Hello Folks!!
Well, I really didn't have any preconceived subject matter to write about today...but I do have that inclination to write something...so I know there is something in there...let's see if we can coax it to come out as I type along...lol.
In keeping the idea of this blog...individuality, personal responsibility, and self-realization...I guess I can talk a little bit about how we get side-tracked once in a while by circumstance--because it is something I've been experiencing and I was really forced to sit back and mull over what the hell was going on with me in a certain area in my life--because it was NOT me and what I brought forth was not in keeping with me neither...and I just could not figure out WHY at one moment, I would smile and feel as if I was progressing...and the next, I would blow up and feel as if I was being pulled backwards and regressing. All of this in the same area of my life. Same scenario over and over...different results...so WHY? It didn't take me that long to figure out once I gave myself the time to really think and be honest with myself. The answer....I was allowing myself to succumb to peer pressure and people pleasing...instead of having faith in my KNOWN capabilities and drawing from that. I was allowing myself to be dictated to (though in my defense, I have immense respect for the people delivering the orders as their intent is indeed honorable)...BUT..it gets to a certain point where you begin to question your value and capabilities to form an original thought on your own behalf...almost as if you begin to believe yourself to be inadequate because you believe that is how others perceive you...so you just take orders and become a robot...but in-so-doing, the situation actually becomes WORSE and not better. Because you have respect for the people "assisting" you...because they make it all look so easy...and you eventually want to reach that plateau yourself, you begin to become "dependent" upon their input, want to emulate their process...but your performance tends to regress and look shoddy at best. Here is the thing I realized. I am ME. I am capable of an original thought and I have got to think things through on my own, reason them out on my own, and then bring about the action on my own. If I make mistakes...I learn...if I am constantly being sheltered from them, when I do make them, I have no idea how or why they were made. It is a catch-22 sometimes when we concentrate more on fulfilling expectations of others than our own expectations of ourselves. Speaking for myself, this is actually lowering myself to someone else's idea of what I am made of--instead of focusing on what I KNOW I am made of and fulfilling my expectations of myself and this in itself, creates great discomfort in me. I am your very typical Type A personality, so no one outside of ME could even begin to expect more of me than I do myself--and more importantly, no one outside of me has any idea of my propensities to take on that challenge when it presents itself...I am NOT a runner. Any time we place more value on what others think of us than what we indeed know of ourselves, we let EVERYONE down (ourselves included) in the long run.
There have been many instances in my life that I can reflect upon where those "times of progression" and times I feel the very best about my decisions and performance, etc were when I was LEFT ALONE to do it myself...utilizing my very own strategies. If I already have experience enough to fill a requirement...and I have become pretty familiar with the system in which I am to become a part...then the only real call to me is for ME to figure out MY place in it. It is redundant and useless to replace, change, or fix something that already works....though admittedly, some circumstances in life catch us off guard, introduce new pressures and may very well present themselves to be backwards from the way we've come to understand them and perform at our personal best in them. And during those times, when time is of the essence, and we are uncertain of our ability to adjust, and we are now called upon to prove ourselves, it is very easy to find reasons why we CAN'T--because the fear of the unknown and even worse...FAILURE... loom over us and defeat us before we even begin. Some give in to this...I, on the other hand...DON'T.
During these times, I use my hindsight a lot!! I go back through the different circumstances in my life that had left me feeling this same way...lost, unsure, insecure, uncomfortable, and fearing the worst...and then I think about where I found my place in it all and grounded myself. I also found how those circumstances ultimately ended up being "wins" for me...and it was just simply DRAWING from what I KNOW of myself and this strong inner drive to learn, understand, and rise to a personal challenge and expand upon all of them. It is this stronger voice inside that still argues back when the weaker voice says..."what are you thinking...you can't do that!" with "shiiit....I've already MASTERED challenges more expansive, more important, and more difficult than this." This voice PUSHES me beyond what I even think I am capable of doing myself and find myself at the same exact place I've been MANY, MANY times before in my lifetime...maybe a different area of it, a different circumstance, a different scenario...but my WILLPOWER, STRENGTH and my SWIM attitude when the alternative is to sink is really all I ever used to succeed in anything. Someone else is not going to tow the line FOR me, swim the channel FOR me, or provide me with the strength or the best way to go about achieving it. It all comes from within ME.
