Bullying

Good Morning!!




I've taken a short hiatus from my book & decided to post here a bit. It seems that there is a lot of "buzz" going on in the media and the "social media" about bullying in our area. I will not downplay any "terroristic" attitude or action...but really, bullying has been around as long as man! What makes this phenomenon so prevalent and of such concern in today's society? I believe there to be a host of catalysts...it is hard to just pin-point one central cause, and really, there is nothing that culminates to this level of concern without a few causes joining forces.





I remember being bullied as a child and adolescent...and I remember witnessing others being bullied. I actually was "bullied" by my parents...really. So this kind of "holier than thou" and "you are nothing" thing is nothing new to me. I was never really taught a whole lot of anything useful BY EXAMPLE that I didn't inherently KNOW was wrong. So I pretty much let my conscience, my feelings, and my power to reason guide me to be a conscionable human being. I knew it didn't FEEL right to be alienated, disrespected, and minimized by anyone...therefore, when I saw it being done to others...my heart would break and I NEVER participated in acts such as this toward another human being. When I would see it being done, I actually would internalize it AS IF it were being done to me. I felt the need to "step in" and diffuse all the time..which I did. As I got to be high-school aged; however, this bullying seemed to cease...and even though I was "accepted" by my peers, I was already past the point of SEEKING and/or NEEDING it from anyone--so it really didn't matter. I did not; however, condone this type of treatment of ANYONE in my presence and everyone pretty much KNEW this. As I was researching for my book, I came across a quote by Edmund Burke, who was an Irish author, philosopher, and political theorist in the late 1700s that reads: "All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing."

So, this could be one of the reasons that this type of maltreatment of our fellow man is on the increase. No one steps in and diffuses--CONSISTENTLY.

Another of the reasons comes from a quote of Albert Einstein who said: "Technological progress is like the axe in the hand of a pathological criminal." Hmmm...Iphone, Ipad, Ipod, social media, Xbox, Playstation, television, etc, etc, etc...we have children who are incessantly tuned into the "Worldwide Web" and the world of the VIRTUAL yet have next to nil social skills that would allow them to "FOR REAL" integrate into a classroom of 20. There doesn't seem to be much importance placed upon face-to-face social relationship anymore. Everyone is texting these days...where there are no social cues, no body language, no facial expression, no voice inflection....our means of social interaction has become so VIRTUAL...so plastic, so meaningless.

And finally, parenting. Is this creature on its way to extinction? I posted this on Facebook this morning as a response to the buzz about this problem of bullying:

Parenting: Having actual expectations of your child's behavior, actions, and performance, never asking your
child to do anything that you YOURSELF have not done a million times in FRONT OF THEM, nor anything that you WOULDN'T DO YOURSELF. Being a GENUINE human being before them and not just playing a role assigned to a title, showing consistent concern and support in the very important matter oftheir overall well-being, being completely honest at all times, and encouraging conversation--showing them that NO subject matter is off limits and that they will NOT be in any way judged when they share their feelings. Always allow their opinions to be heard and considered. Respect and trust are two-way streets...there is no entitlement based on age or wisdom--both are earned and both are LEARNED by example. Encourage creativity and mastery...discourage mediocrity...and BE the EMBODIMENT of all that you wish your children to learn. And finally, do not "shelter" your children from your weaknesses, your imperfection, or your indecisiveness...or else they will never see you as a human being that is just like them and they will never understand the MEANING of strength, perfection, and solid decision-making or where it comes from. Allow them to OBSERVE who you are, KNOW who you are, and UNDERSTAND WHY you are the way you are. Mohandas Gandhi~"BE the change you want to see in the world."

There are probably many other problems that I haven't addressed concerning this issue...but these three, I think...are the big ones. Everything your child will ever learn about respect, work-ethic, personal responsibility, and humanity START and are nurtured to maturity IN THE HOME. In my case, I didn't have the most stellar example of that...but I also DIDN'T have as many avenues of escape, distraction, and virtual reality (which is NOT reality at all) to keep me from figuring this out on my own. Something's got to give here and as long as everyone stands there pointing fingers at each other and thrusting the responsibility of "curing" the situation on the school system, the "other" parents, the "other" kids...and God knows what all...and refusing to see and own their responsibility in it...it will never end.

We are selling out to a society that seeks to subordinate, hold us back, make us lazy, take our money, replace our concern with "all manner of gadgetry." Why would we support such propaganda and garbage...these are our CHILDREN, our future leaders, our future parents, our FUTURE period!! They invade our homes through the media and artificial means, breeding carelessness, incompassion, and addictive/dependency of all they "offer" us...but look at the price we are really PAYING here. We have kids that want to destroy other kids and parents at each other's throats...it is a ploy to get us to destroy ourselves as they sit back and laugh at the power they have wielded over our minds, our homes, and our brothers and sisters.

THINK ABOUT THIS. This is not a small issue...it is disguised as a small issue---collectively, if left unchecked...it is volatile. There are kids who are KILLING THEMSELVES and EACH OTHER...you cannot be that blind...focus people!!

So, there you have it...my take on bullying.