Hi folks!
Well, my little Hester started in just a little too early for me this morning--about 5 a.m., so I got up, let her out of my room thinking maybe she was hungry and wanted to get downstairs to the food dish--KNOWING somewhere in my mind this was wishful thinking...but I gave it a shot anyway and just as I suspected, that was NOT good enough for her...nope, she wanted ME up to accompany her. So the next hour or so was spent listening to her relentlessly dig at the bottom of my door, the carpet beneath it, and meowing (though very quietly)...as she isn't one who is very boistrous to begin with. Nonetheless, her mission was to "wake me"...mission accomplished. My mission was to sleep an extra hour...mission foiled.
As completely innocent and nondescript as this little story must sound and just a normal "one of those things that happen" in a "day in the life" and everyone has them....it sorta forced me to look inside a little bit. I like the fact that Hester sleeps with me each nite and I even like the fact that she wakes me each morning, but I am beginnning to see that it has become on "her" terms. How does this happen right before our eyes without us really even seeing it. And how many areas of my life is this phenomenon <--for the lack of a better term, happening? I cut my little fur baby some slack as she is an animal and lacks a little thing called verbal communication and has to use what she is equipped with to let me know what she wants...but is it nonetheless just "pushing buttons?" And how does she know what annoys me enough...makes me happy enough...and even though I put her outside of my door and closed her out, what made her "tunnel vision" this attempt until she got what she wanted...because I CAVE...that's why. She knows my weaknesses and monopolizes on them. I have taught her how to treat me, get over on me, and basically control me. Hmmmm...how embarrassing. I have always thought of myself as a pretty democratic person...I've raised my children in a pretty democratic household where they are included in the decision making but where I really make the final decision...but feel it important to take EVERYONE'S feelings and opinions into consideration before making that decision...after all, they all have needs and feelings...even the animals....and they live here and everyone and everything deserves to and will be respected. I have found though that this kind of "democracy" does lend itself to hostile takeover whenever I decide to make a decision based on SELF respect...hard pill to swallow, to find that the example you set for others to respect others, consider others, and place others above yourself most times turns you into a DOORMAT...which I assure you is NOT the intent...it is meant to teach a give-and-take proposition. I will give when it is warranted to you...you will give when it is warranted to me. They say "live before" and "be the change you want to see in the world" and that it is better to teach by example than how most of my generation was raised...by the old "do as I say, not as I do" philosophy. Only I can see so many areas in my very own life where the former has come back to bite me in the ass...or claw me in the face...as the case may be!
Changing the subject just a bit..becuz to me (with only a 1/2 cup of coffee ingested) it may seem a different direction..but very relative. Funny things, STRENGTH and INDEPENDENCE are. These words seem to be thrown into the mix whenever someone who exhibits these qualities and/or virtues is in crisis. "You're a strong woman, you'll be fine" or "You've started over before with less than you have now" & they are great "fire under your ass starters" but sometimes THAT candle's wick is lost underneath all the melted wax of that light burning bright for so long...and I will assure you that these words DO NOT take the place of compassion and where applicable, remorse. I have many virtues...although most get overlooked in favor of my strength...and I have found that if people see this in you, they just figure that you can HANDLE whatever gets thrown your way, as you have proven to do this time and time again...but what they neglect to see is what adversity you suffer first..there is great suffering in the strong, and will go out on a limb and say WAY more than that experienced by the WEAK. To the weak, everything is a crisis, it seems.
So to sum this up...I leave you with a thought for the day...CONSIDER ALL THINGS...not just you're interpretation because there could very well be someone close to you, even very outwardly...begging you to see past their strength and unselfishness to offer back some of what they continually offer you. The character traits of someone in no way make them INHUMAN or immune to confusion and hurt feelings. They may have carried your burdens for YOU when you needed it the most....consider this...they may not have enough room on their shoulders to carry their own.
Namaste.
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