To lend my power to any unknowns, fears, or the opinions and/or advice of others concerning anything I set out to succeed in will result in major failure. The meaning of why I do what I do or how I do what I do is personal to me...and those reasons are where the value in anything in my life lies. So I MUST honor them with my very BEST foot forward. The opportunity is there, and I am not going to seize it for anyone else's reasons but my own. My will to rise above and succeed are stronger than the fear of defeat. This, however, is no guarantee that I will succeed...sometimes some things are just not meant to be and no matter how much they mean to me, how much effort I expend, or how much crap I take...defeat may just be inevitable, but this also, is part of the learning process. But fighting the good fight, giving it all you have, and always doing it with a positive attitude at least takes the edge off of the sting of it...because you know that you drew from everything you had and you couldn't really have done anything more or different to change the outcome. It is when you don't that you bury yourself in regret, and this to me, is way worse than failing at anything.
So either way...it is up to YOU...there are only two outcomes...you overcome your fears, put your best foot forward, and succeed or you overcome your fears, put your best foot forward and find that it just wasn't meant to be. Both very valuable learning experiences...and both open new doors to further opportunity--and in neither...is there any shame.
It is an absolutely beautiful day here...I greet it with an attitude of gratitude. Every morning I wake up to a new day, I feel blessed. What every day holds for me is an opportunity to place a stamp of value upon it and I use every ounce of energy I have to do just that--even if its just mowing the lawn, picking the dead growth off of my flowers, watering them...going to my job and offering a smile and some kind words to someone...it all has great meaning to me.
Wherever you go...go with all of your heart. Whatever you touch, leave behind the imprint of your soul. Whatever you wish, align it with your entire spirit. May God Bless you all and may each of your successes be credited to that "something bigger than you" inside. May you all make a difference and place your mark on the universe--from whatever creative force that flows from inside of you. We all have a job to do...and it is best achieved when we live life fearlessly.
"You are the only one on earth that can use your ability." ~Zig Zigler.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”~Theodore Roosevelt.
Much, much love and ((hugs))
Raina
Well, I really didn't have any preconceived subject matter to write about today...but I do have that inclination to write something...so I know there is something in there...let's see if we can coax it to come out as I type along...lol.
In keeping the idea of this blog...individuality, personal responsibility, and self-realization...I guess I can talk a little bit about how we get side-tracked once in a while by circumstance--because it is something I've been experiencing and I was really forced to sit back and mull over what the hell was going on with me in a certain area in my life--because it was NOT me and what I brought forth was not in keeping with me neither...and I just could not figure out WHY at one moment, I would smile and feel as if I was progressing...and the next, I would blow up and feel as if I was being pulled backwards and regressing. All of this in the same area of my life. Same scenario over and over...different results...so WHY? It didn't take me that long to figure out once I gave myself the time to really think and be honest with myself. The answer....I was allowing myself to succumb to peer pressure and people pleasing...instead of having faith in my KNOWN capabilities and drawing from that. I was allowing myself to be dictated to (though in my defense, I have immense respect for the people delivering the orders as their intent is indeed honorable)...BUT..it gets to a certain point where you begin to question your value and capabilities to form an original thought on your own behalf...almost as if you begin to believe yourself to be inadequate because you believe that is how others perceive you...so you just take orders and become a robot...but in-so-doing, the situation actually becomes WORSE and not better. Because you have respect for the people "assisting" you...because they make it all look so easy...and you eventually want to reach that plateau yourself, you begin to become "dependent" upon their input, want to emulate their process...but your performance tends to regress and look shoddy at best. Here is the thing I realized. I am ME. I am capable of an original thought and I have got to think things through on my own, reason them out on my own, and then bring about the action on my own. If I make mistakes...I learn...if I am constantly being sheltered from them, when I do make them, I have no idea how or why they were made. It is a catch-22 sometimes when we concentrate more on fulfilling expectations of others than our own expectations of ourselves. Speaking for myself, this is actually lowering myself to someone else's idea of what I am made of--instead of focusing on what I KNOW I am made of and fulfilling my expectations of myself and this in itself, creates great discomfort in me. I am your very typical Type A personality, so no one outside of ME could even begin to expect more of me than I do myself--and more importantly, no one outside of me has any idea of my propensities to take on that challenge when it presents itself...I am NOT a runner. Any time we place more value on what others think of us than what we indeed know of ourselves, we let EVERYONE down (ourselves included) in the long run.
