Good morning everyone!
I've been focusing quite a bit lately on the enormous amount of choices we make in just one day, one minute, one hour. To be honest...that is what our entire life is spent doing. Then there is the incessant mind chatter that accompanies all of these choices "time to get out of bed" "time to get the coffee started" and those are just the beginning. "I think I'll check my FB, write a little in my blog...but what should I write about? I know, I'll write about choices"...yeah...just catch yourself in the act sometime!! We do this SO unconsciously---but our choices are the outward expression of who we are inside. And behind or underneath all of these choices, there lies a reason. Sometimes it is for comfort, sometimes it is because it needs to be done, sometimes it is because no one else will do it...mostly though, we choose what is important to us. The choice we ultimately make after the internal dialog is always the one that we feel is most beneficial. Consideration also plays a role in any final decisions we make...but what rings true with each choice we make...is what or whom we consider and what or whom benefits from that choice. A choice always begins as a secret (inner) consideration of importance FIRST and then we manifest this choice into a palpable action for us to experience and for others to observe. It is the fruit of the spirit....the wine of the water....the word. It is bred of intention and is then fueled by motivation. The choices we make and the patterns of those choices are what we become identified by--our "mark" that comes before us...as if it were imprinted upon our foreheads. We are known by this mark. The underlying intention yields the outward reason. Our reasons need no explanation or defense or justification....our reasons and who we are blend to make one. And I have said before and will say again a million times....the end result of something ALWAYS matches the initial intent.
The use of free will has become abundantly abused and treated as if it were a part of a "3 wishes genie lamp" or "if you had one day to live, what would you do" kinda thing. I have observed people who have been rubbing that lamp and DYING their entire lives. They feel entitled to all that can be given to them. They don't attach any sense of personal responsibility to their choices---but they are masters at assigning it to others and then playing the "ignorance" "I don't know" and "I don't have an answer for that" card.
You can plainly see and point out those who have control of their lives and those who are controlled by everything and everyone else---but this is a willingness...not a victimization by the outer world. It is really an attack against themselves---though they have themselves convinced it is everything and everyone else's fault. You will hear someone controlled by circumstance and a need for acceptance and approval say on a pretty regular basis "I wasn't looking for it...it just happened." Although these words can be spoken by anyone ...they are not usually part of a continual repertoire attempting to defend an action. If you read between the lines of these words, what they actually are saying is "I had no control over it, it is the fault of the circumstance." They defend their "intention" by saying "I wasn't looking for it"...but it happened anyway (TO ME). So these words are meant to deflect their responsibility of the choice they made and somehow make them look like a victim of circumstance.
People who exert control over their lives are those who consistently make conscientious decisions...they are well-thought out and all things are considered. They are the ones whose lives seem to be on track and the company they keep seem to have the same mindset. They are the ones who often say "I thought about it and decided it was or wasn't the best thing to do" or "I'm happy with the decision I have made" or "I make no apologies for the choices I've made." What they are really saying is "I've taken full responsibility for the choice I made in this circumstance" "I own the choices I've made." Can you see the difference?
And we all make mistakes and sometimes spur-of-the-moment decisions....but the wise choose insight to figure out why they've made choices that negatively impact their lives so that they lessen the chances of it happening again. The unwise...never learn. They cannot use insight---and don't even know what it is...because every choice they make is governed by all that is outside where nothing else is considered but that circumstance in that particular moment in time. They crave approval, adoration, suspense, and new, all the time--but it is so funny that as transparent as they become behind their actions, they always try to defend them in some way...and ignorance is usually the most played card--with pity coming in a very close second. What creates this mindset and way of life?
What is the difference between these two mindsets? Why is one more apt to go "wait a minute, I need to really think about this" and another so easily persuaded and led without a single thought about consequence? You almost have to think that it is as simple as one actually cares and one really doesn't. And on the surface, this is true...but if we were to dig a little deeper (cuz that's how I roll!!)...what is it that causes one person to be careless and another to care? There could be various reasons, but I think that it is the difference between a healthy sense of self vs. the unhealthy. The one thing I am definitely convinced of though is whichever mindset you use...it is right for you.
