don't unravel."~Author Unknown
"The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you."~John E. Southard.
"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."~Epictetus.
"Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving." ~W.T. Purkiser
Much love
Raina
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
"It's just the beast under your bed...."
The setting for a dream I had:
A thundering voice comes from the depths and says: "These are things to remind you of what you NEVER had" and then these pictures started flashing before my eyes:
A couple gazing into each other's eyes over a dinner table, holding hands.
A home soon to be empty of children...a couple plans for a trip abroad.
A diamond solitaire ring being placed upon a woman's finger as she sleeps on her birthday.
A glass plaque with an inscription that says "I will always love you."
An empty parking space in the driveway.
A couple working together on their new home; the redesign of a kitchen and dining room.
Daily laughter.
Dancing without music.
Words as daggers, lulling and stabbing, stroking and bludgeoning-but having no meaning.
An assortment of women who I didn't recognize gathered around my life, standing in for me in parts of it, and I knowing that I never would have even wanted to meet them had it been my choice.
In this dream, there always seemed to be a truth missing somewhere....however, the only truth I could remember always really knowing but never understanding, hoping wasn't true but was...fell from the lips of this man in my dream who had two mouths and resembled a clown: Out of the first mouth comes the words: "I get it now" "I have put myself in the same place I put you" "I love you and I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you if that is what it takes" and I watch as his appearance slowly begins to transform from a clown to a prince and I am impressed with his seemingly sincere nobility.
Just as these words begin to comfort me and his appearance begins to impress me, his other mouth speaks and says: "I don't love you, and I don't want to be with you."
I speak and say: "You never were....the end of something is nothing but a tangible validation of its beginning. It is not different, but the same. The conception of a thing is the same as it's ultimate emergence. The final outcome is only the proof of intent."
He laughs from the mouth that spoke last and his appearance again begins to change. The devastation begins as the other mouth speaks and says: "I care for and worry about you, that will never change."
This clown/prince was attempting to kill me in my dream for what seemed like years, and as he was delivering the final blow, I woke up---a little sweaty, scared, and disillusioned, but as I sat alone in the dark and I began to get my bearings and figure out where I was, my focus became readjusted and I remembered....HERE, RIGHT HERE, where I have been all along.
As I became fully awakened, I heard a soft voice whisper to me: "Dear child, you have gone out to comfort others; being concerned to save a life through a word, and you have worked with your hands as a ransom for your sins. You have not been one to reach out your hands to receive and draw them back from giving. You have not been of two minds nor spoken from both sides of your mouth, which has saved you from a deadly trap. You have been your own good law-giver and remain a faithful adviser to yourself and work diligently to remove all hypocrisy from yourself. I have given you wisdom, understanding, perception, and knowledge of my righteous demands and patience...Because you love me, I will rescue you and protect you, for you acknowledge my name. Now dear one, commune with your own heart on your bed and be still."
Isn't it crazy how real bad dreams really feel...like you are actually living them? But how very soon they are forgotten and you laugh at them and yourself for ever being afraid as soon as you realize that none of it was real.
So to all of you scary monsters out there that make your appearances in the dreams of the innocent as they enter their rest, you should be ashamed of yourselves...(is that even possible for monster characters in nightmares?), cuz I got a feeling that the hell that you came from and attempted to usher into my dreams was probably a day at the beach for ya...maybe you should go get yourself a bucket and shovel, make the most of it, and enjoy it while you can. Thank GOD you were just a figment of my imagination and that you have no real power to hurt me...cuz all I had to do was WAKE UP, listen to the voice of love, and your reign of terror was over---just like that!
Go back to Never-Never Land you impostor...I'm awake now and fully recognize what is real and what isn't. Representatives of peace, truth, and love have also visited me in my dreams...only when I wake up, they remain with me...and that's how I know they are real.
A thundering voice comes from the depths and says: "These are things to remind you of what you NEVER had" and then these pictures started flashing before my eyes:
A couple gazing into each other's eyes over a dinner table, holding hands.
A home soon to be empty of children...a couple plans for a trip abroad.
A diamond solitaire ring being placed upon a woman's finger as she sleeps on her birthday.
A glass plaque with an inscription that says "I will always love you."
An empty parking space in the driveway.
A couple working together on their new home; the redesign of a kitchen and dining room.
Daily laughter.
Dancing without music.
Words as daggers, lulling and stabbing, stroking and bludgeoning-but having no meaning.
An assortment of women who I didn't recognize gathered around my life, standing in for me in parts of it, and I knowing that I never would have even wanted to meet them had it been my choice.
In this dream, there always seemed to be a truth missing somewhere....however, the only truth I could remember always really knowing but never understanding, hoping wasn't true but was...fell from the lips of this man in my dream who had two mouths and resembled a clown: Out of the first mouth comes the words: "I get it now" "I have put myself in the same place I put you" "I love you and I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you if that is what it takes" and I watch as his appearance slowly begins to transform from a clown to a prince and I am impressed with his seemingly sincere nobility.
Just as these words begin to comfort me and his appearance begins to impress me, his other mouth speaks and says: "I don't love you, and I don't want to be with you."
I speak and say: "You never were....the end of something is nothing but a tangible validation of its beginning. It is not different, but the same. The conception of a thing is the same as it's ultimate emergence. The final outcome is only the proof of intent."
He laughs from the mouth that spoke last and his appearance again begins to change. The devastation begins as the other mouth speaks and says: "I care for and worry about you, that will never change."
This clown/prince was attempting to kill me in my dream for what seemed like years, and as he was delivering the final blow, I woke up---a little sweaty, scared, and disillusioned, but as I sat alone in the dark and I began to get my bearings and figure out where I was, my focus became readjusted and I remembered....HERE, RIGHT HERE, where I have been all along.
As I became fully awakened, I heard a soft voice whisper to me: "Dear child, you have gone out to comfort others; being concerned to save a life through a word, and you have worked with your hands as a ransom for your sins. You have not been one to reach out your hands to receive and draw them back from giving. You have not been of two minds nor spoken from both sides of your mouth, which has saved you from a deadly trap. You have been your own good law-giver and remain a faithful adviser to yourself and work diligently to remove all hypocrisy from yourself. I have given you wisdom, understanding, perception, and knowledge of my righteous demands and patience...Because you love me, I will rescue you and protect you, for you acknowledge my name. Now dear one, commune with your own heart on your bed and be still."
Isn't it crazy how real bad dreams really feel...like you are actually living them? But how very soon they are forgotten and you laugh at them and yourself for ever being afraid as soon as you realize that none of it was real.
So to all of you scary monsters out there that make your appearances in the dreams of the innocent as they enter their rest, you should be ashamed of yourselves...(is that even possible for monster characters in nightmares?), cuz I got a feeling that the hell that you came from and attempted to usher into my dreams was probably a day at the beach for ya...maybe you should go get yourself a bucket and shovel, make the most of it, and enjoy it while you can. Thank GOD you were just a figment of my imagination and that you have no real power to hurt me...cuz all I had to do was WAKE UP, listen to the voice of love, and your reign of terror was over---just like that!
Go back to Never-Never Land you impostor...I'm awake now and fully recognize what is real and what isn't. Representatives of peace, truth, and love have also visited me in my dreams...only when I wake up, they remain with me...and that's how I know they are real.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Cash-N-Carry...
Good morning!
As I delve deeply into what I believe will be one of the greatest things I have ever done for myself, I see some little "side benefits" that lay hidden in the planning process, but have become very apparent while putting the plan into action. I have begun the very rough draft of the transcript for my book that I have been urged by many to write and that I have always known was in me to write...BUT during my time of preparation, I had a very hard time figuring out a particular classification, or manner (fiction/nonfiction)of laying it all out. I have decided that though I have a very active imagination, I would not delve into fiction (at least for right now) as I find the time that it would take to place what I know into a character context with a plot would be immense, not to mention, somewhat limiting to the purpose of it as a whole. So I have weighed the pros and cons..should I limit what I know to a story line with a final outcome..showcasing my imagination for the purpose of entertainment, or should I just BE it? The first thing every author must possess and convey to his/her readers is credibility. If I AM what I write, then I suppose that question is answered before it is posed. I am credible. I have often heard..."do what you know" or in the context of writing "write what you know." This is the genesis of my largest creation (besides that of my children). Funny I mention that, as I am finding that this process is much the same as becoming pregnant and giving birth. My pregnancy has lasted a LOOOONNNNGGG time...and I have nurtured the child inside to its maximum benefit, and now am ready to give this baby LIFE outside.
I spoke early on of the side benefits of this, and they are: Therapy. It is amazing the emotion you stir up when you are reliving old lessons, and equally amazing and maybe even more-so is how much you haven't learned hiding under those stones you had unwittingly left unturned. Every SPECK of your life contains within it a vantage point and every vantage point leads to a single focus, and that focus is where you find yourself right now. I cannot help but hurt for those who cannot and/or do not see it this way. This would mean that their entire existence here in their denial, blindness, or refusal to see and experience is utterly and unequivocally without meaning. It is going from one "pleasure" to the next because let's face it, pleasure is EASY to attain isn't it? It is EVERYWHERE..it is basically disposable and biodegradable. It is used to its capacity, thrown away, and absorbed into the thin air. WOW! JOY; however, is a different creature altogether. When truly experienced, joy multiplies and populates. It is foundational and lasting. This is what permeates me as I walk in all that I was meant to be.
I am told very often that the expanse of my mind borders on the uninterpretable & I laugh to myself because it is the only way I know how to be, not because I have conditioned myself to BE this way, but more because I have finally accepted that my innate infrastructure is one of RESISTING condition. I believe this is why my vantage point is so hard to understand by others and why it is so hard for me to convey the things I have come to understand from my perspective. I have to KNOW everything...NOT for the purpose of being a know-it-all, but more because I know that there is always SO MUCH MORE to everything than what appears on the surface and I have an endless need to learn and grow. I am seeing this force unfold exponentially now as I set in motion this call...and observe very keenly, my focus. There are things I had "missed" in the intial experience that I have found years later in my revisit. Some of these things have brought laughter, some tears, some anxiety, some peace...but most of all, more wisdom, more knowledge, more strength, and more tenacity and a knowing that what I set my mind, my heart, and my hand to do right now in this rough draft of "what I know" is the center-most point of its culmination.
INTENT is the MOTHER OF RISK....
The human race is constructed within and around a vast network of relationships. When others are involved in our "securities," our very life is centered around a series of risks we take. The only risk we will not EVER take is falling in line with what IS and clothing your actions in the right reasons. If I write this book with the intent of securing my financial future, I leave my destiny to RISK. If I write this book to gain notoriety, I reduce my experience to RISK. If the gain I reach for in writing this book is one of pleasure, my blood, sweat, and tears (literally) are given away to that temporary feeling. If I enter in with no preconceived notion, but do it because I AM it...I speak outside of EGO. I speak in my true voice. The thing I do is write..it is a gift given to me to allow my spirit to speak...it isn't the definition nor my label. Check your intent.
I do this because: It is in me to do and for NO other reason. I am not focused on any outcome...I am focused on the journey, the purpose, and unbeknownst to me at onset, the therapy.
What is it that calls to you and what gift do you possess to realize this calling? Everyone has one...everyone. And more importantly, what kind of service to others could you indeed be if you were to utilize it--OR--if you are utilizing it now, what reasons are you assigning to it? Are you reducing it to personal gain or are you spreading it and encouraging it to populate. Observe where your mind takes you in the silence.
