Good morning everyone!! Hope this new day brings with it new possibility, new opportunity, and a fresh new perspective on what it means to alive!!
So often, we allow our day to begin as a continuation of the worries of yesterday--and maybe even some, with a sense of dread--thinking things like "I hope today is a better day than yesterday" or "I don't FEEL like going to work, or running errands",or whatever it may be that we've planned for this new day ahead of time. We tend to need something positive to be going on in our lives to FOCUS on the positive...and we are somehow programmed on negative by default.
I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday who is experiencing some fallout from poor decisions (although this is the third time in a matter of a couple of years that I have heard the same story). She points her anger and her frustration at outside circumstances....and uses phrases like: "Why do I even bother getting out of bed every day." I began explaining to her the power of positive thinking, an attitude of gratitude, and making a list of things each day that she is grateful for. Her response "Well, I'm sure that may work for SOME people...but not everyone." Immediately, I thought of the T.D Jakes message I posted on Sunday. You will never get a BIG IDEA across to a small mind. They can think of all kinds of "outs" and excuses to NOT listen and or practice something that has been PROVEN to work in the life of the one encouraging them. They will profess their trust in your advice and constantly seek it...but as soon as you start talking positive mindset as it relates to possibility...their resistance to believe that something that simple could literally change the circumstances of their lives is obvious. However, if we were to closely examine the attitudes and mindset that has accompanied us into the "negative" predicament that we are in---I'm sure we would find a host of thoughts and senses that match. However, how do we break our denial? How do we stop playing the victim? How do we stop laying blame on the universe for being so unfair and so unjust? GET RID OF THE ATTITUDE OF ENTITLEMENT and the ATTACHMENT to the end result. Honesty plays a huge role in letting go of these components to our self-defeating mindset. I've heard people say in defense of their actions "What I am doing is really not hurting anyone else...so why should people care what I do--if it isn't hurting them" The answer to that is...when we are taking our "problems" and our "angst" and our "frustrations" to others---we EXPECT them to care, don't we?? Ahhh...but here lies the problem...what we LOOK for when we do this is maybe more validation of the way we feel than anything that may actually HELP the situation or shed light on OUR responsibility in the mess we find ourselves in. We just have SUCH a hard time being honest with ourselves don't we? And really, that is all it takes to turn your life around FOR GOOD!! If we find ourselves in the same situation over and over and over again....can we really blame the situation? What is the constant in this? Simple answer: "I" am. There is no dispute.... no argument good enough, and no excuse strong enough to convince anyone else that we have no part to play in all of this....especially if it is a totally OVERPLAYED scenario. Some people are just so bent on protecting their "image" or the "image they believe they have" that they are willing to allow their entire lives to fall apart around them...ya know...just so people don't think that they had anything to do with it. We have no problem allowing our negativity, our deceit, and our sense of entitlement to get us into trouble and create "lack" in our lives (because in this mindset, there is always something else "wanted" and always something else to project the blame upon when we don't get it), but we seem to have an extra-large problem even entertaining that a positive mindset, honesty, and gratitude could turn the tides the other way. We cling to the notion that "if I look honestly at my intentions, my motivations, and my actions leading up to this repeated crisis, I will lose the last little bit of respect I have for myself and then, NOTHING will ever change..because then, I know that I am (at the very least) partially responsible for the mess I've gotten myself into." I'm here to tell ya...that is a conditioned response. That is a lie. Anything that makes us fear is an untruth. What genuinely happens is quite contrary to what we think. When you are completely honest with yourself and see yourself complete with the lack of good judgement, the mistakes you've made, the miscalculations you've figured...you actually feel compassion for yourself. You begin to think..."wow, how insecure, hurt, afraid...(whatever emotion you can attach to it) I must have been to do this or that" You may even bash yourself and have a bit of a pity party for yourself, but once you realize that it was the broken parts of you that were ruling over what eventually turned into the mirror of your heart as your life...you begin to provide those hurts with self-nurturing salve...and as you begin to care for yourself, you begin to clearly see the alternatives. Once you make up your mind to take total control of your life...setting boundaries and adhering to them, you just innately begin to develop a new mindset--which in turn CHANGES YOUR LIFE for the better. There is no longer a need for a "fall-back" object of blame...there is no need for excuses and when you make a mistake, you know RIGHT AWAY, it was the wrong move.