This quote sums it up..."Our lives are the total sum of our choices" Some live by the premise of "do onto others as you would have them do unto you" and some live by "do to others before they have a chance to do it to you." Empathy is the missing link...lack of emotional intelligence.
The difference between reason and excuse:
A reason needs no explanation nor defense...and excuse always defends and more than likely...it is yourself or your actions you are justifying. For example: If your low-gas light in your car is on and the bell is dinging...and you have 60 miles to travel, you will more than likely get gas before you venture on. No one has to ask you WHY you got gas...the REASON you got gas is because you were low and had many miles left to travel...the car needs gas to function...period. The reason is obvious. However, same scenario...but this time, you decide not to get gas, you run out of gas...call a friend to bring enough gas to get you to a gas station...someone is going to ask Why DIDN'T you get gas? And then...there is the "excuse." If common sense dictates that cars run on gas and you are on empty before venturing on a 60-mile trip and you neglect to get what the vehicle needs to take you there...then what is the reason---something to do with YOU. Maybe you didn't feel like getting it, maybe you thought you had more than you actually did, maybe you thought you could make it to the next gas station...who knows...but the reason really is neglect to take proper care, do the right thing...and no consideration of consequence. THAT is the reason...and I wouldn't even need anyone to explain it to me. I already know.
The reason needs no explanation...it is the core...the excuse is a mask of intent...they are not interchangeable. So, wherever you find yourself in your life is exactly where you put yourself....the reason...because that is where you want to be or where your intention put you. If you continually find yourself back at square one, one has to assume that you like it that way, this is the right way for you. Your choices reflect the life you live and the life you live is a direct reflection of your choices. If you find people asking you why you make the choices you do or commenting on the choices you've made, more than likely, they are looking for validation of a moral compass in there somewhere---not necessarily an "explanation." The reasons are already apparent and no amount of band-aid words (excuses) begin to cover them. More than likely....these questions are an attempt to make you look inside yourself for the answer...not to elicit a defensive response. In other words...they are questions that you should probably be asking yourself.
Basic difference...any decision that is under your control, you own. Any decision that is not..is a valid reason.
"Insanity--doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."~Albert Einstein. VERY true story!!
So choices---simply, because you can? Or....more importantly, because you have a responsibility to care for and about yourself, your life, and that also of your fellow man?
Most people already know the difference. The questions are really rhetorical.
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."~Joanne Kathleen Rowling.
"To live is to choose--but to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there."~Kofi Annan.
"Until a person can say deeply and honestly 'I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday', that person cannot say 'I choose otherwise.."~Steven R. Covey.
"Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there is all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish what can and what cannot be helped, acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes that will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens."~Arthur Gordon.
"Do or do not, there is no try."~Yoda.
"The robber of your free will...writes Epictetus, does not exist."~Marcus Aurelius.
"Don't do what you'll have to find an excuse for."~Proverb.
"Excuses are the tools with which persons with no purpose in view build for themselves great mountains of nothing."~Steven Grayhm.
And finally....."There is no such thing as a list of reasons. There is either one sufficient reason or a list of excuses.~Robert Brault.
On a personal note...I raised my children with this thought: Whatever commitment you are thinking of making--think long and hard about it before you make the final decision to enter into it. Once that promise is made, you will not be permitted to quit. Others are counting on your presence. Whatever it is you make a choice to do...do it to the very best of your ability, because if you don't, you will let yourself and others down...and you will, yourself regret it, and others will see you as someone who cannot be counted on. Holding fast to your promise and doing your very best will never make you shameful...however, going against a promise or a haphazard performance breeds it. Although there are never any guarantees in life and there WILL be times when all of the effort you can possibly expend will not seem to make a difference, or when circumstances beyond your control will seemingly render your efforts meaningless--those are the times when fate is telling you that this particular venture just isn't meant to be for YOU. However, even in those times, wouldn't it be better to KNOW that there wasn't anything else you could have done differently because you gave it all you had...than to walk away with the burdensome feeling that you were..quite possibly... the reason it didn't work? I'm proud to say that for the most part...my now-adult children understand this and through this concept alone, they've achieved personal successes that were beyond their own expectations and have a pretty good grasp of who they are.,..and the best part of it is THEY are not ashamed.
That's it for today kids....have a good night!! :)
Peace.