Your TRUE heart lies where your mind frequently travels. If you feel lost and cannot find it, examine your intent, purify and refine it..."For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
As I delve deeply into what I believe will be one of the greatest things I have ever done for myself, I see some little "side benefits" that lay hidden in the planning process, but have become very apparent while putting the plan into action. I have begun the very rough draft of the transcript for my book that I have been urged by many to write and that I have always known was in me to write...BUT during my time of preparation, I had a very hard time figuring out a particular classification, or manner (fiction/nonfiction)of laying it all out. I have decided that though I have a very active imagination, I would not delve into fiction (at least for right now) as I find the time that it would take to place what I know into a character context with a plot would be immense, not to mention, somewhat limiting to the purpose of it as a whole. So I have weighed the pros and cons..should I limit what I know to a story line with a final outcome..showcasing my imagination for the purpose of entertainment, or should I just BE it? The first thing every author must possess and convey to his/her readers is credibility. If I AM what I write, then I suppose that question is answered before it is posed. I am credible. I have often heard..."do what you know" or in the context of writing "write what you know." This is the genesis of my largest creation (besides that of my children). Funny I mention that, as I am finding that this process is much the same as becoming pregnant and giving birth. My pregnancy has lasted a LOOOONNNNGGG time...and I have nurtured the child inside to its maximum benefit, and now am ready to give this baby LIFE outside.
I spoke early on of the side benefits of this, and they are: Therapy. It is amazing the emotion you stir up when you are reliving old lessons, and equally amazing and maybe even more-so is how much you haven't learned hiding under those stones you had unwittingly left unturned. Every SPECK of your life contains within it a vantage point and every vantage point leads to a single focus, and that focus is where you find yourself right now. I cannot help but hurt for those who cannot and/or do not see it this way. This would mean that their entire existence here in their denial, blindness, or refusal to see and experience is utterly and unequivocally without meaning. It is going from one "pleasure" to the next because let's face it, pleasure is EASY to attain isn't it? It is EVERYWHERE..it is basically disposable and biodegradable. It is used to its capacity, thrown away, and absorbed into the thin air. WOW! JOY; however, is a different creature altogether. When truly experienced, joy multiplies and populates. It is foundational and lasting. This is what permeates me as I walk in all that I was meant to be.
I am told very often that the expanse of my mind borders on the uninterpretable & I laugh to myself because it is the only way I know how to be, not because I have conditioned myself to BE this way, but more because I have finally accepted that my innate infrastructure is one of RESISTING condition. I believe this is why my vantage point is so hard to understand by others and why it is so hard for me to convey the things I have come to understand from my perspective. I have to KNOW everything...NOT for the purpose of being a know-it-all, but more because I know that there is always SO MUCH MORE to everything than what appears on the surface and I have an endless need to learn and grow. I am seeing this force unfold exponentially now as I set in motion this call...and observe very keenly, my focus. There are things I had "missed" in the intial experience that I have found years later in my revisit. Some of these things have brought laughter, some tears, some anxiety, some peace...but most of all, more wisdom, more knowledge, more strength, and more tenacity and a knowing that what I set my mind, my heart, and my hand to do right now in this rough draft of "what I know" is the center-most point of its culmination.
INTENT is the MOTHER OF RISK....
The human race is constructed within and around a vast network of relationships. When others are involved in our "securities," our very life is centered around a series of risks we take. The only risk we will not EVER take is falling in line with what IS and clothing your actions in the right reasons. If I write this book with the intent of securing my financial future, I leave my destiny to RISK. If I write this book to gain notoriety, I reduce my experience to RISK. If the gain I reach for in writing this book is one of pleasure, my blood, sweat, and tears (literally) are given away to that temporary feeling. If I enter in with no preconceived notion, but do it because I AM it...I speak outside of EGO. I speak in my true voice. The thing I do is write..it is a gift given to me to allow my spirit to speak...it isn't the definition nor my label. Check your intent.
I do this because: It is in me to do and for NO other reason. I am not focused on any outcome...I am focused on the journey, the purpose, and unbeknownst to me at onset, the therapy.
What is it that calls to you and what gift do you possess to realize this calling? Everyone has one...everyone. And more importantly, what kind of service to others could you indeed be if you were to utilize it--OR--if you are utilizing it now, what reasons are you assigning to it? Are you reducing it to personal gain or are you spreading it and encouraging it to populate. Observe where your mind takes you in the silence.
Your TRUE heart lies where your mind frequently travels. If you feel lost and cannot find it, examine your intent, purify and refine it..."For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Landslide
This says it all...this is what it is all about...foolish feelings aside...concentrating on my work, my writing, my destiny. Been him-hawin' way too long...time to put my gift first, after all it is mine and I have put it up, admired it, dressed it up, talked about it, thought about it..it is now time to DO IT.
And if you see MY reflection...
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Signs, signs, everywhere a sign..
Hello folks!!
An equation that came to me this morning...see if you can find the answer:
Drive + kinetic energy + will = ?
Funny...but I have found that this equation developed by concentrating on the ANSWER!! And in examination of my life where it stands NOW, (until I started this blog), I felt there was a missing element. This morning, OUT OF THE BLUE..it came to me. Though the answer to this is a relative term and is really based upon each individual, it is as well UNIVERSAL...and this is how I KNOW that I know that I KNOW it is truth. I have actually realized this answer many times in my life...so I go back to examine how I reached it...and the one thing I had always subconsciously left out of it (but it WAS always present) was the term that popped into my head this morning..."kinetics", i.e., Physics, mathematics (dynamic), & chemistry. I was PRESENT, I had given my drive and my will MOTION. Now this blog, I do consider to be the kinetic energy of which I speak...however, the "answer" is not found HERE per se, but it IS motion of a distinct direction. I have had "signs" all around me that I have given my drive/determination and will WAY too much attention...but it is the kinetic energy that MUST be an EQUAL part of this equation that has been lacking. Was I DOING everything I could to realize my answer? NO! But, it is not in MY time...but when the time is RIGHT. I have laid a pretty sturdy foundation but now the foundation is complete. Now it is time to grab up those supplies that I have acquired and raise that HOUSE...time to sweat a little, set into MOTION, in equal measure with my drive and will....to REALIZE my answer to that ultimate question we all at some point in our lives reach..."what is and was the purpose of all of this." Everything we purpose to do in life is based on outcome...we already know the answer...but work through the equation to reach it.
This is how you know you are on your way to your purpose/calling/destiny.
1. When the succession of your triumphs grow larger and become more difficult.
2. When the mountains you strive to climb become more arduous, time consuming, and require more knowledge, more forethought, more "framework" to conquer---but the fear of them lessens.
3. When you set your mind to "prevention" and more carefully plan (using your time more wisely).
4. When your mind is fixated upon it night and day, it disrupts your sleep, attaches emotion to it, forces you to look back, look inside, look ahead. You feel a constant need to decode and decipher every circumstance you find yourself in...
5. AND WHEN, you can see clearly a thread linking it all together.
6. THEN WHEN you realize that ALL of that has LED YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, and has all gone in accord with the place you now find yourself...and yet you feel that something is missing.
7. AND FINALLY When the missing piece presents itself, you recognize it, you pack it up with the other pieces, throw it on your back and you RUN with it.
The answer: SUCCESS.
There are many equations that lead to this answer, as life is full of a lot of different scenarios...sometimes, we need to CHANGE the equation to suit the pending outcome. But one thing is for certain...TIME is an element that will ALWAYS be a part of any success. We have an overabundance of it...and when it starts running a little thin...we really need to stop wasting it.
"Do this, don't do that...can't you read the signs...."
An equation that came to me this morning...see if you can find the answer:
Drive + kinetic energy + will = ?
Funny...but I have found that this equation developed by concentrating on the ANSWER!! And in examination of my life where it stands NOW, (until I started this blog), I felt there was a missing element. This morning, OUT OF THE BLUE..it came to me. Though the answer to this is a relative term and is really based upon each individual, it is as well UNIVERSAL...and this is how I KNOW that I know that I KNOW it is truth. I have actually realized this answer many times in my life...so I go back to examine how I reached it...and the one thing I had always subconsciously left out of it (but it WAS always present) was the term that popped into my head this morning..."kinetics", i.e., Physics, mathematics (dynamic), & chemistry. I was PRESENT, I had given my drive and my will MOTION. Now this blog, I do consider to be the kinetic energy of which I speak...however, the "answer" is not found HERE per se, but it IS motion of a distinct direction. I have had "signs" all around me that I have given my drive/determination and will WAY too much attention...but it is the kinetic energy that MUST be an EQUAL part of this equation that has been lacking. Was I DOING everything I could to realize my answer? NO! But, it is not in MY time...but when the time is RIGHT. I have laid a pretty sturdy foundation but now the foundation is complete. Now it is time to grab up those supplies that I have acquired and raise that HOUSE...time to sweat a little, set into MOTION, in equal measure with my drive and will....to REALIZE my answer to that ultimate question we all at some point in our lives reach..."what is and was the purpose of all of this." Everything we purpose to do in life is based on outcome...we already know the answer...but work through the equation to reach it.
This is how you know you are on your way to your purpose/calling/destiny.
1. When the succession of your triumphs grow larger and become more difficult.
2. When the mountains you strive to climb become more arduous, time consuming, and require more knowledge, more forethought, more "framework" to conquer---but the fear of them lessens.
3. When you set your mind to "prevention" and more carefully plan (using your time more wisely).
4. When your mind is fixated upon it night and day, it disrupts your sleep, attaches emotion to it, forces you to look back, look inside, look ahead. You feel a constant need to decode and decipher every circumstance you find yourself in...
5. AND WHEN, you can see clearly a thread linking it all together.
6. THEN WHEN you realize that ALL of that has LED YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, and has all gone in accord with the place you now find yourself...and yet you feel that something is missing.
7. AND FINALLY When the missing piece presents itself, you recognize it, you pack it up with the other pieces, throw it on your back and you RUN with it.
The answer: SUCCESS.
There are many equations that lead to this answer, as life is full of a lot of different scenarios...sometimes, we need to CHANGE the equation to suit the pending outcome. But one thing is for certain...TIME is an element that will ALWAYS be a part of any success. We have an overabundance of it...and when it starts running a little thin...we really need to stop wasting it.
"Do this, don't do that...can't you read the signs...."
Sunday, October 16, 2011
My calling..
My vision's seat is love.
My guide is love.
I bleed for love.
I am convinced it is love.
If I travel to the depths and inspect each tiny crack of my very foundation,
If I run my fingers across all of those lines,
If I dare challenge myself with question and curiosity,
If I am blessed to recognize nuance of beauty in the midst of chaos,
If I set myself upon a star to search the wonders of the universe,
And...if I search to find my place and my purpose in it all, I find...
I am LOVE.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
The most valuable gifts are those given from the heart...
Good morning everyone!
I felt compelled to post this morning due to something special that happened to me last nite at work. I am SO emotional over this, it touched me SO deeply that I had to share it.
I had chance to meet last nite, two very special people. Though my encounter with them was brief and on a "professional level", the imprint they made on my heart is lasting.
From the beginning: I have lately had to change my manner of employment due to financial circumstances. Now, I have done what I am doing now before, but it had been SO many years in between that it was almost like "starting from scratch." Now I definitely have an outgoing, people-oriented personality, so that part of it came natural to me. However, the person I work for seems to "look" for mistakes, weakness, and makes no bones about letting you KNOW about them...and to date, I don't think I have ever heard a "positive comment" from this person to any of the employees there...it is always "what you need to do different, better", etc. Now this person, I am sure looks at this as "constructive" but after so much, it literally turns "destructive." You begin to feel that you cannot do anything right...EVER...and then the attitude begins to switch to "why do I even bother giving this person 110% when NONE of what I do WELL is ever recognized?" This seems to be a recurring theme in my life as a whole...one of which ALMOST makes you look at yourself and begin to believe that you are somehow defective. I KNOW better; however, and realize that I just seem to surround myself with people who build their self-esteem on control...that's all. But it still doesn't tame that "sting" of the constant negative banter...it does begin to beat you down.