Karma is impartial...it is universal justice. It is not a system of reward and punishment. It is a system of balance. But in order to achieve the balance it is consistently offering you, TRUTH has to prevail...the ability to recognize AND utilize it. Whether it works for or against you is completely dependent upon what you are willing to give to it. It works according to the truth about YOU. Look at it as a bank account of fate. Truthful and positive intent, motivation, and action are deposits. Deceitful (in any form--be it used against another or yourself), self-serving intent, motivation, and actions are withdrawals. Just as a bank account earns you more interest the more you deposit into it, Karma does the same. It builds more positive. Too many withdrawals and you are left with nothing...nothing to build interest upon and no interest..and Karma is right there too giving you MORE of that. You can't get blood from a rock...right? If you are not building, you are destroying. If you are not contributing, you are stealing. Until we realize this...we are dependent upon outcome that is completely out of our control and one in which the shots are called FOR us--which we could term fate's welfare system.
As I pointed out in an earlier post...it is all about choices. If you choose NOT to live in truth..that is your choice. But really, don't expect others to applaud you or tell you what you want to hear or even adapt to your way of thinking...when your way is obviously NOT working for you. If you ever settle with the mindset that you are the "exception to the rule", a harsh reality will soon follow and the more you run from the truth, the deeper you will bury yourself.
So really...positive builds positive...negative builds negative...not really too much of a stellar concept there. And it applies to EVERYONE...it doesn't "work for some and not for others"...to ever believe something like that is to mock the life you have been blessed to live to the fullest if you so CHOOSE to do so.
I get SO frustrated sometimes trying to explain self-proven concepts to others (who bring their problems or upsets to ME). I don't go out looking for lives to butt into. I have to laugh when I listen to the "What's the Big Deal" message, because I can so relate..you just begin to lose interest...in mid-conversation and then, just altogether. I look at it this way...if you already HAVE things that you are grateful and appreciative for...then WHY not give THOSE things your attention...why is it so easy for us to lose sight of all things good when ONE area in our lives is not going the best? Are our blessings just a piece of shit-cake because we don't have what we WANT when we want it exactly the way we want it? Does everything have to be just perfect before we can see anything that way? And do we really deserve the things we want...or just feel we should have them despite the lack of personal contribution we make. Do we make our own bed? Yeah, sorry to say, we do.
I have many times in my life been in what I thought was a no-win situation...living in the depths of depression, hopelessness, and at times, helplessness--I've tried the "blame it on everything and everyone" else game...and it keeps your EGO intact, but it doesn't stop your LIFE from falling apart. I would never ask anyone or suggest to anyone something I haven't done myself or even better...something that someone hasn't SEEN me do myself. If I preach it, it is because I've lived it, been there, done that. If you trust me enough with the intimate details of your life to share them with me, then you probably shouldn't scoff at the words of experience I share with you--because if you know me, you already know how I am going to approach it. If it isn't what you want to hear...then maybe you should find an alternative source of what it is that you seek--is it justification or perspective? Just as inconceivable as something so simple as a positive outlook and appreciation and love for for what you have instead of dwelling on the lack could actually make the difference in your circumstance is my inability to conceive how a redundant crisis could present itself over and over again within a pretty tight time-frame without some sort of change in thought, attitude, intent, or action.
Impasse?? I believe so. Am I bothered by it? Absolutely not. I no longer feel the need to put my energies into rescuing others. I can only share what has worked for me and then fall back within the healthy boundaries I have set for myself. I have no need whatsoever to be anyone else's savior or hero. I do; however, owe it to myself to make choices I am proud of.
"Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime."~Chinese proverb.
This proverb seems so clear-cut and truthful, doesn't it...it makes perfect sense. However, what if the man chooses not to utilize what he has been taught? THIS is the gap. It seems absurd to me that one would choose to blame the fish for not biting, or the weather for being uncooperative, and then reduce their own power of choice to either the charitable contributions of others or starvation. BUT hey, that image is intact, isn't it? lol
Sorry about the ranting nature of this entry. Sometimes, that steam valve needs to blow open to release the pressure.
"Evaluating the benefits and drawbacks of any relationship is your responsibility. You do not have to passively accept what is brought to you. You can choose."~Deborah Day.
"The most important distinction anyone can ever make in their life is between who they are as an individual and their connection with others."~Anne Linden.
