Good New Year Morning to ALL!!
I awakened this morning to find...I was out of coffee...OH NO!! However, I looked at this as an opportunity to get in my car first this this morning, turn up the tunes, and cruise into town to get my favorite coffee ever...Tim Horton's!! Starting the new year off right here!
I had my radio dial set to one of my programmed stations and noticed a theme that tied each of the 3 songs that played on my venture together. It was LOVE. The first song was "Love Reign O'er Me" by the Who...and I am not really a big Who fan, but this song seemed to just wash over and through me this morning. The beginning...so EPIC...the crescendo of the symphony, the emotion in the lyrical delivery, and the urgency of the message...got to me, not gonna lie. Then "Hold the Line" by Toto played...the message there..."love isn't always on time" and then "Everyday" by Dave Matthews Band..."pick me up love." This radio frequency blended so well with my own vibe, I almost just wanted to keep driving to suck up some more of this positive energy---It was like a major recharge of energy...my 2012 batteries were depleted.
So...I had made up my mind yesterday morning that I was going to view the birth of this new year in a manner I've never really felt important before...I was going to celebrate it's arrival. For most of my life (except my teenage years, of course...where BREATHING was a cause to celebrate), I never really made it a point to make the ringing in of a new year much of a priority...it was just another day...ya know...#366. Adult convention...pfft...never realized how much it sucked and how life-draining and limiting it really was...until 2012...and if I were to be completely honest...2011 was the antagonist..and 2012 was just another baton-carrier in the relay of backwards negativity.
With all of that being said, the up side to 2012 was the long-jump victory into today...the first day of 2013!! 2012 was a year of mind-numbing training, a test of my mind and body strength, my resilience, my tenacity, my attitude, my will against adversity, my vision of success. Honest Injun...it was tough and there were times when I almost caved from the exhaustion, the pressure, and my trainer's unyielding PUSH beyond what I felt were my limits. I found myself pissed off at myself because my trainer was right. I was capable of much more, about 80% more (this number was graciously given to me by a dear friend when I stated that "I feel like I am using only about 5% of my total capability"...he assured me that it was more like 20%..lol...thanks Tom!!).
In any event, 2012 was a year of some very deep reflection...that of which I had never imagined nor recognized the need for. I saw a different picture of me. I saw a different picture of the people who had come in and left my life and I recognized a pattern. I made some very "story ending" decisions that year...drew some very wide lines to replace the thin ones that got crossed over too many times and I began to finally realize the winner in me...and the only line that matters..the FINISH line. It was uncomfortable stretching out those tensed-up under-worked muscles, reaching beyond my self-assigned limitations, and my trainer was really beginning to grind on my last nerve...however, I realized "it" believed in me...saw potential I didn't, was already at the finish line yelling, screaming, jumping up and down, encouraging me, prodding me, standing there at the ready to WELCOME me to victory. It stood at a line I was too far away to see to MARK it for me. It was my spirit...bigger than me...stronger than me...smarter than me....wiser than me...convicting me, making me angry at myself....TELLING me over and over and over again the same thing and in latter part of 2012...IT FINALLY stuck. There was a strong sense of finality to a lot of my experiences that year, a true END. No more back-and-forth between the heart and mind...they worked their way into becoming ONE throughout 2012...never again to be torn asunder.
I crossed that finish line today. All of the pain, all of the struggle, all of the indecisiveness, all of the hard work, preparation, training, mental anguish, emotional divide....behind me. I am finally fully united to all that I am and from here, the view ahead looks promising. I've achieved...and with me, I take the positives, the lessons learned, while laying the negatives to rest in 2012. R.I.P.
Look out "life Olympians"...there's a new champion in town. My sport is LOVE, my talent is balance, my goal is blue-ribbon/gold-medal baby!!
A HUGE thank-you to all who supported me, encouraged me, believed in me, and loved me---my true family & friends. You are irreplaceable and I look forward to the time (however much more we are blessed with) ahead. I love you all.
