As I delve deeply into what I believe will be one of the greatest things I have ever done for myself, I see some little "side benefits" that lay hidden in the planning process, but have become very apparent while putting the plan into action. I have begun the very rough draft of the transcript for my book that I have been urged by many to write and that I have always known was in me to write...BUT during my time of preparation, I had a very hard time figuring out a particular classification, or manner (fiction/nonfiction)of laying it all out. I have decided that though I have a very active imagination, I would not delve into fiction (at least for right now) as I find the time that it would take to place what I know into a character context with a plot would be immense, not to mention, somewhat limiting to the purpose of it as a whole. So I have weighed the pros and cons..should I limit what I know to a story line with a final outcome..showcasing my imagination for the purpose of entertainment, or should I just BE it? The first thing every author must possess and convey to his/her readers is credibility. If I AM what I write, then I suppose that question is answered before it is posed. I am credible. I have often heard..."do what you know" or in the context of writing "write what you know." This is the genesis of my largest creation (besides that of my children). Funny I mention that, as I am finding that this process is much the same as becoming pregnant and giving birth. My pregnancy has lasted a LOOOONNNNGGG time...and I have nurtured the child inside to its maximum benefit, and now am ready to give this baby LIFE outside.
I spoke early on of the side benefits of this, and they are: Therapy. It is amazing the emotion you stir up when you are reliving old lessons, and equally amazing and maybe even more-so is how much you haven't learned hiding under those stones you had unwittingly left unturned. Every SPECK of your life contains within it a vantage point and every vantage point leads to a single focus, and that focus is where you find yourself right now. I cannot help but hurt for those who cannot and/or do not see it this way. This would mean that their entire existence here in their denial, blindness, or refusal to see and experience is utterly and unequivocally without meaning. It is going from one "pleasure" to the next because let's face it, pleasure is EASY to attain isn't it? It is EVERYWHERE..it is basically disposable and biodegradable. It is used to its capacity, thrown away, and absorbed into the thin air. WOW! JOY; however, is a different creature altogether. When truly experienced, joy multiplies and populates. It is foundational and lasting. This is what permeates me as I walk in all that I was meant to be.
I am told very often that the expanse of my mind borders on the uninterpretable & I laugh to myself because it is the only way I know how to be, not because I have conditioned myself to BE this way, but more because I have finally accepted that my innate infrastructure is one of RESISTING condition. I believe this is why my vantage point is so hard to understand by others and why it is so hard for me to convey the things I have come to understand from my perspective. I have to KNOW everything...NOT for the purpose of being a know-it-all, but more because I know that there is always SO MUCH MORE to everything than what appears on the surface and I have an endless need to learn and grow. I am seeing this force unfold exponentially now as I set in motion this call...and observe very keenly, my focus. There are things I had "missed" in the intial experience that I have found years later in my revisit. Some of these things have brought laughter, some tears, some anxiety, some peace...but most of all, more wisdom, more knowledge, more strength, and more tenacity and a knowing that what I set my mind, my heart, and my hand to do right now in this rough draft of "what I know" is the center-most point of its culmination.
INTENT is the MOTHER OF RISK....
The human race is constructed within and around a vast network of relationships. When others are involved in our "securities," our very life is centered around a series of risks we take. The only risk we will not EVER take is falling in line with what IS and clothing your actions in the right reasons. If I write this book with the intent of securing my financial future, I leave my destiny to RISK. If I write this book to gain notoriety, I reduce my experience to RISK. If the gain I reach for in writing this book is one of pleasure, my blood, sweat, and tears (literally) are given away to that temporary feeling. If I enter in with no preconceived notion, but do it because I AM it...I speak outside of EGO. I speak in my true voice. The thing I do is write..it is a gift given to me to allow my spirit to speak...it isn't the definition nor my label. Check your intent.
I do this because: It is in me to do and for NO other reason. I am not focused on any outcome...I am focused on the journey, the purpose, and unbeknownst to me at onset, the therapy.
What is it that calls to you and what gift do you possess to realize this calling? Everyone has one...everyone. And more importantly, what kind of service to others could you indeed be if you were to utilize it--OR--if you are utilizing it now, what reasons are you assigning to it? Are you reducing it to personal gain or are you spreading it and encouraging it to populate. Observe where your mind takes you in the silence.
Your TRUE heart lies where your mind frequently travels. If you feel lost and cannot find it, examine your intent, purify and refine it..."For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
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