Have a great day everyone...xoxoxox
So often, we allow our day to begin as a continuation of the worries of yesterday--and maybe even some, with a sense of dread--thinking things like "I hope today is a better day than yesterday" or "I don't FEEL like going to work, or running errands",or whatever it may be that we've planned for this new day ahead of time. We tend to need something positive to be going on in our lives to FOCUS on the positive...and we are somehow programmed on negative by default.
I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday who is experiencing some fallout from poor decisions (although this is the third time in a matter of a couple of years that I have heard the same story). She points her anger and her frustration at outside circumstances....and uses phrases like: "Why do I even bother getting out of bed every day." I began explaining to her the power of positive thinking, an attitude of gratitude, and making a list of things each day that she is grateful for. Her response "Well, I'm sure that may work for SOME people...but not everyone." Immediately, I thought of the T.D Jakes message I posted on Sunday. You will never get a BIG IDEA across to a small mind. They can think of all kinds of "outs" and excuses to NOT listen and or practice something that has been PROVEN to work in the life of the one encouraging them. They will profess their trust in your advice and constantly seek it...but as soon as you start talking positive mindset as it relates to possibility...their resistance to believe that something that simple could literally change the circumstances of their lives is obvious. However, if we were to closely examine the attitudes and mindset that has accompanied us into the "negative" predicament that we are in---I'm sure we would find a host of thoughts and senses that match. However, how do we break our denial? How do we stop playing the victim? How do we stop laying blame on the universe for being so unfair and so unjust? GET RID OF THE ATTITUDE OF ENTITLEMENT and the ATTACHMENT to the end result. Honesty plays a huge role in letting go of these components to our self-defeating mindset. I've heard people say in defense of their actions "What I am doing is really not hurting anyone else...so why should people care what I do--if it isn't hurting them" The answer to that is...when we are taking our "problems" and our "angst" and our "frustrations" to others---we EXPECT them to care, don't we?? Ahhh...but here lies the problem...what we LOOK for when we do this is maybe more validation of the way we feel than anything that may actually HELP the situation or shed light on OUR responsibility in the mess we find ourselves in. We just have SUCH a hard time being honest with ourselves don't we? And really, that is all it takes to turn your life around FOR GOOD!! If we find ourselves in the same situation over and over and over again....can we really blame the situation? What is the constant in this? Simple answer: "I" am. There is no dispute.... no argument good enough, and no excuse strong enough to convince anyone else that we have no part to play in all of this....especially if it is a totally OVERPLAYED scenario. Some people are just so bent on protecting their "image" or the "image they believe they have" that they are willing to allow their entire lives to fall apart around them...ya know...just so people don't think that they had anything to do with it. We have no problem allowing our negativity, our deceit, and our sense of entitlement to get us into trouble and create "lack" in our lives (because in this mindset, there is always something else "wanted" and always something else to project the blame upon when we don't get it), but we seem to have an extra-large problem even entertaining that a positive mindset, honesty, and gratitude could turn the tides the other way. We cling to the notion that "if I look honestly at my intentions, my motivations, and my actions leading up to this repeated crisis, I will lose the last little bit of respect I have for myself and then, NOTHING will ever change..because then, I know that I am (at the very least) partially responsible for the mess I've gotten myself into." I'm here to tell ya...that is a conditioned response. That is a lie. Anything that makes us fear is an untruth. What genuinely happens is quite contrary to what we think. When you are completely honest with yourself and see yourself complete with the lack of good judgement, the mistakes you've made, the miscalculations you've figured...you actually feel compassion for yourself. You begin to think..."wow, how insecure, hurt, afraid...(whatever emotion you can attach to it) I must have been to do this or that" You may even bash yourself and have a bit of a pity party for yourself, but once you realize that it was the broken parts of you that were ruling over what eventually turned into the mirror of your heart as your life...you begin to provide those hurts with self-nurturing salve...and as you begin to care for yourself, you begin to clearly see the alternatives. Once you make up your mind to take total control of your life...setting boundaries and adhering to them, you just innately begin to develop a new mindset--which in turn CHANGES YOUR LIFE for the better. There is no longer a need for a "fall-back" object of blame...there is no need for excuses and when you make a mistake, you know RIGHT AWAY, it was the wrong move.