Now last nite, I had an older couple come in whom I served. The lady was very petite, and spoke with a deep, classy southern draw. Her husband; however, did not. Now as I was back and forth to their table, we would engage in conversation. I spoke to the lady (in my best rendition of her accent) and said "Well, my, my, aren't you just a darlin' little southern belle" to which she smiled replied "Yes ma'am, Savannah Georgia, born and raised." Throughout the evening in our conversations, I learned that her husband was a native Western New Yorker but that they lived in Georgia and were here on a visit. I watched them toast each other with the wine they had ordered and saw very clearly the love in their eyes for one another...I was enamored by this couple.
When they had finished their meal, I boxed up for them what they could not finish, delivered their check, thanked them, and wished them a wonderful evening, a pleasant visit here, and a safe journey back home. The gentleman handed me the check with his money, said "you have been such a pleasure to talk with" and replied back "I enjoyed your company as well." I took the check/money to the register, cashed them out and noticed there was quite a large sum of change, so I returned it to the table. He looked up at me and said "Oh no darlin' that is for you." I teared up as I graciously, but hesitatntly accepted it and thanked them. When he spoke to me, he had a sort of "santa twinkle" in his eye...don't laugh...that is the truth...I NOTICE these things. Not sayin' he IS "santa"..(lol), just saying there was a spirit of understanding within him that spoke to me through his eyes.
As they got up to leave, I again wished them well, thanked them...and the little lady turned around and said "What is your name?"..I told her and asked their names. She repeated it and said to me "Ya know, I was tellin' my husband...'that girl is so beautiful and kind, she MUST have a pretty name.'" I gotta tell ya...I could barely hold it together at that point.
There are TIMES when you feel so UNRECOGNIZED, so OVERLOOKED, so ALONE...and then BAM...something like this happens JUST to let you KNOW you are valuable, you are recognized, and you are deserving.
THANK YOU Gretchen and Tom. Though my encounter with you was so very brief, how you made me FEEL will remain with me forever. I am so sad that I will probably never ever see you again but feel SO BLESSED that I was at the right place at the right time to feel back the kindness and love I always strive to give. You don't know how long I have waited for just this kind of affirmation...I am deeply touched by your kindness and your ability to SEE me. God bless you.
This quote below could very well be the reason I am so emotional over this encounter, I have no room to store this blessing...so it pours out from my heart in the form of tears and words on a website...
Malachi 3:10 “Bring the whole tithe to the storehouses, that there may be food in my house. ‘Test me in this,’ says the Lord Almighty, ‘and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.‘”
The lesson I learned is this: No matter how much someone else doesn't appreciate you, your efforts, your beliefs, your work ethic or the heart that lies "beneath" all of them, ALWAYS remain true to them even when you believe it would be easier to become what they believe OF you. Someone will come along who will recognize you AND appreciate that they have been fortunate enough to share a space in time with you...if only for a moment. Strength is built by "adding to", not taking away.
Much Love to my new friends... <3 xoxoxoxox <3 ME :)
I felt compelled to post this morning due to something special that happened to me last nite at work. I am SO emotional over this, it touched me SO deeply that I had to share it.
I had chance to meet last nite, two very special people. Though my encounter with them was brief and on a "professional level", the imprint they made on my heart is lasting.
Now last nite, I had an older couple come in whom I served. The lady was very petite, and spoke with a deep, classy southern draw. Her husband; however, did not. Now as I was back and forth to their table, we would engage in conversation. I spoke to the lady (in my best rendition of her accent) and said "Well, my, my, aren't you just a darlin' little southern belle" to which she smiled replied "Yes ma'am, Savannah Georgia, born and raised." Throughout the evening in our conversations, I learned that her husband was a native Western New Yorker but that they lived in Georgia and were here on a visit. I watched them toast each other with the wine they had ordered and saw very clearly the love in their eyes for one another...I was enamored by this couple.
When they had finished their meal, I boxed up for them what they could not finish, delivered their check, thanked them, and wished them a wonderful evening, a pleasant visit here, and a safe journey back home. The gentleman handed me the check with his money, said "you have been such a pleasure to talk with" and replied back "I enjoyed your company as well." I took the check/money to the register, cashed them out and noticed there was quite a large sum of change, so I returned it to the table. He looked up at me and said "Oh no darlin' that is for you." I teared up as I graciously, but hesitatntly accepted it and thanked them. When he spoke to me, he had a sort of "santa twinkle" in his eye...don't laugh...that is the truth...I NOTICE these things. Not sayin' he IS "santa"..(lol), just saying there was a spirit of understanding within him that spoke to me through his eyes.
As they got up to leave, I again wished them well, thanked them...and the little lady turned around and said "What is your name?"..I told her and asked their names. She repeated it and said to me "Ya know, I was tellin' my husband...'that girl is so beautiful and kind, she MUST have a pretty name.'" I gotta tell ya...I could barely hold it together at that point.
There are TIMES when you feel so UNRECOGNIZED, so OVERLOOKED, so ALONE...and then BAM...something like this happens JUST to let you KNOW you are valuable, you are recognized, and you are deserving.
THANK YOU Gretchen and Tom. Though my encounter with you was so very brief, how you made me FEEL will remain with me forever. I am so sad that I will probably never ever see you again but feel SO BLESSED that I was at the right place at the right time to feel back the kindness and love I always strive to give. You don't know how long I have waited for just this kind of affirmation...I am deeply touched by your kindness and your ability to SEE me. God bless you.
This quote below could very well be the reason I am so emotional over this encounter, I have no room to store this blessing...so it pours out from my heart in the form of tears and words on a website...
Malachi 3:10 “Bring the whole tithe to the storehouses, that there may be food in my house. ‘Test me in this,’ says the Lord Almighty, ‘and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.‘”
The lesson I learned is this: No matter how much someone else doesn't appreciate you, your efforts, your beliefs, your work ethic or the heart that lies "beneath" all of them, ALWAYS remain true to them even when you believe it would be easier to become what they believe OF you. Someone will come along who will recognize you AND appreciate that they have been fortunate enough to share a space in time with you...if only for a moment. Strength is built by "adding to", not taking away.
Much Love to my new friends... <3 xoxoxoxox <3 ME :)
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Mirror, mirror on the wall....
Good morning ya'll!!
I'm baaack!! HA! I sit here this morning and think "man, I am SUCH an observer!" I just sit back, watch & listen to EVERYTHING going on around me. I have recently joined an online group that is geared toward making people more "aware" and to promote self-realization. Kinda the same thing I do here...only the audience on this particular site is IMMENSE. It amazes me how many people are reaching for something meaningful in themselves and their lives. I find that my "delicacy" is hard to maintain; however, as the truth CAN BE, and often times IS brutal. One thing that sticks out to me in many of these scenarios I've had chance to study is how SELF-LIMITING we are. We blame all kinds of "other" things, people, and circumstances...but the barrier lies WITHIN. I couldn't help but think...if this person was in front of me right now, I would throw a bucket of water on them, or smack them, or do something to get their ATTENTION. Have we all become so SOFT that the only way we can be "spoken" to is in a whisper? Have we become so guarded that the only thing we can do is defend? Do we turn the word and act of compassion into some snuggly, cozy, comfortable, and warm thing...that stands in agreement with everything we say, believe, and do? Do we look at EVERY trial in our lives as "life trying to cheat me & beat me", so we can create a stage for blame, accusation, and justification? I must say...from where I sit...it certainly appears this way. THIS is the problem people...
I will paste something on here that I wrote and shared on my FB account some time back, as it is apropos..it is Entitled "Wake Up":
Wonder what would happen if we stopped categorizing and cataloging, and boxing everything up into our own little comfortable compartments, and began to see new ideas and discoveries as being a "part of" instead of an "alternative to." What if we could lend our conviction to acceptance...holy shit..we may discover that there is an entire UNIVERSE out there and we may even experience substantial and meaningful things on a daily basis...what a SHAME that would be!!
THIS is how I approach the truth...no sugar-coating, no pleasing-to-the-eye nothing...Why is it so difficult for people to just take responsibility for themselves? My answer to this would be CONDITIONING...societal role playing, a governmental and media hazing ceremony...only this isn't a sorority or fraternity...these are human beings...who belong to a higher order right down to our DNA that the world is trying to program. In order to control, you have to convince FIRST. And when the “things” society tricks you into depending upon fall through, then, they have you SO down on yourself that you have no energy to STAND UP and rise against…and ultimately, they turn the tables to make it look like it was all your fault. It is no wonder there is so much addiction, hopelessness, helplessness, mental illness in our world...it is the constant battle between the inside and the outside. Unfortunately, it is this type of conditioning that turns us against ourselves and each other. What many people just don't realize is that YOU HAVE IT IN YOU TO WIN!! You cannot look at yourself as something so small in the grand scheme of things and feel defeated by it immediately. There ARE a billion holes in these feeble constructs that are designed to control….find one, build your foundation, your fortress, your power. You are in control of YOUR LIFE...you may have to let down the ego a bit, let go of anger, pain, and confusion. There is no shame in ANYTHING that you set your hand to do IF you are doing it to the best of your ability, in truth, and assigning your OWN WORTH to it. The only power in holding on to negative energy is the power to further destroy...we actually believe that holding on to those same emotions that were "used against us" and building them even larger wields more power...and it does...but it only multiplies the power turned against yourself and will lead eventually to "self-destruction." Cuz to be honest with ya... the whatever or whomever you perceive to be the "offender" has no respect for you, your feelings, your struggle, or the aftermath in which you are left to deal with...your anger is of NO consequence and if it is, it is only in satisfaction in the kill/the win/the power OVER you. If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'. Turn all of the energy you are burning away to destroy yourself to BUILDING yourself.
I sometimes wonder if there are some who get it and some who just don't...and now I am "typing out loud"...Am I one of the only ones who ever get an epiphany, turn it inward to better control my own actions, my own words, my own circumstances, and ultimately my own destiny?
Life is tough...can't and won't ever argue that, but I just cannot afford to let what I believe to be my blessings be wasted in what appears to be the easier way out. You gotta work THROUGH it to ever RISE ABOVE it...period. There are no shortcuts, no way around...We are a team..a family..if there is no self-respect, there will be none drawn to you. If you don't respect yourself, you will never behave in a respectable manner, and therefore, you will never earn respect from others. You cannot DEMAND something of which is not earned...lay blame...and expect people to join you in your battle...it starts with self-control, self-respect, self-love...what you project, you attract. No one likes a hypocrite.
I'm baaack!! HA! I sit here this morning and think "man, I am SUCH an observer!" I just sit back, watch & listen to EVERYTHING going on around me. I have recently joined an online group that is geared toward making people more "aware" and to promote self-realization. Kinda the same thing I do here...only the audience on this particular site is IMMENSE. It amazes me how many people are reaching for something meaningful in themselves and their lives. I find that my "delicacy" is hard to maintain; however, as the truth CAN BE, and often times IS brutal. One thing that sticks out to me in many of these scenarios I've had chance to study is how SELF-LIMITING we are. We blame all kinds of "other" things, people, and circumstances...but the barrier lies WITHIN. I couldn't help but think...if this person was in front of me right now, I would throw a bucket of water on them, or smack them, or do something to get their ATTENTION. Have we all become so SOFT that the only way we can be "spoken" to is in a whisper? Have we become so guarded that the only thing we can do is defend? Do we turn the word and act of compassion into some snuggly, cozy, comfortable, and warm thing...that stands in agreement with everything we say, believe, and do? Do we look at EVERY trial in our lives as "life trying to cheat me & beat me", so we can create a stage for blame, accusation, and justification? I must say...from where I sit...it certainly appears this way. THIS is the problem people...
