What I am...

Good morning everyone...what a beautiful morning it is here!! Sunshine, warmer temps..the birds have started choosing their prospective summer homes and are joyously singing!! I have not been feeling "just right" for the past few days, and this morning, I have symptoms of an oncoming flu bug of some sort...yuck!! But I wanted to take some time to post, as I felt driven to do so.

As of late, I have stumbled across a fellow blogger's site. This gentleman is working on a novel and shares insight and knowledge of his travels through the writing process. He shares his ideas and advice on how to arrive at a polished finished product, and the conclusions he has drawn about writing in and of itself through trial, error, research, and epiphany. I find the subject matter of his blog entries of extreme interest to me, as it seems that the central points of his entries (though relating to becoming a successful author)are instructing me in a better understanding of myself as a human being and are almost prophetic and in a haunting way, answering questions for me, in sequence, that have eluded me for quite some time now.

I had just recently written an entry about the importance of consistency, but as I got further and further into it, I had noticed that consistency in and of itself, was such a difficult topic to really pin down--because at the very conceptual level of it, it can literally turn on itself and create such irony. It is interchangeable and fluctuant. I never posted that entry because I began to understand that it was but an avenue to a much bigger road, though I could not seem to nail down where this detour was leading, so I let it be, saved it into draft, and moved on.

It wasn't a couple of days later when I stumbled upon this man's outlet of creative and expansive abundance that he made that destination very clear to me. It was written in the context of consistency's unimportance in the repertoire of the author as the sole basis of success. As I read, what unfolded for me was my missing link, the merging from that avenue to my bigger road..the central idea of which consistency or the lack thereof lead...the real issue of reliability. It all began to make perfect sense. I remember thinking as I wrote on this topic how there is such a thing as being consistently inconsistent, and this is where I got lost on the point I was trying to make--and where irony flipped the script on me and landed me without a compass. "The end of something is always better than it's beginning." Consistency is really a moral predictor of reliability or unreliability--and it will always be the "outcome" or final result of such attributes which hold the key to the initial idea or intent. It is THIS issue of reliability that we each look for and relish, and it is consistency that leads us there. It is basically a catch-22 concept really--but more of a screening tool for bigger "character markers", and the nature of its fluidity is such that it always flows from idea to fruition. It is first looked to and then back at in order to formulate its reliability NOW. So thank you Ollin.

Now, I revisited his blog last night, and he addressed yet another missing link and gave clarity to something I have struggled to understand. The difference between style and substance. He outlined this dynamic within his critique of the movie Drive. He argued that although the movie was abundant in style, that it really lacked the substance to "glue" it all together...hmmm... He also stated that he believed style to be a sort-of "borrowed" asset from others to eventually lead you to the total embodiment of your own. In other words, the display of traits in others that mirror our own, that we may be looking for a way to outwardly display ourselves---so when we do find these traits displayed in a very attractive and reflective way of our own, we then adopt part of that style and integrate it into the other aspects to create our very own. Alone, it is more superficial and fluffy, but should compliment our substance in a way where it all comes together to represent a substantial ME. I've realized that in large part, that style may attract you...but substance grounds you and keeps you there. I've learned that there are some people with a whole lotta style...which continues to "attract," but you find yourself at a loss of getting that full, completely satisfied feeling...you are always looking for what is underneath it all...what is missing, the complete fulfillment of the attraction. Then there are those with a whole lotta substance, who come off rigid, closed-minded and completely immovable. The balancing act of these two is of utmost importance in how we relate to and enmesh with others. I believe; however, that substance is our very core essence and in order for that to be seen in a dynamic and interesting way, we accrue a certain body language, speaking style, sense of humor, ways of reasoning and expression meant to reflect who we are in a more universal way, rather than according to the company we are keeping at that precise moment. It is style that captures our attention and bids us to look further into what that "style" represents. Style is the shell, substance is what makes it work. Would you spend your last $30,000 on a vehicle that had no "working" parts just because the body and interior design was like no other? Probably not...I mean you could stare at it and admire it for days and probably find a huge spectrum of style design ideas that continue to impress you, but when you begin to run out of things to admire, it loses it's novelty, because after all, it has nothing else to offer you but that. It displays a vast amount of gadgetry, but they work nothing. They are unattached and basically stand alone. Soon, this design will be improved upon anyway and it's style will become archaic and uninteresting and you will move on to the next improved-upon-but-borrowed-from impression and/or representative of nothing.

We look for in others what we wish for others to see in us. If we are wanting others to admire our style, and envy our attributes, and find us exciting, we, in turn, are also looking for others to provide that to us. However, it would require us to constantly tweak our repertoire to include the most innovative ways to keep people's attention through style--OR--frequently change the scenery in order to keep the interest of "new" onlookers piqued. However, if we hold fast to our means of expression (style) as nothing more than an outward display of core substance, and if our buttons are indeed attached to something that WORKS, then you can bet that there is a healthy integration there. What I have learned is that people of real substance, after a while, become unimpressed with a constant barrage of style and attribute alone--even if it is constantly changing and improving...in fact, they begin to mistrust it, ignore it, and deplore it in favor finding the meaning it is supposed to be attached to. Where those attached to style alone become dependent upon those constantly trying to impress and attract them---they are disinterested in the working parts--because they are predictable and boring, they really don't change much, and are not easily changed by innovation. Different scenery, different story. Different circumstance, different viewpoint. (RE)invention...all the time...how exciting--but how utterly predictable, transparent, and empty...same concept, different means.

It amazes me the perspective one can find in the most unlikely places and how you seem to be led to it unwittingly at times when answers to questions elude you.

We are who we are...some by reason, some by chance, and others by destiny.

“Beyond the edge of the world there’s a space where emptiness and substance neatly overlap, where past and future form a continuous, endless loop. And, hovering about, there are signs no one has ever read, chords no one has ever heard.”~Haruki Murakami.

"The characteristics of the package determine the nature of the contents.~Haruki Murakami

“Everything here but the soul of man is a passing shadow. The only enduring substance is within. When shall we awake to the sublime greatness, the perils, the accountableness, and the glorious destinies of the immortal soul?”~ William Ellery Channing.

“Be not deceived with the first appearance of things, for show is not substance.”
English Proverb