Another morning of no sunshine :( and it has been quite chilly. You should not have to use your heat in the middle of May! It was another night of tossing and turning...there is something bothering me...only I am not quite sure what it is...I sat and wrote out and paid all my bills yesterday thinking those things "undone" were keeping me awake, my laundry is caught up, house is clean...and still..restless sleep. I'm feeling a bit discouraged I guess. Maybe that is what it is. All these periods of adjustment all at once and then there are those damned hormones that are merciless in a 40-som'n-year-old lady...yeah, there are those! I just do the best I can and search out the lasting things in my life and take a hit of the encouragement they possess, inhale it, hold it in....and let it out...maybe if I cough...ah nevermind..babbling again. Just sayin' if I could get a litte light therapy...ya know, some warmth from the SUN maybe, I could correct this vitamin D deficiency, and maybe I would feel a little better. Not complaining about the rain at all...just missin' the sun!!
WOW..and again I surprise myself as I babble..."not complaining about the rain...just missin' the sun." An example of how my mind works its way into meaningful thought....and how I can read from workings of nature what goes on in my very own life and relate it. Busy mind...busy indeed. But all-in-all, reminds me and assures me that I am indeed a part of the bigger picture.
AND the questions begin: When does the sun decide to shine...when does the rain decide when to fall...I guess if I look around, it is probably when it is ready to. There really isn't a very tangible explanation for that. There is no time-line, no schedule, it just happens...and all of nature just waits patiently for it without complaint (sometimes, it elicits the help of we human helpers with our garden hoses)--but hey, that's what we are here for right...to work with...to recognize when one of our fellow earth-dwellers is parched and needs a little drink and then offer it. And when we do, we save a life and we are rewarded by beautiful blooms and sweet perfume....don't we wish that dealing with each other was that easy! But we have this little thing we call a MIND and things called instict and we WANT all the time and this want can take our minds and insticts to places that overpower our emotions or overwhelm them...and then we have that fallout to deal with.
If I were to think of myself as a flower...rooted in one place..a place that was essential and the conditions were perfect for my growth, the sun shined on me, the water fell on me, the soil nourished me and I bloomed beautifully RIGHT WHERE I WAS, why would I want anything more? That would be my entire purpose and I would have all I need to live and reveal that. Sometimes though, it is a matter of finding that perfect place where all the conditions seem to be in harmony....and being that we DO have a mind, it is usually up to us to FIND that place on our own...and most times, I do believe we have a little assistance (though again, a lot of times so subtle, it is overlooked).
I think this is the period I am in right now...my days and nights are mixed up...I wanna sleep during the day and lay awake at night, I'm missing the sun, I've had too much rain. My conditions right now are just not conducive to my growth...but I wait patiently while I actively search for a place to plant myself! In everyhing beneficial, there is action...even in being patient and waiting. If we were to just sit around and wait, we would stagnate in the same undesirable conditions.
"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disaapear and obstacles vanish."~John Quincy Adams
"The flower that follows the sun does so even on the cloudy days'"~ Robert Leighton.
Signing today....Morning glory.
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