I will paste something on here that I wrote and shared on my FB account some time back, as it is apropos..it is Entitled "Wake Up":
Wonder what would happen if we stopped categorizing and cataloging, and boxing everything up into our own little comfortable compartments, and began to see new ideas and discoveries as being a "part of" instead of an "alternative to." What if we could lend our conviction to acceptance...holy shit..we may discover that there is an entire UNIVERSE out there and we may even experience substantial and meaningful things on a daily basis...what a SHAME that would be!!
THIS is how I approach the truth...no sugar-coating, no pleasing-to-the-eye nothing...Why is it so difficult for people to just take responsibility for themselves? My answer to this would be CONDITIONING...societal role playing, a governmental and media hazing ceremony...only this isn't a sorority or fraternity...these are human beings...who belong to a higher order right down to our DNA that the world is trying to program. In order to control, you have to convince FIRST. And when the “things” society tricks you into depending upon fall through, then, they have you SO down on yourself that you have no energy to STAND UP and rise against…and ultimately, they turn the tables to make it look like it was all your fault. It is no wonder there is so much addiction, hopelessness, helplessness, mental illness in our world...it is the constant battle between the inside and the outside. Unfortunately, it is this type of conditioning that turns us against ourselves and each other. What many people just don't realize is that YOU HAVE IT IN YOU TO WIN!! You cannot look at yourself as something so small in the grand scheme of things and feel defeated by it immediately. There ARE a billion holes in these feeble constructs that are designed to control….find one, build your foundation, your fortress, your power. You are in control of YOUR LIFE...you may have to let down the ego a bit, let go of anger, pain, and confusion. There is no shame in ANYTHING that you set your hand to do IF you are doing it to the best of your ability, in truth, and assigning your OWN WORTH to it. The only power in holding on to negative energy is the power to further destroy...we actually believe that holding on to those same emotions that were "used against us" and building them even larger wields more power...and it does...but it only multiplies the power turned against yourself and will lead eventually to "self-destruction." Cuz to be honest with ya... the whatever or whomever you perceive to be the "offender" has no respect for you, your feelings, your struggle, or the aftermath in which you are left to deal with...your anger is of NO consequence and if it is, it is only in satisfaction in the kill/the win/the power OVER you. If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'. Turn all of the energy you are burning away to destroy yourself to BUILDING yourself.
I sometimes wonder if there are some who get it and some who just don't...and now I am "typing out loud"...Am I one of the only ones who ever get an epiphany, turn it inward to better control my own actions, my own words, my own circumstances, and ultimately my own destiny?
Life is tough...can't and won't ever argue that, but I just cannot afford to let what I believe to be my blessings be wasted in what appears to be the easier way out. You gotta work THROUGH it to ever RISE ABOVE it...period. There are no shortcuts, no way around...We are a team..a family..if there is no self-respect, there will be none drawn to you. If you don't respect yourself, you will never behave in a respectable manner, and therefore, you will never earn respect from others. You cannot DEMAND something of which is not earned...lay blame...and expect people to join you in your battle...it starts with self-control, self-respect, self-love...what you project, you attract. No one likes a hypocrite.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
"The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand..."
Good Sunday evening to all.
It's been a few days since my last post, but I am one who will not come here and do this thang if it doesn't feel natural...if it is not already pouring out of me before I hit this stool. No point in small talk..this is not the venue for that. I rather prefer to keep this space sacred (for the lack of a better term), and unblemished by crap that just doesn't matter. As a matter of fact, I began this post this morning, and I had to just walk away from it and leave it be for a while because I know the point I set out to make, though I couldn't relay it without going round in circles. And, let's face it, nobody has time for that....you or I. What usually flows so effortlessly seems to be damming up on me and I can only believe that maybe the time is not yet right, or my understanding of it has not yet come full-circle.
One thing I can share right now (because I DO have this figured out!)...is that EVERYTHING I do, touch, embrace, or reach for at this time in my life is not designed to just "get me through today, this week, or this month"...but rather...it HAS to be in line with who I am, what I believe in, and ultimately, my destiny....and if it is NOT...I'm JUST not having it. It is useless to me. If something just doesn't feel right about it...it ENDS NOW...not tomorrow, not after I think about it a while, not next week. If it doesn't feel right now, I have LEARNED that it never will...and there is no excuse-making for me, the situation, or anyone else..if it is wrong for me, it is just wrong, PERIOD.
I have also figured out that forgiveness comes before peace and is a pre-requisite for it...however, trust is a different animal altogether, once gone, it cannot ever be retrieved back to the height from which it has fallen...EVER. Best to move on, let it go..and rebuild elsewhere than to live in regret and resentment. I am the only one who can control the situation I find myself in and have learned not to expect or rely on some circumstance or someone else to change it or themselves for me.
I'm all I got, and ya know what...I am gonna take care of me cuz I am a precious commodity. I don't have to discomfort myself to comfort someone else, I don't have to take away from me to give to someone else, and I certainly don't have to TRY to trust a situation or someone if the situation or person has proven that it/he/she is not worthy of it. Trying to trust when I KNOW I cannot only makes me lose confidence in my ability to trust MYSELF...and THAT is detrimental to ANY movement (well except for backward, of course). It becomes an endless cycle of revisiting painful places over and over again.
You have a gut for a reason...the feelings you get there SPEAK the truth...you have reasoning skills for a reason...the messages you receive there are concrete..but only IF you are acquainted with the difference between RIGHT and WRONG...TRUTH and LIES. DO NOT choose comfort or perceived need over your dignity and WELLBEING...It will never be worth it.
Just excuse yourself, go in peace...the stars are for reaching, the sky is not the limit...growth NEVER ends..allow yourself to BE yourself and surround yourself with those things that harmonize with your soul & spirit. If you find yourself believing that you have to fight for peace, love, and respect, you're in the wrong "ring"...and it's time to join the "circle."
Well, I guess that's it for today...not all that earthshaking...I know. But I started this post this morning, and I cannot leave anything undone and sleep well at night, nor would I just delete it because I KNEW that I had begun it and out of my sight isn't out of my mind.
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." ~e.e. cummings, 1955.
"All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself." ~Ralph Ellison
"The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike, and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune." ~Boris Pasternak
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." ~Harvey Fierstein
Best wishes for a restful sleep and a mind and heart of peace.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Raina
It's been a few days since my last post, but I am one who will not come here and do this thang if it doesn't feel natural...if it is not already pouring out of me before I hit this stool. No point in small talk..this is not the venue for that. I rather prefer to keep this space sacred (for the lack of a better term), and unblemished by crap that just doesn't matter. As a matter of fact, I began this post this morning, and I had to just walk away from it and leave it be for a while because I know the point I set out to make, though I couldn't relay it without going round in circles. And, let's face it, nobody has time for that....you or I. What usually flows so effortlessly seems to be damming up on me and I can only believe that maybe the time is not yet right, or my understanding of it has not yet come full-circle.
One thing I can share right now (because I DO have this figured out!)...is that EVERYTHING I do, touch, embrace, or reach for at this time in my life is not designed to just "get me through today, this week, or this month"...but rather...it HAS to be in line with who I am, what I believe in, and ultimately, my destiny....and if it is NOT...I'm JUST not having it. It is useless to me. If something just doesn't feel right about it...it ENDS NOW...not tomorrow, not after I think about it a while, not next week. If it doesn't feel right now, I have LEARNED that it never will...and there is no excuse-making for me, the situation, or anyone else..if it is wrong for me, it is just wrong, PERIOD.
I have also figured out that forgiveness comes before peace and is a pre-requisite for it...however, trust is a different animal altogether, once gone, it cannot ever be retrieved back to the height from which it has fallen...EVER. Best to move on, let it go..and rebuild elsewhere than to live in regret and resentment. I am the only one who can control the situation I find myself in and have learned not to expect or rely on some circumstance or someone else to change it or themselves for me.
I'm all I got, and ya know what...I am gonna take care of me cuz I am a precious commodity. I don't have to discomfort myself to comfort someone else, I don't have to take away from me to give to someone else, and I certainly don't have to TRY to trust a situation or someone if the situation or person has proven that it/he/she is not worthy of it. Trying to trust when I KNOW I cannot only makes me lose confidence in my ability to trust MYSELF...and THAT is detrimental to ANY movement (well except for backward, of course). It becomes an endless cycle of revisiting painful places over and over again.
You have a gut for a reason...the feelings you get there SPEAK the truth...you have reasoning skills for a reason...the messages you receive there are concrete..but only IF you are acquainted with the difference between RIGHT and WRONG...TRUTH and LIES. DO NOT choose comfort or perceived need over your dignity and WELLBEING...It will never be worth it.
Well, I guess that's it for today...not all that earthshaking...I know. But I started this post this morning, and I cannot leave anything undone and sleep well at night, nor would I just delete it because I KNEW that I had begun it and out of my sight isn't out of my mind.
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." ~e.e. cummings, 1955.
"All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself." ~Ralph Ellison
"The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike, and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune." ~Boris Pasternak
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." ~Harvey Fierstein
Best wishes for a restful sleep and a mind and heart of peace.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Raina
Thursday, October 6, 2011
The "threat" of humankind's promises.
Good morning!!
Well, I have finally done it...taken a step of the greatest expanse...hope and pray it pays off!! I figured, I have long legs...I can reach that far!! I didn't do high-hurdles and long-jump in Jr. High track for nothing...time to get them gams back in action!!
I've been a little disheartened the past couple of days and part of me was "prepared" for it...that part of me is ALWAYS prepared for it. Doesn't make it bother me any less...but I always know it's coming...or hoping it doesn't....and it is always attached to someone/something outside of myself...in the control of others...and I find AGAIN..that I just have to let it go, because that which is not in my control cannot occupy precious space among those things I can---one apple spoils the bunch!!
I am finding that a lot of this "letting go" is actually taking parts of me with it...but I am thinking that maybe these are parts that need recasting, strengthening, or are of just no good use to me anymore in whatever the universe has in store for me. It seems I am again wondering where I belong in all of this. I spend quite a bit of time in reflection (as if I had to tell you that!!), and I am tired of looking back, being hard on myself all the time, being my own worst critic, and trying to constantly LEARN and GROW and be the best me I can be...when there are PLENTY of people out there who are all but willing to do that FOR YOU.
I am in a "why bother" stage right now...and I hope it is only a short visit...I don't like it here..the company sucks, the food is rotten, and peace eludes me once again. But you may as well make the most of the visit, right...if you gotta be there!
This leap I have just mustered up the courage to take is more than a mere decision...it is a speaking out against a spirit of insufficiency, darkness, and outside CONTROL. I am sending out the war cry, believing it will be heard.
"Because with lies ye have made the heart of the righteous sad, whom I have not made sad; and strengthened the hands of the wicked, that he should not return from his wicked way, by promising him life"~Ezekiel 13:22.
Signed...
Following the light...always.
I've been a little disheartened the past couple of days and part of me was "prepared" for it...that part of me is ALWAYS prepared for it. Doesn't make it bother me any less...but I always know it's coming...or hoping it doesn't....and it is always attached to someone/something outside of myself...in the control of others...and I find AGAIN..that I just have to let it go, because that which is not in my control cannot occupy precious space among those things I can---one apple spoils the bunch!!
I am finding that a lot of this "letting go" is actually taking parts of me with it...but I am thinking that maybe these are parts that need recasting, strengthening, or are of just no good use to me anymore in whatever the universe has in store for me. It seems I am again wondering where I belong in all of this. I spend quite a bit of time in reflection (as if I had to tell you that!!), and I am tired of looking back, being hard on myself all the time, being my own worst critic, and trying to constantly LEARN and GROW and be the best me I can be...when there are PLENTY of people out there who are all but willing to do that FOR YOU.
