"The Battle of Evermore"...challenge for the sake of it...

What a beautiful morning!! It is so nice to wake up to birds singing, the sun shining, and warmer temperatures!! Spring is on its way...the time of rebirth and filling the void of sullen silences with the sights, sounds, and textures of LIFE!! How I love spring and the energy it brings with it!! A time where the 4-walls of home extend into nature--OUTSIDE!!

With the time of rebirth just around the corner, I've had time to ponder some thoughts about change. I've taken quite a bit of time off from writing of any kind (here and my book) because sometimes, the quiet and seemingly nonproductive time spent in between becomes the very catalyst for what you put your hand to write. It is that gathering thing again. There are times in the life of a writer when they find themselves "reaching" for something to say, and this is just not the natural way of things. If you feel that somewhere deep inside you were "commissioned" to write or paint or compose music and it isn't free-flowing, then something is telling you to stop talking for a while and just LISTEN. Your gift is never about "thinking"...it is about knowing. In everything, there is a season.

I'd like to talk a bit about challenge. Challenge is something that anyone with any creative vision at all will invariably come against. I would even venture to say, it is something that anyone of creative capacity craves, seeks, and runs head first into without much hesitation or reservation. However, I have learned that challenge comes in many different forms. Some are of immense value, and others are totally meaningless. Any challenge worth facing, going up against, and rising above are those that lend themselves to personal growth--the challenging of self. The detrimental challenges and those that yield nothing are those of superiority and power over others.

Even though there may be some element of challenging yourself and your resourcefulness, your creative capabilities, and polishing maybe some of your intuitive skill in the latter mentioned "detrimental" type of challenge, there is really no result because what you are essentially doing is coming against another in a struggle for power, a struggle to change a perspective (which is for each of us to do on our own). It essentially becomes a game of pure defense, where no one scores, no one wins, and it is just back and forth, back and forth. It wastes time, energy, and throws you completely off the track of your destiny. It becomes a distraction from those challenges that promote growth, harmony, and a positive, tangible result that leads to inner peace.

I've learned that I, myself have become addicted to challenge and problem solving. I do it WELL, it is probably the thing I do best. I am not one to leave loose ends. I am not an up-in-the-air kind of person. I am a seeker, I am a planner, I am a builder, and I am the security guard over all of it. If there is something in my life that I feel is left undone, unresolved, unkempt, or unfinished...I cannot sleep at night. I cannot function--but if one challenge after the other is coming at me faster than I can think or move, and my propensity is to jump "all in" and take it on full-force, it then distracts me from finishing anything...and it is an endless circle of unfinished business. These are empty challenges that benefit nothing or no one. The world is FULL of these types of challenges--"It's all been done."

Sadly, there are people whose lives are based upon nothing more than the thrill of the challenge for power. I can relate to that adrenaline high that you get when you run straight into something that you have no idea how you are going to get through and your creative processes kick in all at once and flood you with that sense of well-being--that "I GOT THIS" mentality. Now, you are in it to WIN it. Win what?? Take it from me...there is no winning. When it is one will against another for dominion, the battle is never-ending. I have also seen that the biggest distraction this type of life offers is the distraction FROM one's self. It disables you from looking at yourself...it is a place of escape through the chaos.

I have also learned that there are things that you work WITH and things that you leave alone. There is no conquering anything but ourselves and our propensities for self-sabotage. Challenge for the sake of it leads nowhere. After a time, it tends to confuse you into believing that peace is boredom...you begin to need that adrenaline fix, that sense of power you get when you incessantly face what seems like an impossible situation and call out all your creative capacity to solve...but soon find that there is no resolution, just another incapacitating problem in its place to keep you busy, keep you in denial, keep you trapped.

I disengage, drop my weapons, retreat, & surrender. I am still. I am listening. I am seeing, hearing, and feeling by subtle intention. I need not win anything...I need; however, to feel complete and full.

Good day everyone...embrace it entirely!!

Love,
Raina