ONCE UPON A TIME........there was......
THE END.
Happy NEW Year!!
I awakened this morning to find...I was out of coffee...OH NO!! However, I looked at this as an opportunity to get in my car first this this morning, turn up the tunes, and cruise into town to get my favorite coffee ever...Tim Horton's!! Starting the new year off right here!
I had my radio dial set to one of my programmed stations and noticed a theme that tied each of the 3 songs that played on my venture together. It was LOVE. The first song was "Love Reign O'er Me" by the Who...and I am not really a big Who fan, but this song seemed to just wash over and through me this morning. The beginning...so EPIC...the crescendo of the symphony, the emotion in the lyrical delivery, and the urgency of the message...got to me, not gonna lie. Then "Hold the Line" by Toto played...the message there..."love isn't always on time" and then "Everyday" by Dave Matthews Band..."pick me up love." This radio frequency blended so well with my own vibe, I almost just wanted to keep driving to suck up some more of this positive energy---It was like a major recharge of energy...my 2012 batteries were depleted.
So...I had made up my mind yesterday morning that I was going to view the birth of this new year in a manner I've never really felt important before...I was going to celebrate it's arrival. For most of my life (except my teenage years, of course...where BREATHING was a cause to celebrate), I never really made it a point to make the ringing in of a new year much of a priority...it was just another day...ya know...#366. Adult convention...pfft...never realized how much it sucked and how life-draining and limiting it really was...until 2012...and if I were to be completely honest...2011 was the antagonist..and 2012 was just another baton-carrier in the relay of backwards negativity.
With all of that being said, the up side to 2012 was the long-jump victory into today...the first day of 2013!! 2012 was a year of mind-numbing training, a test of my mind and body strength, my resilience, my tenacity, my attitude, my will against adversity, my vision of success. Honest Injun...it was tough and there were times when I almost caved from the exhaustion, the pressure, and my trainer's unyielding PUSH beyond what I felt were my limits. I found myself pissed off at myself because my trainer was right. I was capable of much more, about 80% more (this number was graciously given to me by a dear friend when I stated that "I feel like I am using only about 5% of my total capability"...he assured me that it was more like 20%..lol...thanks Tom!!).
In any event, 2012 was a year of some very deep reflection...that of which I had never imagined nor recognized the need for. I saw a different picture of me. I saw a different picture of the people who had come in and left my life and I recognized a pattern. I made some very "story ending" decisions that year...drew some very wide lines to replace the thin ones that got crossed over too many times and I began to finally realize the winner in me...and the only line that matters..the FINISH line. It was uncomfortable stretching out those tensed-up under-worked muscles, reaching beyond my self-assigned limitations, and my trainer was really beginning to grind on my last nerve...however, I realized "it" believed in me...saw potential I didn't, was already at the finish line yelling, screaming, jumping up and down, encouraging me, prodding me, standing there at the ready to WELCOME me to victory. It stood at a line I was too far away to see to MARK it for me. It was my spirit...bigger than me...stronger than me...smarter than me....wiser than me...convicting me, making me angry at myself....TELLING me over and over and over again the same thing and in latter part of 2012...IT FINALLY stuck. There was a strong sense of finality to a lot of my experiences that year, a true END. No more back-and-forth between the heart and mind...they worked their way into becoming ONE throughout 2012...never again to be torn asunder.
I crossed that finish line today. All of the pain, all of the struggle, all of the indecisiveness, all of the hard work, preparation, training, mental anguish, emotional divide....behind me. I am finally fully united to all that I am and from here, the view ahead looks promising. I've achieved...and with me, I take the positives, the lessons learned, while laying the negatives to rest in 2012. R.I.P.
Look out "life Olympians"...there's a new champion in town. My sport is LOVE, my talent is balance, my goal is blue-ribbon/gold-medal baby!!
ONCE UPON A TIME........there was......
THE END.
Happy NEW Year!!
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