I am in a "why bother" stage right now...and I hope it is only a short visit...I don't like it here..the company sucks, the food is rotten, and peace eludes me once again. But you may as well make the most of the visit, right...if you gotta be there!
This leap I have just mustered up the courage to take is more than a mere decision...it is a speaking out against a spirit of insufficiency, darkness, and outside CONTROL. I am sending out the war cry, believing it will be heard.
"Because with lies ye have made the heart of the righteous sad, whom I have not made sad; and strengthened the hands of the wicked, that he should not return from his wicked way, by promising him life"~Ezekiel 13:22.
Signed...
Following the light...always.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Nesting...
Mornin' everyone!
Well, this little cold/damp snap we are experiencing has me making out my "winterizing" to-do list! Last week (in my spare time), I organized. This week...I shall winterize!! I have not really implemented a whole lot of winterizing techniques in the past except for plastic on a select "few" windows, but this year...there will be NO crack left unattended!! With the exorbitant prices of propane this year coupled with half the income this household is accustomed to running on, it certainly will be in my very best interest to save as much of these precious resources as I possibly can!! I really HATE that money has taken such a role in promoting peace of mind in my life, but you'll have that from time to time in this economy, I guess (especially this time of year). Takes money to live...and LIVE we must! I figure that this is something that is completely within my control, so it lessens the anxiety a bit..ya do what ya gotta do, that's all!! Conserve, conserve, conserve, preparation and prevention is the name of the game. Those little things will help to keep the worry at bay a bit...do all that is within my power and of course, I would be amiss not to mention my best buddy...FAITH who picks up the slack of my will!! Preparing for the extra cost of winter, storing up, saving, and careful spending will serve to smooth the path a bit for the transition. It will be a challenge, but one I graciously accept and not only accept, but BELIEVE I can master.
As I type this morning, there are happenings that serve to help me in my endeavors...and THIS makes me smile...opportunities literally come knocking at my door and now the sun is beginning to shine and the view is a lot clearer. Thank you "powers that be" for knowing my needs and providing for me and mine!!
I must cut this short as my attention is being bid elsewhere...but to all who have stopped by this fine day...have a good one!!
Lotsa smiles from me to you!!
R
Well, this little cold/damp snap we are experiencing has me making out my "winterizing" to-do list! Last week (in my spare time), I organized. This week...I shall winterize!! I have not really implemented a whole lot of winterizing techniques in the past except for plastic on a select "few" windows, but this year...there will be NO crack left unattended!! With the exorbitant prices of propane this year coupled with half the income this household is accustomed to running on, it certainly will be in my very best interest to save as much of these precious resources as I possibly can!! I really HATE that money has taken such a role in promoting peace of mind in my life, but you'll have that from time to time in this economy, I guess (especially this time of year). Takes money to live...and LIVE we must! I figure that this is something that is completely within my control, so it lessens the anxiety a bit..ya do what ya gotta do, that's all!! Conserve, conserve, conserve, preparation and prevention is the name of the game. Those little things will help to keep the worry at bay a bit...do all that is within my power and of course, I would be amiss not to mention my best buddy...FAITH who picks up the slack of my will!! Preparing for the extra cost of winter, storing up, saving, and careful spending will serve to smooth the path a bit for the transition. It will be a challenge, but one I graciously accept and not only accept, but BELIEVE I can master.
As I type this morning, there are happenings that serve to help me in my endeavors...and THIS makes me smile...opportunities literally come knocking at my door and now the sun is beginning to shine and the view is a lot clearer. Thank you "powers that be" for knowing my needs and providing for me and mine!!
I must cut this short as my attention is being bid elsewhere...but to all who have stopped by this fine day...have a good one!!
Lotsa smiles from me to you!!
R
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Don't Stop BILLievin'
Since THIS is the only thing I can think about right now...and this video shows some AWESOME team history...I decided to let it do the talkin' for me....
Fire in the fireplace chasin' out the damp chillies, pizza and wings on order, the BEST company...a perfect day for some BILLS FOOTBALL!!
Have a great day everyone...
Thursday, September 29, 2011
"Time falls away...but these small hours, these little wonders still remain..."
Good Morning!
What a beautiful morning it is! As I look outside my big picture window this morning, it has been raining (a lot) and there is a soft, almost transparent layer of fog hovering over the landscape..and with the leaves changing, it almost looks like the picture of a serene bog out there. The sun doesn't always have to shine to consider a day beautiful...now does it??
I have made the MOST out of the last couple of days...have set aside some time for myself to do those things that needed to be done, but did them as if I WANTED to do them. It's all in the attitude people!! I organized those places that only the people who live here can see (that's been a long time comin'), I dug out all my fall decorations and adorned my home, inside and out with it's "Welcome Autumn" attire, made some of my family's very favorite soup, and baked up some fudge brownies with peanut butter chips!! Oh my! When I came down the stairs this morning to make my coffee, the house STILL smelled of all the wonderful aromas of cooking yesterday and when I got on FB, there was a little note of appreciation there to the "Italian Wedding Soup Fairy"...as I had left a serving for two with two slices of fresh Italian bread on the porch of a hard-working (and helpful) friend. I don't think my day could start out any more wonderful. I am truly blessed!! I cannot get my mind to stop fast-forwarding to Thanksgiving! LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!! Although, I shall not wish one single day away in doing so---I just look forward with a sense of happy anticipation.
There is something to be said for "tradition." I believe that it helps create a lasting bond between you and those you share these said "traditions" with. Though, sometimes, I think it gets a bad wrap! There are those who will argue that tradition is a "refusal to except change"...and to that I say...REALLY? Not so much. I guess it would depend upon which type of tradition we are talking about, I guess. Like "traditional" ROLES, absolutely..I could agree with THAT argument. But family-shared, or heart-held tradition...nah! I get SO much joy out of decorating my home for fall...it is such a simple, yet profoundly important thing for me to do. It makes me smile...I do it in celebration of my favorite season. AND, you can have all the other holidays, but THANKSGIVING is my baby! It is one of the least commercialized holidays...and it brings with it special memories with my family (and anyone else who wants to join...always room for one, two, or 6 more!!) I have photos from Thanksgivings past and there is an image or two of BURSTING laughter in every one of them!
I enjoy throwing the meal together and feeding everyone (as this has become one of the ways I LOVE people), falling into the customary (yet temporary) tryptophan "coma", and then awakening to gather around the kitchen (or dining room) table to play games and drink some beers (or your beverage of choice). There is football on the T.V. in the background, the guys with cell phones and/or computers at the ready tallying up their "fantasy points"...and beefing on each other! And I have LEARNED that even when you want the day to be MOST perfect, your sweet potato souffle (that you slaved tirelessly over) will BLOW up, your squash will explode, etc. True story! BUT...it doesn't ever dampen the reason for the season! FAMILY..LOVE..and GIVING.
As I write this morning, the sun is beginning to make it's appearance through the fog...so I guess we get the best of both worlds this fine morning.
What a beautiful morning it is! As I look outside my big picture window this morning, it has been raining (a lot) and there is a soft, almost transparent layer of fog hovering over the landscape..and with the leaves changing, it almost looks like the picture of a serene bog out there. The sun doesn't always have to shine to consider a day beautiful...now does it??
I have made the MOST out of the last couple of days...have set aside some time for myself to do those things that needed to be done, but did them as if I WANTED to do them. It's all in the attitude people!! I organized those places that only the people who live here can see (that's been a long time comin'), I dug out all my fall decorations and adorned my home, inside and out with it's "Welcome Autumn" attire, made some of my family's very favorite soup, and baked up some fudge brownies with peanut butter chips!! Oh my! When I came down the stairs this morning to make my coffee, the house STILL smelled of all the wonderful aromas of cooking yesterday and when I got on FB, there was a little note of appreciation there to the "Italian Wedding Soup Fairy"...as I had left a serving for two with two slices of fresh Italian bread on the porch of a hard-working (and helpful) friend. I don't think my day could start out any more wonderful. I am truly blessed!! I cannot get my mind to stop fast-forwarding to Thanksgiving! LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!! Although, I shall not wish one single day away in doing so---I just look forward with a sense of happy anticipation.
There is something to be said for "tradition." I believe that it helps create a lasting bond between you and those you share these said "traditions" with. Though, sometimes, I think it gets a bad wrap! There are those who will argue that tradition is a "refusal to except change"...and to that I say...REALLY? Not so much. I guess it would depend upon which type of tradition we are talking about, I guess. Like "traditional" ROLES, absolutely..I could agree with THAT argument. But family-shared, or heart-held tradition...nah! I get SO much joy out of decorating my home for fall...it is such a simple, yet profoundly important thing for me to do. It makes me smile...I do it in celebration of my favorite season. AND, you can have all the other holidays, but THANKSGIVING is my baby! It is one of the least commercialized holidays...and it brings with it special memories with my family (and anyone else who wants to join...always room for one, two, or 6 more!!) I have photos from Thanksgivings past and there is an image or two of BURSTING laughter in every one of them!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
"Make My Way Back Home and Learn to Fly..."
Well hello everyone!
I won't take up a WHOLE lot of your time today. I just had to share with you that "taking my own advice" is working SPLENDIDLY for me!! I have mentioned in previous posts that I have begun some larger networking, and as small as what I witnessed and read with my very OWN two eyes yesterday may have been in considering the grander scheme of things, it was a sign--a sign of progress in my endeavor. I cannot tell you how much encouragement I received from this. I will NOT spill any deets YET, but as SOON as I get some SOLID, undeniable feedback that my work in this is paying off....I will definitely share it with all of you, who in part, have really assisted me along the way.
There comes a time when you can look back on all the suffering, the frustration, the confusion, and (perceived) wasted time and say "I am GLAD I went through all of that" and willingly embrace the challenges ahead (being much better-prepared for them) and REALIZE that how you COME OUT of them really proves what you are made of! What a liberating feeling! Doors SLAM for a reason! Others open for a reason. MARCH through them...don't question, don't fear, and don't WORRY..eyes straight ahead...don't look back...because at this point, you already KNOW where you are going...putting 2 & 2 together is child's play.
Again, I thank you all. Just having you stop by and visit (with eyes from all over the WORLD) has kept me focused!
I wish for you:
BRAVERY in your hour of contention.
CLARITY in the midst of conflict & confusion.
A VOICE among the silent.
A PATH when you've lost sense of direction.
FORESIGHT enough to see it.
COURAGE enough to take hold of it.
AND STRENGTH to OWN it.
It is YOURS for the taking. Be bold, be tough, be resilient...
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Yep, that just about SAYS IT ALL RIGHT THERE!!
Peace!!
I won't take up a WHOLE lot of your time today. I just had to share with you that "taking my own advice" is working SPLENDIDLY for me!! I have mentioned in previous posts that I have begun some larger networking, and as small as what I witnessed and read with my very OWN two eyes yesterday may have been in considering the grander scheme of things, it was a sign--a sign of progress in my endeavor. I cannot tell you how much encouragement I received from this. I will NOT spill any deets YET, but as SOON as I get some SOLID, undeniable feedback that my work in this is paying off....I will definitely share it with all of you, who in part, have really assisted me along the way.
There comes a time when you can look back on all the suffering, the frustration, the confusion, and (perceived) wasted time and say "I am GLAD I went through all of that" and willingly embrace the challenges ahead (being much better-prepared for them) and REALIZE that how you COME OUT of them really proves what you are made of! What a liberating feeling! Doors SLAM for a reason! Others open for a reason. MARCH through them...don't question, don't fear, and don't WORRY..eyes straight ahead...don't look back...because at this point, you already KNOW where you are going...putting 2 & 2 together is child's play.