I've been focusing quite a bit lately on the enormous amount of choices we make in just one day, one minute, one hour. To be honest...that is what our entire life is spent doing. Then there is the incessant mind chatter that accompanies all of these choices "time to get out of bed" "time to get the coffee started" and those are just the beginning. "I think I'll check my FB, write a little in my blog...but what should I write about? I know, I'll write about choices"...yeah...just catch yourself in the act sometime!! We do this SO unconsciously---but our choices are the outward expression of who we are inside. And behind or underneath all of these choices, there lies a reason. Sometimes it is for comfort, sometimes it is because it needs to be done, sometimes it is because no one else will do it...mostly though, we choose what is important to us. The choice we ultimately make after the internal dialog is always the one that we feel is most beneficial. Consideration also plays a role in any final decisions we make...but what rings true with each choice we make...is what or whom we consider and what or whom benefits from that choice. A choice always begins as a secret (inner) consideration of importance FIRST and then we manifest this choice into a palpable action for us to experience and for others to observe. It is the fruit of the spirit....the wine of the water....the word. It is bred of intention and is then fueled by motivation. The choices we make and the patterns of those choices are what we become identified by--our "mark" that comes before us...as if it were imprinted upon our foreheads. We are known by this mark. The underlying intention yields the outward reason. Our reasons need no explanation or defense or justification....our reasons and who we are blend to make one. And I have said before and will say again a million times....the end result of something ALWAYS matches the initial intent.
The use of free will has become abundantly abused and treated as if it were a part of a "3 wishes genie lamp" or "if you had one day to live, what would you do" kinda thing. I have observed people who have been rubbing that lamp and DYING their entire lives. They feel entitled to all that can be given to them. They don't attach any sense of personal responsibility to their choices---but they are masters at assigning it to others and then playing the "ignorance" "I don't know" and "I don't have an answer for that" card.
You can plainly see and point out those who have control of their lives and those who are controlled by everything and everyone else---but this is a willingness...not a victimization by the outer world. It is really an attack against themselves---though they have themselves convinced it is everything and everyone else's fault. You will hear someone controlled by circumstance and a need for acceptance and approval say on a pretty regular basis "I wasn't looking for it...it just happened." Although these words can be spoken by anyone ...they are not usually part of a continual repertoire attempting to defend an action. If you read between the lines of these words, what they actually are saying is "I had no control over it, it is the fault of the circumstance." They defend their "intention" by saying "I wasn't looking for it"...but it happened anyway (TO ME). So these words are meant to deflect their responsibility of the choice they made and somehow make them look like a victim of circumstance.
People who exert control over their lives are those who consistently make conscientious decisions...they are well-thought out and all things are considered. They are the ones whose lives seem to be on track and the company they keep seem to have the same mindset. They are the ones who often say "I thought about it and decided it was or wasn't the best thing to do" or "I'm happy with the decision I have made" or "I make no apologies for the choices I've made." What they are really saying is "I've taken full responsibility for the choice I made in this circumstance" "I own the choices I've made." Can you see the difference?
And we all make mistakes and sometimes spur-of-the-moment decisions....but the wise choose insight to figure out why they've made choices that negatively impact their lives so that they lessen the chances of it happening again. The unwise...never learn. They cannot use insight---and don't even know what it is...because every choice they make is governed by all that is outside where nothing else is considered but that circumstance in that particular moment in time. They crave approval, adoration, suspense, and new, all the time--but it is so funny that as transparent as they become behind their actions, they always try to defend them in some way...and ignorance is usually the most played card--with pity coming in a very close second. What creates this mindset and way of life?
What is the difference between these two mindsets? Why is one more apt to go "wait a minute, I need to really think about this" and another so easily persuaded and led without a single thought about consequence? You almost have to think that it is as simple as one actually cares and one really doesn't. And on the surface, this is true...but if we were to dig a little deeper (cuz that's how I roll!!)...what is it that causes one person to be careless and another to care? There could be various reasons, but I think that it is the difference between a healthy sense of self vs. the unhealthy. The one thing I am definitely convinced of though is whichever mindset you use...it is right for you.
