Good Monday morning everyone!
Don't know where you are all located, but WOW, we have had some stifling, thick, and obtrusive weather up here!! It just drains the energy right out of you. When you live in the area where I do, there always seems to be a complaint of some sort about the weather...we have changing seasons...so when it is cold, we want it to be warm, when it is hot, we want it to be cool, when it rains too much, we want it to dry up, and on and on the complaint train goes. Because we get such an assortment of weather patterns, I guess we feel like we should be able to pick and choose the "weather of the day." However, that is not the way it goes..and yet we never stop trying to control something we have absolutely NO control over, but I guess it makes us feel better if we can at least voice our discomfort and move on.
I guess I am just one of these "middle of the road" kinda people...I like balance..and am discomforted by any extreme. Don't like real COLD or real HOT..too MUCH or to LITTLE..I guess I have a "baby bear" mentality. Everything in moderation...and JUST RIGHT, even though that is nearly impossible..well, with anything besides yourself. Within yourself, you can be "just right" but it is such a struggle when there are things we innately wish and hope for outside of ourselves (those things we have no say over). But INSIDE, we can tweak ANYTHING about ourselves to achieve that inside balance..but we get stuck in a cycle of trying to bring harmony to the things "out" with the things "in" in order to find our "comfort." There are sometimes even extreme decisions we have to make for change that are the "sting" of discomfort at first for the sake of lasting peace later. There are things we are FORCED to see even when inside we make excuses for, try to avoid believing...but nevertheless..the truth...which is very rarely EVER plain and simple...especially when your hope and belief is so strong in the other direction. So in these cases, we try to change and arrange the circumstaces, we try to communicate our discomfort, to work through the problems..with the old antage in the back of our minds that anything worth having is worth working for. But what if the differences are just SO extreme that it stalemates all the time...what if one point of view cannot even be fathomed by the other and you always walk away "agreeing to disagree" and then nothing gets solved and there is never real understanding or point of contentment reached? What if the reasoning or the vantage point in which two people look at something is so vastly different and comes from such different places that you seem to be wasting precious "air-time" solving nothing, and you are onstantly "moving forward" but to WHERE..unsolved differences, unsolved problems, no understanding whatsoever of where the other is even coming from..you just DROP it until the NEXT TIME. "I'm just sittin' here watching the wheels go 'round and 'round...I really love to watch them roll." (Sorry...that song just popped into my head while writing and figured I would give John Lennon and those words tribute in my thoughts this morning)!
There are so many times when we compartmentalize our discomforts into "seperate problems, incidents, or circumstances." We move from cirumstance to circumstance, trying to work through them as if they are a set of random happenings...or we fail to realize that it is not just a financial problem or a relationship problem or whatever the case may be...we start to get tunnel vision aimed at where our discomfort for the day lies...UNTIL, one day, the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle of circumstances gets put into place to see the WHOLE picture..and once that whole picture is in view, you look back at the struggle to find the place for all of the pieces and it all MAKES PERFECT SENSE...and the over-riding influence that spawned these "smaller problems" is in your FACE, undeniable and you realize that you have always really known, but there it is, right in front of you...you think back to find that it always has been...you just wanted "comfort" so bad, you overlooked, hoped, and wished your way through everything just to survive...you have been comforting YOURSELF the entire time with LIES. The truth can be a cold, hard bitch sometimes and she has no sympathy, empathy, nor cause for concern of your discomfort..she is what she is...like her or not...you HAVE to accept her. Even the greatest proponent for truth in everything has no problem lying to him/herself. We don't want to discomfort "others" with lies, secrets, deception...but we have NO problem comforting OURSELVES with them, do we? WOW! The biggest victory of all is to conquer self...We become so entwined and dedicated to being honest with everyone else and yet we lie to ourselves with such ease and discomfort ourselves with NO problem, because even the little bit of comfort we find in doing this at the time does not cancel out the discomfort of the chaos our subconscious puts us through in doing so. Short term solution for a long-term problem...it is AVOIDANCE, ESCAPISM, and ACCEPTANCE of self abuse, and for what? This is the hardest question to answer but one that truth demands you to answer sooner or later...she won't leave you alone until you do.
There is a huge difference between acting on opportunity (simply because you can) and acting out of character. There is also a huge difference in a thought process based on impulsivity and one of principle and one will never understand the other. There is afterthought and forethought. People defend what they "believe" because it is who they are. Everyone is different...and we should accept and embrace these differences in each other, as long as they don't force us to act against ourselves...
This quote I just found is PERFECT...
"God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose. Take which you please - you can never have both." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for truth - and truth rewarded me." ~Simone de Beauvoir
"We do not err because truth is difficult to see. It is visible at a glance. We err because this is more comfortable." ~Alexander Solzhenitsyn
More and more, truth seems to be pragmatic...everyone has their own..and it comes from all kinds of different places...the struggle is to find common ground if there is any at all to be found.
Signed--
Workin' through.
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