Again, I thank you all. Just having you stop by and visit (with eyes from all over the WORLD) has kept me focused!
I wish for you:
BRAVERY in your hour of contention.
CLARITY in the midst of conflict & confusion.
A VOICE among the silent.
A PATH when you've lost sense of direction.
FORESIGHT enough to see it.
COURAGE enough to take hold of it.
AND STRENGTH to OWN it.
It is YOURS for the taking. Be bold, be tough, be resilient...
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Yep, that just about SAYS IT ALL RIGHT THERE!!
Peace!!
Monday, September 26, 2011
How bout a little wine-tasting with your star-gazing...Don't mind if I do!
Hello everyone!
It's Monday morning, and I was up pretty early because I have all kinds of thoughts running through my mind that need to be purged...LUCKY YOU!!
Lately, I have been a multitasking maniac. Been cleaning out the "closets", getting rid of the things that don't work that have taken up precious space for way too long. I've been doing some networking, bringing in some NEW, working things to replace the old, been polishing up those valuable things that have been tossed aside and gathering dust while I was SO BUSY trying to get those BROKEN things to work again...all the TIME I invested in those things only to find, they had seen their day and even I, could not will them to live again (imagine THAT!!) And what about those "valuable" things that lay unattended to in my mission to FIX that which could NOT be fixed? Man, how shiny they have become since I have given them the attention they deserve...all polished up, lookin' pretty, reflecting light instead of just absorbing it. The new things I speak of that I have brought in are nothing more than DISPLAYS for those things of value I have kept and came back to..and because I have gotten rid of all the useless things, I actually have the space to DISPLAY them!! What a revelation! And even more a revelation is that ANY epiphany comes in the midst of our "low times", our heartbreak, our confusion, our depression, and WHEN we begin to search for it in the healing process.
Taking OFF the old wine skins now. Very powerful thought right here...."If you are in a room, and you seem to be the one everybody comes to for support, for advice, for information, for a shoulder to cry on....YOU ARE IN THE WRONG ROOM!!!"~ T.D. Jakes. Funny how this again coincides with what I have been doing in my life. It is NOW time for MY blessing! So I am taking this time to prepare for it. "Idle hands are the devil's workshop."--INDEED.
I've seen a complete shift in what has become my lifelong paradigm. My empathetic/empathic and compassionate disposition has always been one to "reach out" all the time. I have given when I didn't think I had anything to spare...but I never cared...I just kept on giving. What I have come to realize is that if you give someone something from nothing...how valuable is it really? I have always kind of looked at myself as a vessel that NEVER empties, I just keep pouring, and pouring, and substance DOES come out, but how RICH is it?? How seasoned can it be if it is not given the time it needs to steep and absorb to become rich? Water will sustain you and keep you alive...BUT WINE is FRUIT + water...so today, I am throwin' some fruit up in that water and GIVING it TIME to AGE.
I am now networking on a much grander scale, branching out, and settling for nothing less than people who work "WITH" me, bring something that I don't KNOW to the table, and offering something to them something they may not be aware of...it is give and take and this is what constitutes a productive "partnership." Being the one people always come to is something valuable to achieve, as you are looked upon with great esteem; however, when I begin to esteem myself less as they esteem me more, it means my lifeblood and "stored" nutrients are being given to sustain someone else's life...and if I am to KEEP giving this "substance", I FIRST need to allow it to season so that I may absorb some myself, or what I have left will only serve to SUSTAIN me and those to whom I offer it...it will lose it's ability to EMPOWER for the best possible outcome..as it becomes watered-down. To lend tangible aspect to this metaphoric message...ponder this question: "should a woman with child deny herself food and starve herself?" And if she doesn't take in proper nutrients during her pregnancy, what happens?
I am reaching for the stars these days, going BIG and NOT staying home. It is TIME to embrace the grander SCALE of my life. I am almost ready, but in the meantime, I prepare...and allow myself time to be encouraged in this preparation...because something bout to BLOW up in here...I can FEEL it...everything is moving forward at time-warp speed. I have come SO far in such a short period of time, and I would have to believe that it is because IT IS TIME. I cannot just sit around and wait for it to happen...I have to be proactive in MAKING it happen..the plan is there...the manner in which I achieve it is all in the preparation and networking.
In lieu of the "standard" quotes that I usually insert at the end of my posts...today, I would like to give ya'll a fun little fact...and then challenge you to "read into it" metaphorically:
One of the short-term aging needs of wine is a period where the wine is considered "sick" due to the trauma and volatility of the bottling experience. During bottling some oxygen is exposed to the wine, causing a domino effect of chemical reaction with various components of the wine. The time it takes for the wine to settle down and have the oxygen fully dissolve and integrate with the wine is considered its period of "bottle shock". During this time the wine could taste drastically different than it did prior to bottling or how it will taste after the wine has settled. While many modern bottling lines try to treat the wine as gently as possible and utilize inert gases to minimize the amount of oxygen exposure, all wine goes through some period of bottle shock. The length of this period will vary with each individual wine.
Ya'll have a great day out there, where-ever you are...cuz I plan on it!! SALUTE!
It's Monday morning, and I was up pretty early because I have all kinds of thoughts running through my mind that need to be purged...LUCKY YOU!!
Lately, I have been a multitasking maniac. Been cleaning out the "closets", getting rid of the things that don't work that have taken up precious space for way too long. I've been doing some networking, bringing in some NEW, working things to replace the old, been polishing up those valuable things that have been tossed aside and gathering dust while I was SO BUSY trying to get those BROKEN things to work again...all the TIME I invested in those things only to find, they had seen their day and even I, could not will them to live again (imagine THAT!!) And what about those "valuable" things that lay unattended to in my mission to FIX that which could NOT be fixed? Man, how shiny they have become since I have given them the attention they deserve...all polished up, lookin' pretty, reflecting light instead of just absorbing it. The new things I speak of that I have brought in are nothing more than DISPLAYS for those things of value I have kept and came back to..and because I have gotten rid of all the useless things, I actually have the space to DISPLAY them!! What a revelation! And even more a revelation is that ANY epiphany comes in the midst of our "low times", our heartbreak, our confusion, our depression, and WHEN we begin to search for it in the healing process.
Taking OFF the old wine skins now. Very powerful thought right here...."If you are in a room, and you seem to be the one everybody comes to for support, for advice, for information, for a shoulder to cry on....YOU ARE IN THE WRONG ROOM!!!"~ T.D. Jakes. Funny how this again coincides with what I have been doing in my life. It is NOW time for MY blessing! So I am taking this time to prepare for it. "Idle hands are the devil's workshop."--INDEED.
I've seen a complete shift in what has become my lifelong paradigm. My empathetic/empathic and compassionate disposition has always been one to "reach out" all the time. I have given when I didn't think I had anything to spare...but I never cared...I just kept on giving. What I have come to realize is that if you give someone something from nothing...how valuable is it really? I have always kind of looked at myself as a vessel that NEVER empties, I just keep pouring, and pouring, and substance DOES come out, but how RICH is it?? How seasoned can it be if it is not given the time it needs to steep and absorb to become rich? Water will sustain you and keep you alive...BUT WINE is FRUIT + water...so today, I am throwin' some fruit up in that water and GIVING it TIME to AGE.
I am now networking on a much grander scale, branching out, and settling for nothing less than people who work "WITH" me, bring something that I don't KNOW to the table, and offering something to them something they may not be aware of...it is give and take and this is what constitutes a productive "partnership." Being the one people always come to is something valuable to achieve, as you are looked upon with great esteem; however, when I begin to esteem myself less as they esteem me more, it means my lifeblood and "stored" nutrients are being given to sustain someone else's life...and if I am to KEEP giving this "substance", I FIRST need to allow it to season so that I may absorb some myself, or what I have left will only serve to SUSTAIN me and those to whom I offer it...it will lose it's ability to EMPOWER for the best possible outcome..as it becomes watered-down. To lend tangible aspect to this metaphoric message...ponder this question: "should a woman with child deny herself food and starve herself?" And if she doesn't take in proper nutrients during her pregnancy, what happens?
I am reaching for the stars these days, going BIG and NOT staying home. It is TIME to embrace the grander SCALE of my life. I am almost ready, but in the meantime, I prepare...and allow myself time to be encouraged in this preparation...because something bout to BLOW up in here...I can FEEL it...everything is moving forward at time-warp speed. I have come SO far in such a short period of time, and I would have to believe that it is because IT IS TIME. I cannot just sit around and wait for it to happen...I have to be proactive in MAKING it happen..the plan is there...the manner in which I achieve it is all in the preparation and networking.
In lieu of the "standard" quotes that I usually insert at the end of my posts...today, I would like to give ya'll a fun little fact...and then challenge you to "read into it" metaphorically:
One of the short-term aging needs of wine is a period where the wine is considered "sick" due to the trauma and volatility of the bottling experience. During bottling some oxygen is exposed to the wine, causing a domino effect of chemical reaction with various components of the wine. The time it takes for the wine to settle down and have the oxygen fully dissolve and integrate with the wine is considered its period of "bottle shock". During this time the wine could taste drastically different than it did prior to bottling or how it will taste after the wine has settled. While many modern bottling lines try to treat the wine as gently as possible and utilize inert gases to minimize the amount of oxygen exposure, all wine goes through some period of bottle shock. The length of this period will vary with each individual wine.
Ya'll have a great day out there, where-ever you are...cuz I plan on it!! SALUTE!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Oh NO she di-ent....Stargazing, PART II
Good Sunday morning people!!
As I promise, so I deliver...Part II of Star-gazing...
As I read through my post from yesterday, I touched briefly upon a quote from Mark Chironna that pertained to negative/positive reinforcement and added to it a twist of sorts, where it is my stance that if you are WHOLE within yourself, that neither of the two really have the POWER to condemn nor create. With that being said...there are two sides to this and it is really a double-edged sword. There is the giver and the receiver, there is the reflector and the reflectee and for any negative or positive reinforcement to "take a hold" on anyone, the "conditions" have to be right.
In this type of dynamic, it is IMPORTANT to realize that who you are, and the inner work you have done to become who you are lies only in how you VIEW YOURSELF. It comes from the sometimes VERY uncomfortable task of LOOKING deeply within yourself, being completely honest with yourself, and laying your ego aside, feeling ashamed of yourself for mistakes made...BUT THEN, redeeming yourself in them the NEXT time you are faced with a similar situation by doing things differently. The feeling that comes from changing mistakes made in the past going into the future, creates a feeling of positive reinforcement in YOURSELF that cannot ever be touched by an opinion or a nice gesture from another. Please don't misunderstand...I am in no way saying that your efforts being recognized by another are of no use or value...but it is HOW we use it and where the value lies that matters. This is how we know the difference...if we are HUMBLED by a "compliment" or if we are nurtured by it. If we, in the latter, become "dependent" upon this type of positive feedback from others...how easy is it to slip into a pattern of "addiction" to this very thing...and we all know what addiction does...it creates tunnel vision and it becomes the ONLY thing that matters...and we will DO ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to GET IT. This is what creates the IMBALANCE in all of this. We place WAY too much importance upon this "positive reinforcement" from others, when really, all we will ever need or want CAN be found within. If you have the strength to resist the temptation to fall into NEEDING this type of thing from others and USE it only to verify and solidify those efforts that YOU alone have put forth FOR YOU, and it propels you to keep on with the mission of growth and autonomy, then it has no choice but to lead to genuine altruism, and in this, there is NO selfishness.
So, we have established that the person whole within themselves really doesn't expect or go about life needing the acceptance or fanfare from another. They do not put others in a position of reflection because they take the responsibility for how they themselves reflect.
