WOW folks...how long has it been??? I must say, I am somewhat, if not completely amazed that ya'll continue to drop by to read all of my old ramblings! Thank you. Knowing that you all drop by injects a sense of value into my spirit...and I so appreciate it.
I've taken this long hiatus from writing partly due to a lack of inspiration and partly due to having to actually LIVE and experience life. Last winter in all of its unwelcome and completely destructive surprises dampened my spirit quite a bit. I was forced to again seek out what I was made of and make that lemonade!!! It has taken me quite a bit of time to pull it all back together and forge on.
I've sort of become rather accustomed to waiting for that other shoe to drop and I've learned to not get too carried away with all of the temporary glitz of life "going as planned or expected." If there is one thing that life will teach you (if you pay attention)...it is that resilience, resourcefulness, and flexibility are major players in one's attitude and outlook in its regard. At the same time; however, there is a certain component of resisting "status quo" and refusing to accept less than you deserve. Life has built into it an intricate balance that is only achieved through one's instinctive sensitivities and a hard-won trust with them. I remember as a teen and young adult my parents saying "you think you KNOW everything." Looking back, I realize I knew nothing of life but how to dream BUT I also realize that I possessed something my parents lacked----the courage to chase those dreams with reckless abandon and (somewhat misguided) sense of invincibility.
True adulthood brings with it some pretty poignant perspective-shattering realities and begins early-on to teach us the evils of projected expectations. It takes some of us longer to learn....but I've found the hard way to be the most reliable in sticking!! There is no shelter for a true adult to seek within the consequence of their choices and actions (or lack thereof)--there is no pinch-hitter, no stand-in, no double. It is just YOU and what you've created. Until you begin to really understand and respect this little twist of life, you will ever be a dependent child who relies upon rescue and dependence builds a dam to personal growth and strength. It is the opposite of LIFE--and life is a series of lessons to the ends of integrity, trust, and truth. In a book I am now reading, Instinct by T.D. Jakes, one particular statement reached right out and grabbed me...and it is "you can't take everyone with you just because they were with you where you were before." And this is a nice, tidy end to this paragraph.
Through all of life's ups and downs, there is always an inspirational element that lies somewhat out of reach during times of disappointment, heartbreak, and struggle. It is there nonetheless, and it sometimes takes a period of rest and reflection to grab on to it and see its contribution to your overall growth and wellbeing.
I am becoming more and more accustomed to living in the moment and becoming more keen in deciphering what works and what doesn't for me. I am pretty clear on what it is that I deserve and what I absolutely will not accept. My integrity has been tested to the nth-degree, and I've had to make some very difficult choices in keeping with its guidance...but I trust in it more than I trust in anything. I've learned that anything we choose to invest in....no matter how little or much...carries with it no guarantee for a return. However, the value is really not measured in what you receive back, but lies within the reasons why we made such an investment to begin with. It is the heart, the belief, the faith, and the sacrifice of one's own time, love, and consideration of that investment that become the foundation of who you are and give you some measure of your own character. That is what it is all about....knowing who you are, where you live, where you come from and where you wish to go. We have no control over fate...or the choices, views, or opinions of others nor can we base our own sense of value upon the response or reactions of them. Circumstance does not define you...where you stand in them and what you choose to do with them does. It is more about listening than talking...and it is about KNOWING more than trying to convince.
As far as life goes...I'm finding...it's all about the "I's" and "whys"....
Inspiration
Integrity
Insight
Intellect
Investment
What I give to others, I add to myself.
Much love to everyone!
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