Karma is impartial...it is universal justice. It is not a system of reward and punishment. It is a system of balance. But in order to achieve the balance it is consistently offering you, TRUTH has to prevail...the ability to recognize AND utilize it. Whether it works for or against you is completely dependent upon what you are willing to give to it. It works according to the truth about YOU. Look at it as a bank account of fate. Truthful and positive intent, motivation, and action are deposits. Deceitful (in any form--be it used against another or yourself), self-serving intent, motivation, and actions are withdrawals. Just as a bank account earns you more interest the more you deposit into it, Karma does the same. It builds more positive. Too many withdrawals and you are left with nothing...nothing to build interest upon and no interest..and Karma is right there too giving you MORE of that. You can't get blood from a rock...right? If you are not building, you are destroying. If you are not contributing, you are stealing. Until we realize this...we are dependent upon outcome that is completely out of our control and one in which the shots are called FOR us--which we could term fate's welfare system.
As I pointed out in an earlier post...it is all about choices. If you choose NOT to live in truth..that is your choice. But really, don't expect others to applaud you or tell you what you want to hear or even adapt to your way of thinking...when your way is obviously NOT working for you. If you ever settle with the mindset that you are the "exception to the rule", a harsh reality will soon follow and the more you run from the truth, the deeper you will bury yourself.
So really...positive builds positive...negative builds negative...not really too much of a stellar concept there. And it applies to EVERYONE...it doesn't "work for some and not for others"...to ever believe something like that is to mock the life you have been blessed to live to the fullest if you so CHOOSE to do so.
I get SO frustrated sometimes trying to explain self-proven concepts to others (who bring their problems or upsets to ME). I don't go out looking for lives to butt into. I have to laugh when I listen to the "What's the Big Deal" message, because I can so relate..you just begin to lose interest...in mid-conversation and then, just altogether. I look at it this way...if you already HAVE things that you are grateful and appreciative for...then WHY not give THOSE things your attention...why is it so easy for us to lose sight of all things good when ONE area in our lives is not going the best? Are our blessings just a piece of shit-cake because we don't have what we WANT when we want it exactly the way we want it? Does everything have to be just perfect before we can see anything that way? And do we really deserve the things we want...or just feel we should have them despite the lack of personal contribution we make. Do we make our own bed? Yeah, sorry to say, we do.
I have many times in my life been in what I thought was a no-win situation...living in the depths of depression, hopelessness, and at times, helplessness--I've tried the "blame it on everything and everyone" else game...and it keeps your EGO intact, but it doesn't stop your LIFE from falling apart. I would never ask anyone or suggest to anyone something I haven't done myself or even better...something that someone hasn't SEEN me do myself. If I preach it, it is because I've lived it, been there, done that. If you trust me enough with the intimate details of your life to share them with me, then you probably shouldn't scoff at the words of experience I share with you--because if you know me, you already know how I am going to approach it. If it isn't what you want to hear...then maybe you should find an alternative source of what it is that you seek--is it justification or perspective? Just as inconceivable as something so simple as a positive outlook and appreciation and love for for what you have instead of dwelling on the lack could actually make the difference in your circumstance is my inability to conceive how a redundant crisis could present itself over and over again within a pretty tight time-frame without some sort of change in thought, attitude, intent, or action.
Impasse?? I believe so. Am I bothered by it? Absolutely not. I no longer feel the need to put my energies into rescuing others. I can only share what has worked for me and then fall back within the healthy boundaries I have set for myself. I have no need whatsoever to be anyone else's savior or hero. I do; however, owe it to myself to make choices I am proud of.
"Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime."~Chinese proverb.
This proverb seems so clear-cut and truthful, doesn't it...it makes perfect sense. However, what if the man chooses not to utilize what he has been taught? THIS is the gap. It seems absurd to me that one would choose to blame the fish for not biting, or the weather for being uncooperative, and then reduce their own power of choice to either the charitable contributions of others or starvation. BUT hey, that image is intact, isn't it? lol
Sorry about the ranting nature of this entry. Sometimes, that steam valve needs to blow open to release the pressure.
"Evaluating the benefits and drawbacks of any relationship is your responsibility. You do not have to passively accept what is brought to you. You can choose."~Deborah Day.
"The most important distinction anyone can ever make in their life is between who they are as an individual and their connection with others."~Anne Linden.
Have a great day everyone...xoxoxox
No comments:
Post a Comment