What about those who are not whole, or have become dependent upon the nurturing qualities of constant positive feedback? Is it the "whole" person's responsibility to take on this kind of task? NO. It is not. What kind of feedback do you think that these people have gotten within their lifetime from others---AND...here is the million dollar question..."does this have as much to do with the way they view themselves, their lives, and others as HOW THEY VIEW THEMSELVES? There are people out there who have had the BEST of opportunities laid out before them, have had supportive and nurturing relationships in childhood through adulthood..who have had "positive reinforcement" OUT THE YING-YANG who become one who searches for constant reinforcement, constant admiration, right? WHY? Because if you ENABLE someone to become dependent upon your VALUE of them, they NEVER have a chance to seek out the value in themselves. So here is a HIT on positive reinforcement...there can be TOO MUCH..we strive to achieve BALANCE.
I take what others say to me and of me with a grain of salt because they do not know me like I know myself. They do not know that I am my own worst critic, they do not realize that nothing they say can effect me any deeper than those things I say to myself. I don't need their "assistance" one way or the other because my MISSION in this life is to HELP myself, improve myself. I already KNOW where I need to improve, the mistakes I have made, the progress I am making or lacking, and what needs to be DONE to alleviate the feelings I already HAVE of myself for the above mentioned and what plan of action I am going to execute to change those things. I also find that when someone pays me a compliment or thanks me for something I've done or said, I feel guilty that I have solicited that kind of "praise" from them, and will often say "please don't thank me for that"....It humbles me...and YES, it does make me feel valued but ONLY in the manner that it endorses that how I view and know myself is in congruence with how I am seen and known, which is the "inside out" concept. It The flip side of this (of course) is backwards "this is how I am seen and known, therefore, this who I strive to become." In one scenario the foundation is BUILT...in the other..it is under CONSTANT construction.
So to wrap this up kids.... INTERDEPENDENCE VS. INDEPENDENCE. Exclude the middle-man.
Good day...blessings and best wishes to all.
As I promise, so I deliver...Part II of Star-gazing...
As I read through my post from yesterday, I touched briefly upon a quote from Mark Chironna that pertained to negative/positive reinforcement and added to it a twist of sorts, where it is my stance that if you are WHOLE within yourself, that neither of the two really have the POWER to condemn nor create. With that being said...there are two sides to this and it is really a double-edged sword. There is the giver and the receiver, there is the reflector and the reflectee and for any negative or positive reinforcement to "take a hold" on anyone, the "conditions" have to be right.
In this type of dynamic, it is IMPORTANT to realize that who you are, and the inner work you have done to become who you are lies only in how you VIEW YOURSELF. It comes from the sometimes VERY uncomfortable task of LOOKING deeply within yourself, being completely honest with yourself, and laying your ego aside, feeling ashamed of yourself for mistakes made...BUT THEN, redeeming yourself in them the NEXT time you are faced with a similar situation by doing things differently. The feeling that comes from changing mistakes made in the past going into the future, creates a feeling of positive reinforcement in YOURSELF that cannot ever be touched by an opinion or a nice gesture from another. Please don't misunderstand...I am in no way saying that your efforts being recognized by another are of no use or value...but it is HOW we use it and where the value lies that matters. This is how we know the difference...if we are HUMBLED by a "compliment" or if we are nurtured by it. If we, in the latter, become "dependent" upon this type of positive feedback from others...how easy is it to slip into a pattern of "addiction" to this very thing...and we all know what addiction does...it creates tunnel vision and it becomes the ONLY thing that matters...and we will DO ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to GET IT. This is what creates the IMBALANCE in all of this. We place WAY too much importance upon this "positive reinforcement" from others, when really, all we will ever need or want CAN be found within. If you have the strength to resist the temptation to fall into NEEDING this type of thing from others and USE it only to verify and solidify those efforts that YOU alone have put forth FOR YOU, and it propels you to keep on with the mission of growth and autonomy, then it has no choice but to lead to genuine altruism, and in this, there is NO selfishness.
So, we have established that the person whole within themselves really doesn't expect or go about life needing the acceptance or fanfare from another. They do not put others in a position of reflection because they take the responsibility for how they themselves reflect.
What about those who are not whole, or have become dependent upon the nurturing qualities of constant positive feedback? Is it the "whole" person's responsibility to take on this kind of task? NO. It is not. What kind of feedback do you think that these people have gotten within their lifetime from others---AND...here is the million dollar question..."does this have as much to do with the way they view themselves, their lives, and others as HOW THEY VIEW THEMSELVES? There are people out there who have had the BEST of opportunities laid out before them, have had supportive and nurturing relationships in childhood through adulthood..who have had "positive reinforcement" OUT THE YING-YANG who become one who searches for constant reinforcement, constant admiration, right? WHY? Because if you ENABLE someone to become dependent upon your VALUE of them, they NEVER have a chance to seek out the value in themselves. So here is a HIT on positive reinforcement...there can be TOO MUCH..we strive to achieve BALANCE.
I take what others say to me and of me with a grain of salt because they do not know me like I know myself. They do not know that I am my own worst critic, they do not realize that nothing they say can effect me any deeper than those things I say to myself. I don't need their "assistance" one way or the other because my MISSION in this life is to HELP myself, improve myself. I already KNOW where I need to improve, the mistakes I have made, the progress I am making or lacking, and what needs to be DONE to alleviate the feelings I already HAVE of myself for the above mentioned and what plan of action I am going to execute to change those things. I also find that when someone pays me a compliment or thanks me for something I've done or said, I feel guilty that I have solicited that kind of "praise" from them, and will often say "please don't thank me for that"....It humbles me...and YES, it does make me feel valued but ONLY in the manner that it endorses that how I view and know myself is in congruence with how I am seen and known, which is the "inside out" concept. It The flip side of this (of course) is backwards "this is how I am seen and known, therefore, this who I strive to become." In one scenario the foundation is BUILT...in the other..it is under CONSTANT construction.
So to wrap this up kids.... INTERDEPENDENCE VS. INDEPENDENCE. Exclude the middle-man.
Good day...blessings and best wishes to all.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Anyone up for a little star-gazing???
Good Morning Everyone!!
Well, there has been a lot of traffic here lately...so I guess I better get back to givin' ya'll something new a little more often to make your visit a little more worth-while! Thank you again to everyone who shows an interest and/or shares the same sort of philosophy for stopping by. I am sure that at times, it is like de-coding even further the mind-bending thoughts that I ATTEMPT to decode for you!! Sometimes, it is SO difficult to put such detailed messages into simple form, but I do my very best. And again, I encourage any comments you may have about anything I have written here.
Okay...let's get into it, shall we?
Yesterday, a friend of mine (who often times shares inspirational messages on FB) posted a little snippet of a message by a man named Mark Chironna that read:
"Congruence has a magnetizing effect on desired opportunities. You have already known the power of both positive and negative reinforcement. When something is negatively reinforced, creativity and the ability to respond with confidence diminishes progressively the more the negative reinforcement is applied. When positive reinforcement is experienced, there is a measured increase in creativity, confidence, and success."
My reply:
THIS is SO true. I have been experiencing this myself (negative) and it leaves you feeling so defeated...but the saving grace in negative reinforcement is "clear knowledge of SELF" KNOWING that you are NOT what people say you are or try to make you believe you are...yes, words have power to defeat...but only in those who take someone else's word over their own about THEMSELVES as truth. Victory is only inevitable to those who KNOW better of themselves!! Anything OUTSIDE...I prefer to keep there. Inside out is the proper way of life...despite the mental picture we get when we think of the term...but isn't this the way society wants us to believe? WHOLE within your self abolishes the need for "reinforcement" of any kind. In a perfect world, we SHOULD reach out to others in a positive and uplifting manner...but can we really DO this until we have done this within ourselves first and with that in mind, are we responsible for the attitudes of those who haven't?? And if the haters don't like it...too damn bad.
A lot of times, and really in most cases, if you know you are giving 110% to something (anything) and it is recognized by the majority surrounding you...and there is ONE nay-sayer in the bunch; BUT this nay-sayer is the major player in the scenario, whose opinion really matters to you...for example: Your boss, your husband/wife, your mother/father, etc., where you feel an immense responsibility to have your efforts recognized in some manner, the negativity can have a devastating impact upon YOUR psyche and make you think "Ya know, I don't even know why I bother." Anyone will argue that there are areas in everyone's life where you really have to make an "impression." An employer will give you an opportunity to do this...a potential husband/wife will give you an opportunity to do this, your parents will give you an opportunity to do this. It is just the way we've been conditioned to get through life. We have to PROVE that WE have what it takes over Joe Shmoe to EARN our spot. Everyone wants to know that they have the very BEST candidate for the task at hand, but WHY? Efficiency? I claim that this is only PART of the reason. Yes, in business, it could even be the #1 reason...but doesn't "reflection" also play a very large role in this all? Doesn't how your employees perform reflect back upon you? Doesn't how your children behave reflect back upon you? YES. Can any ONE of us be PERFECT? Absolutely NOT! BUT, is this our expectation of others? Are there not those out there who will EXPECT someone else to do what they are NOT willing to do...who live by the premise of "do as I say, not as I do," and will lay the responsibility of the way THEY are perceived by others UPON others? Again, the biggest hole in this picture is PERSONAL responsibility and those who shrug theirs are probably most often the culprits of trying to tear down someone else's VERY BEST efforts because deep down inside (no matter the "surface purpose"), they realize that this person out-performs them, out-thinks them, and gathers the recognition for this THEMSELVES because, really...they OWN it. Enter jealousy, envy, and low self-esteem....yes...these "guests" often come uninvited don't they...they are psyche-crashers and the result of viewing life from an OUTSIDE IN perspective and because they begin to tear at someone's very IMAGE, they need a route of escape...and more often than not, they will be directed to the person (or people) they are most envious of. It is a really touchy dynamic really...and if you read deeply into what I have just written...it is a NO-WIN situation. Now, you are in a position where you are damned if you do and damned of you don't. This is WHY fully realizing YOUR potential, YOUR limitations, and YOURself as a whole is so important in keeping yourself emotionally and mentally healthy and productive. This is the only thing that keeps those feelings of inadequacy given to you BY others a "temporary status" in your psyche and actually FUELS within you the need to continue to build within you an unwavering foundation upon which to stand in the face of adversity.
OHHHHH...you all don't have TIME to eat all of this up in one setting!! I am going to split this message up into parts for ya so you can have time to digest... I believe this is a VERY important topic and one I have much experience in. Stay tuned my faithful "We are ONE first" readers...I promise there will be dessert offered at the end of THIS meal!! And after you get done reading this...go back to my "Music and Art" post, and listen to some REO and gather up some eye-candy with the great art in the video and let it all steep...for some reason, that song and the artwork displayed as a backdrop is reverberating in my mind as I write!!
"Self-realization is much like a telescopic view of a star...seeing and recognizing the intricacies that often go unnoticed by the naked eye due to the immense distance between."~Rainamay.
Have a GREAT weekend everyone...much love and encouragement from your friend...always..
Well, there has been a lot of traffic here lately...so I guess I better get back to givin' ya'll something new a little more often to make your visit a little more worth-while! Thank you again to everyone who shows an interest and/or shares the same sort of philosophy for stopping by. I am sure that at times, it is like de-coding even further the mind-bending thoughts that I ATTEMPT to decode for you!! Sometimes, it is SO difficult to put such detailed messages into simple form, but I do my very best. And again, I encourage any comments you may have about anything I have written here.
Okay...let's get into it, shall we?
