Years add wisdom, difficulties build strength, love moves mountains, tears nourish growth, dreams reveal purpose, character buries superficiality...Truth IS.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Unmasking the true nature of trial and challenge

Good morning everyone!

Well, I've just been through a "cosmic storm" of sorts...or maybe it could even be termed a "test" on what I have learned as of late.  I find it almost intriguing how there is always a test after you learn something about yourself and put into practice a new attitude for a while.  When everything is going along swimmingly,  it is quite easy to keep this new-found attitude of positivity and appreciation of what you have.  However, throw a monkey-wrench into the workings; and where then does our attitude go?  Does it revert back to what we once thought was normal for so long....or do we keep that same new attitude?  The difference between these two options is very telling of whether we truly learned and changed or if it was just "easy" to change while the circumstances were going our way.

I am happy to say...I've kept the new me intact!!  I mean sure...while we are going through rough patches, it is normal to be confused, frustrated, and even feel a bit sorry for ourselves...we ARE human.  However, do these rough patches turn into a valid reason to complain, be pissed at the world, and sit around thinking that someone or something out there has it in for us?  The old me would have said..."why yes...it does",,,BUT instead, I took them in one at a time (and there were quite a few within a 2-day period)...and instead of thinking or asking "why me"...I thought "why not me..."  I am not immune to circumstantial fallout. From there, I accepted the challenge.  I took each problem and figured out a feasible solution.  Each of these solutions took a bit of ingenuity and a commitment to a little more work on my part...or even a little help from others, but on the third day of this, there is really nothing lost I'm very proud to say, I kept myself very neutral.  There was no overconfidence and no under-confidence.  There was a willingness to accept what it was and allowing it to be...no attachment to cause or effect, but just a solution that fit within the realm of what I could actually DO about it--then, a letting go.

So I wanted to share this with everyone because when you extract a lesson from pain, frustration, and/or just poor decisions and you add to your wisdom...there will ALWAYS be a test of what you ACTUALLY learned.  But I think the universe gives us enough time to actually put into practice those things we have learned to become one with them before it drops the "pop-quiz."  It may be a little scary and we may even be compelled to go back to that "normal comfort zone" (& I've done this MANY times in the past...painful, negative, and confusing as it was) just because we are discomforted, but I am here to tell ya...I am more proud of myself for practicing this new attitude despite the discomfort and I even learned MORE valuable lessons in so doing.  I've had to hold fast to priority and let a little luxury go even if it takes more effort on my part.  I've also learned that having a specific need met may not always come in the "package" we would prefer..but if we are in a position to prioritize need OVER preference, it works...and that is the important thing.  These occurances were there to try to reconfigure my priorities FOR me...they were meant to make me panic and turn me from "knowing in my gut" what I had to do and doing what I would feel circumstance forced me to do. I found a happy medium in remaining neutral and not balling all of these little matters into the bigger picture...They each had their own solution that didn't TOUCH the main copacetic goal.  All it asks is "how much harder are you willing to work to bring it to pass"...my answer...as hard as I have to.  Problem solved and life back to normal...in a VERY short time.

So, with all of that being said...I wish for all a very wonderful day, an appreciation of what you have and what you, yourself are capable of doing to "fill-in" during those times when you feel you've lost something that made it a lot easier for you.  Accept the challenges that life offers you and test yourself, your integrity, and your boundaries. It is a very healthy exercise from time to time to know where YOU stand with YOU.  Any and all trials are there for that very purpose.  They are not automatically meant to defeat you...they are meant to engage you.  Listen to your gut, know your priorities and be willing to bend when the benefits definitely outweigh the detriment.  Don't waste your energy finding cause...because it really doesn't matter.  Coping with what is will offer you more options for solutions.  Equally, wasting your focus on specific outcome keeps opportunity for solution more limited.  Solve one problem at a time and you need not worry about how it came to be or where it will reappear in the bigger picture...if it is solved...it is SOLVED--forget about it and let it go and keep on keepin' on!!

"Don't waste your time trying to control the uncontrollable or trying to solve the unsolvable, or think about what could have been.  Instead, think about what you can control, the problem you can solve with the wisdom you have gained from both your victories and defeats in the past."~David Mahoney.

"Every problem contains within itself the seeds of its own solution."~Stanley Arnold.

"Problems are to the mind as exercise is to the muscles--they toughen and make strong."Norman Vincent Peale.

"The majority see the obstacles--the few see the objectives.  History records the successes of the latter, while oblivion is the reward of the former."~Alfred Armand Montapert.

xoxoxoxoxoxo



  

Saturday, September 15, 2012

After the rain

Hi everyone!  Thought I'd jump on here and launch some thoughts.

