I've been a little disheartened the past couple of days and part of me was "prepared" for it...that part of me is ALWAYS prepared for it. Doesn't make it bother me any less...but I always know it's coming...or hoping it doesn't....and it is always attached to someone/something outside of myself...in the control of others...and I find AGAIN..that I just have to let it go, because that which is not in my control cannot occupy precious space among those things I can---one apple spoils the bunch!!
I am finding that a lot of this "letting go" is actually taking parts of me with it...but I am thinking that maybe these are parts that need recasting, strengthening, or are of just no good use to me anymore in whatever the universe has in store for me. It seems I am again wondering where I belong in all of this. I spend quite a bit of time in reflection (as if I had to tell you that!!), and I am tired of looking back, being hard on myself all the time, being my own worst critic, and trying to constantly LEARN and GROW and be the best me I can be...when there are PLENTY of people out there who are all but willing to do that FOR YOU.
I am in a "why bother" stage right now...and I hope it is only a short visit...I don't like it here..the company sucks, the food is rotten, and peace eludes me once again. But you may as well make the most of the visit, right...if you gotta be there!
This leap I have just mustered up the courage to take is more than a mere decision...it is a speaking out against a spirit of insufficiency, darkness, and outside CONTROL. I am sending out the war cry, believing it will be heard.
"Because with lies ye have made the heart of the righteous sad, whom I have not made sad; and strengthened the hands of the wicked, that he should not return from his wicked way, by promising him life"~Ezekiel 13:22.
Signed...
Following the light...always.
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