Yesterday, a friend of mine (who often times shares inspirational messages on FB) posted a little snippet of a message by a man named Mark Chironna that read:
"Congruence has a magnetizing effect on desired opportunities. You have already known the power of both positive and negative reinforcement. When something is negatively reinforced, creativity and the ability to respond with confidence diminishes progressively the more the negative reinforcement is applied. When positive reinforcement is experienced, there is a measured increase in creativity, confidence, and success."
My reply:
THIS is SO true. I have been experiencing this myself (negative) and it leaves you feeling so defeated...but the saving grace in negative reinforcement is "clear knowledge of SELF" KNOWING that you are NOT what people say you are or try to make you believe you are...yes, words have power to defeat...but only in those who take someone else's word over their own about THEMSELVES as truth. Victory is only inevitable to those who KNOW better of themselves!! Anything OUTSIDE...I prefer to keep there. Inside out is the proper way of life...despite the mental picture we get when we think of the term...but isn't this the way society wants us to believe? WHOLE within your self abolishes the need for "reinforcement" of any kind. In a perfect world, we SHOULD reach out to others in a positive and uplifting manner...but can we really DO this until we have done this within ourselves first and with that in mind, are we responsible for the attitudes of those who haven't?? And if the haters don't like it...too damn bad.
A lot of times, and really in most cases, if you know you are giving 110% to something (anything) and it is recognized by the majority surrounding you...and there is ONE nay-sayer in the bunch; BUT this nay-sayer is the major player in the scenario, whose opinion really matters to you...for example: Your boss, your husband/wife, your mother/father, etc., where you feel an immense responsibility to have your efforts recognized in some manner, the negativity can have a devastating impact upon YOUR psyche and make you think "Ya know, I don't even know why I bother." Anyone will argue that there are areas in everyone's life where you really have to make an "impression." An employer will give you an opportunity to do this...a potential husband/wife will give you an opportunity to do this, your parents will give you an opportunity to do this. It is just the way we've been conditioned to get through life. We have to PROVE that WE have what it takes over Joe Shmoe to EARN our spot. Everyone wants to know that they have the very BEST candidate for the task at hand, but WHY? Efficiency? I claim that this is only PART of the reason. Yes, in business, it could even be the #1 reason...but doesn't "reflection" also play a very large role in this all? Doesn't how your employees perform reflect back upon you? Doesn't how your children behave reflect back upon you? YES. Can any ONE of us be PERFECT? Absolutely NOT! BUT, is this our expectation of others? Are there not those out there who will EXPECT someone else to do what they are NOT willing to do...who live by the premise of "do as I say, not as I do," and will lay the responsibility of the way THEY are perceived by others UPON others? Again, the biggest hole in this picture is PERSONAL responsibility and those who shrug theirs are probably most often the culprits of trying to tear down someone else's VERY BEST efforts because deep down inside (no matter the "surface purpose"), they realize that this person out-performs them, out-thinks them, and gathers the recognition for this THEMSELVES because, really...they OWN it. Enter jealousy, envy, and low self-esteem....yes...these "guests" often come uninvited don't they...they are psyche-crashers and the result of viewing life from an OUTSIDE IN perspective and because they begin to tear at someone's very IMAGE, they need a route of escape...and more often than not, they will be directed to the person (or people) they are most envious of. It is a really touchy dynamic really...and if you read deeply into what I have just written...it is a NO-WIN situation. Now, you are in a position where you are damned if you do and damned of you don't. This is WHY fully realizing YOUR potential, YOUR limitations, and YOURself as a whole is so important in keeping yourself emotionally and mentally healthy and productive. This is the only thing that keeps those feelings of inadequacy given to you BY others a "temporary status" in your psyche and actually FUELS within you the need to continue to build within you an unwavering foundation upon which to stand in the face of adversity.
OHHHHH...you all don't have TIME to eat all of this up in one setting!! I am going to split this message up into parts for ya so you can have time to digest... I believe this is a VERY important topic and one I have much experience in. Stay tuned my faithful "We are ONE first" readers...I promise there will be dessert offered at the end of THIS meal!! And after you get done reading this...go back to my "Music and Art" post, and listen to some REO and gather up some eye-candy with the great art in the video and let it all steep...for some reason, that song and the artwork displayed as a backdrop is reverberating in my mind as I write!!
"Self-realization is much like a telescopic view of a star...seeing and recognizing the intricacies that often go unnoticed by the naked eye due to the immense distance between."~Rainamay.
Have a GREAT weekend everyone...much love and encouragement from your friend...always..
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Living LARGE...whether standing at the top or making my way there.
Sitting here this morning doing my usual morning ritual of scrolling my FB page, sippin my hot coffee, and THINKING. It is SO quiet here first thing in the morning when my internal clock wakes me. I relish my "morning time," as it has become MY time to sort things out, pay bills, or to just BE. I sit here and think this morning how crazy it is how the worries of today leave once today becomes yesterday. I even laugh to myself as my "first impression" of something may change the minute I revisit it, and how my sense of humor about things is increasing, while my worry decreases. I find myself saying "ya know, it isn't really as bad as I first thought it was" and I try to figure out a diplomatic way of reckoning it within myself and approaching others (if that is the case). There are also the things of yesterday, I have learned that are best kept there, as they have not really proven to be of any benefit to my growth in moving forward. So with these thoughts in mind, I would like to thank a "higher power" or the "powers that be" for TODAY and hope I will be blessed enough to prosper through it and greet tomorrow. Though yesterday is filled with a wisdom of its very own, yesterday is a place we visit to bring balance to the challenges that today will inevitably bring to spring us into action for a better tomorrow. Laughter IS the best medicine, smiling is contagious, and "LOVE covers a multitude of sin."
With that being said, I will point out that there is a duality to worry. Unhealthy worry begins to take the place of action...it is a deterrent, a catalyst for backpedaling, excuse-making, and fault-finding. On the other side of the spectrum is healthy worry, but this type of worry seems to lead us to a question we pose to ourselves which sounds a bit like this "what can I do to change this situation that is causing such worry?" Healthy worry lends to us the understanding that this is NOT someone else's problem, it is not our neighbor's worry, our spouse's worry, your children's worry...it is OURS..and what we DO with it TODAY will dictate whether or not it becomes a point of reference toward growth or RULES our life and forces us into a "percieved safety" and seclusion....tomorrow. Dig it?? We NEED to start owning our own lives, our own action, our own MINDS.
No one will ever see us the way we see ourselves and our circumstance will NEVER change by merely "wanting" it to or permitting it OWN us. If we EARN admiration and respect from others, that is just a benefit that comes with being true to ourselves and our purpose...we don't CAUSE that admiration/respect to flow from another...it is ultimately THEIR decision whether or not to lend it to us, only AFTER we know we have earned it. It is not a cause-and-effect scenario...yet, this is what we get stuck on. "If I do this, then this person will react in this way." We lean too much to others to "solidify" and "accept" for all the wrong reasons. We tend to make a decision based upon what will shed the brightest light upon us through the eyes of another JUST for that purpose, because it makes US feel good, instead of "I will do this because THIS is what is IN ME to do after I have considered ALL things." There is a very CLEAR line between "building" a persona and just being who we are. The biggest difference in the two is one is temporary and always NEEDING and the other is lasting and whole within itself. We cannot expect something or someone outside of ourselves to make us into something or "fix" our circumstance. Think about this for a moment, really think about it.
The quote "I would rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not" comes to mind. THIS is the difference. When you are true to yourself and purpose and you consider ALL things before pressing forward with a decision, you will be LOVED for all the right reasons, and this is irreplaceable, irrevocable, and genuine. If you are NOT loved, then you have no choice but to say "that is their decision" and really, it doesn't bother you at all because you do NOT control the thoughts, opinions, nor actions of another. But if the very thing you CLING to in this life is the acceptance and praise from another, then your life is based upon tactic and agenda and is meant to build your self-esteem through the eyes of others...do we forget the word SELF in this? This type of mind-set lends itself to destroying "self" and becomes a chaotic pattern of self-sabotage because in essence, you are turning control over your life and your happiness to another...but hey, NOW you have an object of blame. It can't be YOUR fault. After all, you made SURE you were EVERYTHING you THOUGHT that person wanted and needed, right? And so the pattern repeats itself with each new esteem-building target.
Today's message I guess would be to OWN yourself, your life, your decisions, your LOVE. Do what is within your OWN power to change worry into opportunity, a stressful circumstance into a winning one, and do NOT hang who you are upon the esteem of another. Laugh often, love much, give freely, and don't EXPECT anything in return.
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
Albert Einstein.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston Churchill
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Dr. Seuss
“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen.”
Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby
Love ya'll BIG BUNCHES!! Have a prosperous day!
Signed,
Living WHOLE.
With that being said, I will point out that there is a duality to worry. Unhealthy worry begins to take the place of action...it is a deterrent, a catalyst for backpedaling, excuse-making, and fault-finding. On the other side of the spectrum is healthy worry, but this type of worry seems to lead us to a question we pose to ourselves which sounds a bit like this "what can I do to change this situation that is causing such worry?" Healthy worry lends to us the understanding that this is NOT someone else's problem, it is not our neighbor's worry, our spouse's worry, your children's worry...it is OURS..and what we DO with it TODAY will dictate whether or not it becomes a point of reference toward growth or RULES our life and forces us into a "percieved safety" and seclusion....tomorrow. Dig it?? We NEED to start owning our own lives, our own action, our own MINDS.
No one will ever see us the way we see ourselves and our circumstance will NEVER change by merely "wanting" it to or permitting it OWN us. If we EARN admiration and respect from others, that is just a benefit that comes with being true to ourselves and our purpose...we don't CAUSE that admiration/respect to flow from another...it is ultimately THEIR decision whether or not to lend it to us, only AFTER we know we have earned it. It is not a cause-and-effect scenario...yet, this is what we get stuck on. "If I do this, then this person will react in this way." We lean too much to others to "solidify" and "accept" for all the wrong reasons. We tend to make a decision based upon what will shed the brightest light upon us through the eyes of another JUST for that purpose, because it makes US feel good, instead of "I will do this because THIS is what is IN ME to do after I have considered ALL things." There is a very CLEAR line between "building" a persona and just being who we are. The biggest difference in the two is one is temporary and always NEEDING and the other is lasting and whole within itself. We cannot expect something or someone outside of ourselves to make us into something or "fix" our circumstance. Think about this for a moment, really think about it.
The quote "I would rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not" comes to mind. THIS is the difference. When you are true to yourself and purpose and you consider ALL things before pressing forward with a decision, you will be LOVED for all the right reasons, and this is irreplaceable, irrevocable, and genuine. If you are NOT loved, then you have no choice but to say "that is their decision" and really, it doesn't bother you at all because you do NOT control the thoughts, opinions, nor actions of another. But if the very thing you CLING to in this life is the acceptance and praise from another, then your life is based upon tactic and agenda and is meant to build your self-esteem through the eyes of others...do we forget the word SELF in this? This type of mind-set lends itself to destroying "self" and becomes a chaotic pattern of self-sabotage because in essence, you are turning control over your life and your happiness to another...but hey, NOW you have an object of blame. It can't be YOUR fault. After all, you made SURE you were EVERYTHING you THOUGHT that person wanted and needed, right? And so the pattern repeats itself with each new esteem-building target.
Today's message I guess would be to OWN yourself, your life, your decisions, your LOVE. Do what is within your OWN power to change worry into opportunity, a stressful circumstance into a winning one, and do NOT hang who you are upon the esteem of another. Laugh often, love much, give freely, and don't EXPECT anything in return.
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
Albert Einstein.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston Churchill
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Dr. Seuss
“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen.”
Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby
Love ya'll BIG BUNCHES!! Have a prosperous day!
Signed,
Living WHOLE.
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