I have gone through quite a bit of growth over the last year...so much so, it surprises me.  Funny, how we think we know until we actually do know and then we think "wow, I really knew next to nothing."  I used to be such a situational control freak.  I mean, I am not bashing preparation at all...just the attachment to outcome.  However, in the last week or so, I've seen how easy it is to "click" back into that habit.  All's it takes is someone you dearly love in a situation that is similar to a situation you've worked through, realizing the  mistakes you made, and the changes you, yourself have made in moving forward.  Your mind can trick you into believing that you are reliving it all over again, and it becomes hard to watch someone you love struggle in it the same way you did--along with making the same mistakes and prolonging the inevitable--which (you now realize) only makes it THAT much harder to endure when the inevitable eventually happens.  Pretty soon, you find yourself chiming in with your opinion, advice, and wisdom--with that same feeling of helplessness that is all-too familiar--only this time, KNOWING better.  The dearly loved one, now finding him/herself in a similar position that you were once in begins to reflect and makes comments and inquiries in a compassionate and empathetic manner because they know now how you felt then.  This is NOT an invitation to start preaching.

During this momentary lapse of reason...as I switched back to my old "situational control" mechanism, I could palpably FEEL the disharmony inside.  I felt anxious, tense, and flighty.  Though it is SO close to home....it is no longer my lesson to learn, but another's.  It is apparent that this person sees the similarity between what I was up against and what she now has to reconcile within herself.  It is equally apparent that she has seen how I have used my time in the healing process and how I have come out of it a stronger, more tolerant, less agitated and more importantly...peaceful and whole person.  Words have no more power to drive a lesson home than an example does...even if they jibe...it is the "experience" that teaches, not what one can say about it---because there are things in this life that you really cannot describe with words, no matter how hard you try...they just remain either neutral or totally indescribable.  They just ARE.

I guess the point I am trying to make here is I am totally aware now of what inside of ME throws me off balance.  It isn't outside circumstance, it isn't even those unplanned, unaccounted for or unforeseen situations, or the drama that someone else brings with them. It is how we internalize and externalize them.  It is whether or not we allow these things to get to us or whether we are strong enough to just let them come and let them pass.  I've learned that we don't have to GRAB onto everything and make it our problem, even if it feels assigned to us.  We can be supportive without being invasive.  We can be an example of maturity and grace without having to prove it.  Which brings me to another point....and one that I couldn't wrap my mind around, though it seemed to make a lot of sense...but I had to allow myself to experience.  This is a concept that you cannot rationalize or make sense of.  It is only something that can be felt.  "what you project onto others, reflects back onto you from others."  When I try to control a situation...I feel controlled BY it.  When I invade, I feel invaded.  This is the disharmony and unbalance I spoke of earlier.  When you truly experience inner peace, you naturally begin to adapt thoughts, behaviors, and actions that are in line with that peace.  When change comes and you feel a "threat" to that peace in the air or in a set of circumstances, the instinctive "fight or flight" mechanism kicks into action..and now what you perceive to be a threat actually becomes one by your own doing...because old habits die HARD.  I am; however, grateful that I know the difference now and I can feel this discomfort when I act in a manner that is not cohesive to the peace I've attained.  It's crazy, but I used to call this discomfort "normal" and used to relate the concept of peace to that of boredom.  It's amazing how clean and fresh everything is after the rain (when we take time to notice).

I won't ever be perfect and I will continue to slip up every now and again...but I'm glad to know that recovery comes in a more timely manner and that it is more swift and less arduous a task.  I cannot worry myself over another's path in life..no matter how much I love, care for, and about this person...no matter if I've been through it and transcended it...it is theirs for them to travel.  Peace cannot be given...it has to be found and willingly moved into by the pursuant.

I wish to be nothing more than a quiet example.  I have nothing to prove that isn't already proven.

I can love without words.  I can motivate without instruction.  I can demonstrate without activity.  I can be and let be.  If I have compassion and empathy...I have everything.

Good day to all!
xoxoxoxoxo



Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The Meaning In This Moment




Good morning one and all!!

Well, I am amazed at the number of hits I've gotten on my "water to wine" post...it could possibly be because of the image that I used with the faucet...but hey...whatever gets ya here!!  lol :)

I've been talking lately a lot about the power of "positive thinking" or just being grateful and appreciative and living in the moment and how the universe seems to walk hand-in-hand with you as you do.  Actually, it will even appear to walk ahead of you--paving the way, and really, I think the latter example is more true.  What I think actually happens is a series of natural events, unencumbered by our selfish resistance.  One thing that I do know for sure is that our minds and our feelings have the power to change our reality.  I've tested this theory over and over and it has paid off immensely.  It has even gotten to the point where I feel a dramatic shift in how I react and respond to situations, circumstances, and other people.  The inner peace this shift has brought to my life is immeasurable and has never been experienced before to this level.



There is no more boredom, no more dissatisfaction, no more "wishing".  Oh, there are goals, there are aspirations, and there is imagination and my ever-present curious nature, but my FOCUS is on where within that bigger picture I am all of the time...and this is NOW.  When you do this...when you are FULLY present in THIS moment...there are so many things that you realize you have missed by all of the distraction of the past and future .  The ONLY reality is NOW.  The past and the future are nothing but mind-candy---a thought...that's it--and thoughts bring in tow with them...emotional responses (both are of pure energy)...when we dwell on either, it is wasted energy.  How is it serving us today?  If we were to look deeply enough at it, we would probably say--it's giving us hope or it is stealing our hope away.  Something that does not exist anymore or something that doesn't exist YET cannot give or take away ANYTHING.  It isn't HERE.  Hope IS.  It is not given or taken away by time.  We all live NOW.  We all experience NOW.  How do we FEEL now.  What is around you NOW and where are YOU in the midst of it?  Thinking of a past experience or a future endeavor?