There have been many instances in my life that I can reflect upon where those "times of progression" and times I feel the very best about my decisions and performance, etc were when I was LEFT ALONE to do it myself...utilizing my very own strategies. If I already have experience enough to fill a requirement...and I have become pretty familiar with the system in which I am to become a part...then the only real call to me is for ME to figure out MY place in it. It is redundant and useless to replace, change, or fix something that already works....though admittedly, some circumstances in life catch us off guard, introduce new pressures and may very well present themselves to be backwards from the way we've come to understand them and perform at our personal best in them. And during those times, when time is of the essence, and we are uncertain of our ability to adjust, and we are now called upon to prove ourselves, it is very easy to find reasons why we CAN'T--because the fear of the unknown and even worse...FAILURE... loom over us and defeat us before we even begin. Some give in to this...I, on the other hand...DON'T.
During these times, I use my hindsight a lot!! I go back through the different circumstances in my life that had left me feeling this same way...lost, unsure, insecure, uncomfortable, and fearing the worst...and then I think about where I found my place in it all and grounded myself. I also found how those circumstances ultimately ended up being "wins" for me...and it was just simply DRAWING from what I KNOW of myself and this strong inner drive to learn, understand, and rise to a personal challenge and expand upon all of them. It is this stronger voice inside that still argues back when the weaker voice says..."what are you thinking...you can't do that!" with "shiiit....I've already MASTERED challenges more expansive, more important, and more difficult than this." This voice PUSHES me beyond what I even think I am capable of doing myself and find myself at the same exact place I've been MANY, MANY times before in my lifetime...maybe a different area of it, a different circumstance, a different scenario...but my WILLPOWER, STRENGTH and my SWIM attitude when the alternative is to sink is really all I ever used to succeed in anything. Someone else is not going to tow the line FOR me, swim the channel FOR me, or provide me with the strength or the best way to go about achieving it. It all comes from within ME.
To lend my power to any unknowns, fears, or the opinions and/or advice of others concerning anything I set out to succeed in will result in major failure. The meaning of why I do what I do or how I do what I do is personal to me...and those reasons are where the value in anything in my life lies. So I MUST honor them with my very BEST foot forward. The opportunity is there, and I am not going to seize it for anyone else's reasons but my own. My will to rise above and succeed are stronger than the fear of defeat. This, however, is no guarantee that I will succeed...sometimes some things are just not meant to be and no matter how much they mean to me, how much effort I expend, or how much crap I take...defeat may just be inevitable, but this also, is part of the learning process. But fighting the good fight, giving it all you have, and always doing it with a positive attitude at least takes the edge off of the sting of it...because you know that you drew from everything you had and you couldn't really have done anything more or different to change the outcome. It is when you don't that you bury yourself in regret, and this to me, is way worse than failing at anything.
So either way...it is up to YOU...there are only two outcomes...you overcome your fears, put your best foot forward, and succeed or you overcome your fears, put your best foot forward and find that it just wasn't meant to be. Both very valuable learning experiences...and both open new doors to further opportunity--and in neither...is there any shame.
It is an absolutely beautiful day here...I greet it with an attitude of gratitude. Every morning I wake up to a new day, I feel blessed. What every day holds for me is an opportunity to place a stamp of value upon it and I use every ounce of energy I have to do just that--even if its just mowing the lawn, picking the dead growth off of my flowers, watering them...going to my job and offering a smile and some kind words to someone...it all has great meaning to me.
Wherever you go...go with all of your heart. Whatever you touch, leave behind the imprint of your soul. Whatever you wish, align it with your entire spirit. May God Bless you all and may each of your successes be credited to that "something bigger than you" inside. May you all make a difference and place your mark on the universe--from whatever creative force that flows from inside of you. We all have a job to do...and it is best achieved when we live life fearlessly.
"You are the only one on earth that can use your ability." ~Zig Zigler.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”~Theodore Roosevelt.
| “Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.”~Tom Krause. | |||||
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Much, much love and ((hugs))
Raina
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