This quote sums it up..."Our lives are the total sum of our choices" Some live by the premise of "do onto others as you would have them do unto you" and some live by "do to others before they have a chance to do it to you." Empathy is the missing link...lack of emotional intelligence.
The difference between reason and excuse:
A reason needs no explanation nor defense...and excuse always defends and more than likely...it is yourself or your actions you are justifying. For example: If your low-gas light in your car is on and the bell is dinging...and you have 60 miles to travel, you will more than likely get gas before you venture on. No one has to ask you WHY you got gas...the REASON you got gas is because you were low and had many miles left to travel...the car needs gas to function...period. The reason is obvious. However, same scenario...but this time, you decide not to get gas, you run out of gas...call a friend to bring enough gas to get you to a gas station...someone is going to ask Why DIDN'T you get gas? And then...there is the "excuse." If common sense dictates that cars run on gas and you are on empty before venturing on a 60-mile trip and you neglect to get what the vehicle needs to take you there...then what is the reason---something to do with YOU. Maybe you didn't feel like getting it, maybe you thought you had more than you actually did, maybe you thought you could make it to the next gas station...who knows...but the reason really is neglect to take proper care, do the right thing...and no consideration of consequence. THAT is the reason...and I wouldn't even need anyone to explain it to me. I already know.
The reason needs no explanation...it is the core...the excuse is a mask of intent...they are not interchangeable. So, wherever you find yourself in your life is exactly where you put yourself....the reason...because that is where you want to be or where your intention put you. If you continually find yourself back at square one, one has to assume that you like it that way, this is the right way for you. Your choices reflect the life you live and the life you live is a direct reflection of your choices. If you find people asking you why you make the choices you do or commenting on the choices you've made, more than likely, they are looking for validation of a moral compass in there somewhere---not necessarily an "explanation." The reasons are already apparent and no amount of band-aid words (excuses) begin to cover them. More than likely....these questions are an attempt to make you look inside yourself for the answer...not to elicit a defensive response. In other words...they are questions that you should probably be asking yourself.
Basic difference...any decision that is under your control, you own. Any decision that is not..is a valid reason.
"Insanity--doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."~Albert Einstein. VERY true story!!
So choices---simply, because you can? Or....more importantly, because you have a responsibility to care for and about yourself, your life, and that also of your fellow man?
Most people already know the difference. The questions are really rhetorical.
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."~Joanne Kathleen Rowling.
"To live is to choose--but to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there."~Kofi Annan.
"Until a person can say deeply and honestly 'I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday', that person cannot say 'I choose otherwise.."~Steven R. Covey.
"Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there is all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish what can and what cannot be helped, acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes that will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens."~Arthur Gordon.
"Do or do not, there is no try."~Yoda.
"The robber of your free will...writes Epictetus, does not exist."~Marcus Aurelius.
"Don't do what you'll have to find an excuse for."~Proverb.
"Excuses are the tools with which persons with no purpose in view build for themselves great mountains of nothing."~Steven Grayhm.
And finally....."There is no such thing as a list of reasons. There is either one sufficient reason or a list of excuses.~Robert Brault.
On a personal note...I raised my children with this thought: Whatever commitment you are thinking of making--think long and hard about it before you make the final decision to enter into it. Once that promise is made, you will not be permitted to quit. Others are counting on your presence. Whatever it is you make a choice to do...do it to the very best of your ability, because if you don't, you will let yourself and others down...and you will, yourself regret it, and others will see you as someone who cannot be counted on. Holding fast to your promise and doing your very best will never make you shameful...however, going against a promise or a haphazard performance breeds it. Although there are never any guarantees in life and there WILL be times when all of the effort you can possibly expend will not seem to make a difference, or when circumstances beyond your control will seemingly render your efforts meaningless--those are the times when fate is telling you that this particular venture just isn't meant to be for YOU. However, even in those times, wouldn't it be better to KNOW that there wasn't anything else you could have done differently because you gave it all you had...than to walk away with the burdensome feeling that you were..quite possibly... the reason it didn't work? I'm proud to say that for the most part...my now-adult children understand this and through this concept alone, they've achieved personal successes that were beyond their own expectations and have a pretty good grasp of who they are.,..and the best part of it is THEY are not ashamed.
That's it for today kids....have a good night!! :)
Peace.
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