The Master Plan

Good morning folks!

Lately, music has played a huge part of some pretty profound epiphanic moments for me. I find it almost prophetic how some older songs get cataloged and thrown back in the archives of our minds but then come back to speak real meaning into our lives--sometimes, many years later. Thinking back to this particular song, I remember Bonnie Raitt's bluesy spin on the Motown-ish vibe of the music striking some sort of chord with me...but I really didn't pay too much attention to the words. So it moved my body, but at the time it came out, it really said nothing to my spirit. There is a reason for that--and there is a reason why some part of this song stuck out to me...because later down the road, its nostalgic tone would draw me in to actually listen to the ENTIRE piece. Unbeknownst to me, it would culminate to speak volumes to me as it revisited, and this time, I would throw down the red-carpet welcome. If I am being honest, it choked me up a bit---and I found it to be a bit bittersweet, but so validating. It is also a song of hope and joy...coming at a time in your life when you least expect it.

The circle of life is probably the hardest, but most rewarding trip we will ever pursue. Its peaks and valleys, it's uphill terrain--it's slippery slopes, all of the woulda, coulda, shoulda's...and will be's, can be's and shall be's...all a big circle. We come into this world dependent, gain strength, wisdom, and good health, we age and lines begin to appear and hormone levels begin to drop, we become elderly and again...dependent. Mid-life is probably the most teachable and if we are open, the most learned moment in our lives. It is where the shift takes place...where we begin to travel backwards (or so it seems). But this is all the mystical workings of the grander scheme and a master plan. It is a FORCED--no holds barred, no ifs, ands, or buts...LETTING GO and beginning again for everyone. No matter your financial worth, your relationship and/or marital status, whether you have made it big, or just got by....you WILL go through this period.

If you really think about it (and believe me, I DO), at the time when our children are grown and embarking on a life of their own (if you have them), our lives just suddenly change. Out of the blue, you no longer have that pang of responsibility for another human being's complete life. Your role changes...you become more of a "distanced supporter" than an active participant--almost like a very close friendship. They have their own mind, make their own decisions, and we allow (begrudgingly, at first...but eventually PREFER) them to do so.

Our focus then gets turned inward. Kind of like being a teen-ager again...where we still have a lot of life left in us and a great big world out there to explore. We assign responsibility to only those things we CHOOSE to assign it to and we learn that the only thing we can really be completely responsible for now is ourselves. We stop trying to fix everything, help everyone, and begin to focus on what this precious life has to offer us. When we are young, we are in SUCH a rush to grow up...at midlife--as we look into same eyes of our "babies" now staring back at us through the face of an adult, we are reminded how fast time slips away and we want to just slow it all down...or even make it stop completely---and speaking for myself, this is the only time I can remember in my life where I can actually say I have experienced moments where time has stood still. How awesome are those "still shots" of life where you completely capture the entire essence of "this very moment." Is it that we allow this to happen or could it be that this is just the part of the circle that we now occupy? I think it is both...and I think it is orchestrated. It just feels much bigger than me. It is a very strange transition and initially, a difficult road to navigate, but once we accept it and grow into it, it "goes well with us."

I think that we begin to fear our very own independence, as it has been so long since we have not had to consider someone else's place in our decisions. It is almost that same fear that the 19-year-old has in the back of his/her mind about gaining theirs for the first time...leaving the unyielding protection and guidance of their parents. Only, now, it is at the forefront of ours because we have been there before...and we have traveled down some pretty dark and hellish roads, only we have gained something....something priceless---WISDOM---and it is this wisdom that gets our attention, turns our heads, makes time stand still, and chokes us up, when we hear and old song breathe new life and bring new meaning. Sometimes, you are not in a place where you can fully appreciate something so beautiful...or understand a message so profound....sometimes it is the prophetic nature of certain things that touch us, and time is the author of any prophecy.

I don't think I have ever felt so comfortable in my own wrinkly, aged skin--nor my creaky, snap-crackle-pop bones. Going from being "scared I'll run outta time" to living a life of no regret and finding "love in the nick of time." I'll take it--and RUN with it..well, at least until I can't run anymore!! And even then, I will be glad I did...if I can remember...and if I can't, I'm sure my kids will remind me when they become my caretakers and prepare me for delivery back into the arms of whence I came...

((Hugs)) ;)