As I began my "test" (so to speak) of this revelation, I would think---"wow, this is not as easy as it would seem" because my mind was so wild--and this is something that we just don't notice until we make it a point to.  It was all over the damn place.  When you really put your attention to all of the chatter that goes on, you almost wonder how at the end of the day (and shit even the end of the morning)...you're not completely exhausted with all of those thoughts and emotional responses that accompany them ALL OF THE TIME.  And truth be told...it DOES sap a LOT of energy.  When you begin this process, you find that it is almost a third-person proposition--as if you are observing yourself from outside of yourself.  There is a part of you that has the ability to do this.  This is the eternal part of you...the part of you that never changes..and that has the very same composition of EVERYTHING.   You can literally "step back" and watch the pattern of your thoughts...and how many times they are everywhere but where they really need to be.  The distraction factor is relentlessly high.  However, what I have found the entire problem to be is FIXATION--which can be whittled away at by redirection little by little.  It is the natural state of the mind to be BUSY all of the time and it wants to take you with it on it's merry-go-round nature of replay...and funny...WE GO, over and over again--and most times, the fixation of the mind immediately defaults to "negative."  Example:  Someone brings you a mixed bouquet of beautiful flowers, different colors, different species...what do we think?  We immediately go to gratitude to the giver of the gift..."awe, thank you...and you begin to think...this person is so thoughtful"  and there is nothing wrong with that.  But now many times do we really (in that moment) look at the gift we have been given.  How many times do we look at each of these flowers to appreciate THEIR beauty?  Pretty much, we give all of the credit to the giver, throw them into a vase and that moment is ever remembered as "a time when so and so brought me flowers"  because we concern ourselves with things that make us feel good, feel bad, feel whatever.  If we were to actually appreciate the beauty of the gift itself and really SEE them, maybe we could feel integrated and whole.  Maybe we could see ourselves as these flowers.  Maybe we could get a lot more from the experience than our MINDS allow us to.  Now, in keeping with this thought...(and this is a paraphrase of an example used by Eckhart Tolle).  How long do we fixate upon the beauty of something compared to how long we fixate upon the past, the future, or something someone did TO us?  We could revisit that same experience (literally) millions  of times over the years, but how soon is the experienced beauty of something forgotten?  You see, the mind is set on negative by default.  Even if we BEGIN to revisit a beautiful past event, the avenger soon comes to take it over.



I dare you all to test this.  This is what I've found:   The more peace I have, the more I am given.  The more patience I have, the less I have to wait.  The less energy I spend wanting, the more things are given.  The less drama I involve myself with, the less it appears in my life.  The less I worry, the less I have to worry about.  The more present I am, the more present God (or whatever you choose to call the ultimate power) is present with and inside of me.  The more confident I am, the less mistakes I make.  The more in tune I am with now, the less concerned I am with "then."

I'm not gonna lie, at first, it felt almost impossible to beat my mind into submission, but I also found that was the wrong attitude to have.  Just being HERE NOW makes your mind WANT to work with you.  I have found times where a straying thought enters in...and immediately my mind (believe THAT or not) says "redirect"...and I focus on the sunshine, the birds singing, and I validate that I am ALIVE by fixating upon my breath and immediately, that thought is gone and is replaced with now...and a smile just naturally comes to my face.  It is amazing!!  You don't have to DO anything...just BE here now---and the transformation just naturally takes place internally first...then externally.

I've had things that I probably could not have ever pre-conceived happen in my life--surprises that I could not wrap my mind around, even if I were to try (so I just don't--I just appreciate).  Anything I could perceive as a potential problem or anything I could choose to fixate upon are just naturally nonexistent.  They become fixed before they become broken.  It is as if the universe removes anything to worry about before it becomes a worry in the first place.  Now THIS is some pretty stellar stuff right here!!  Our fixations are just the (very generic) and wanna-be form of what comes naturally.  They want to CREATE your life..however, your life already IS.  Our past experiences are of use, if they are used to their fullest benefit ONLY...which is through ACTION now.  It is not about mulling it over and over in your mind to your own self-defeat.  It is about empowering you to be the best you that you can be NOW.  We make the mistake of wanting to "redo" this and that..."maybe if I did it this way instead"...and what that really does is create our today with little patches of a mindfully-tweaked yesterday hoping your future will be a better tomorrow.  What a WASTE!!  Do you agree?



Bottom line here is choice, redirection, transformation, and purpose---all of which the mind alone is too small to even fathom.  Master the mind...and the purpose of your life will unfold naturally.  Allow the mind to master you...and you die never knowing why you ever existed in the first place--and as in life, the past will haunt you and your last breath will come upon you in fear and without notice...just as all of the ones you were blessed with your entire life did.

Namaste
RainaMay.